Why would my (28F) friend (29M) and his girlfriend (27F) do this to me?

In a cozy living room, a 28-year-old woman laughed with her childhood friend, their bond a tapestry of shared memories. But his new girlfriend’s arrival shifted the vibe—cuddles and whispers turned hangouts into a third-wheel saga. When a flirty comment hinted at joining their affection, her discomfort hit a peak, and she walked out, heart racing.

This isn’t just about awkward moments; it’s a clash of friendship and boundaries. As she wrestles with their intentions and her own unease, the story probes: how do you preserve a cherished friendship when respect falters? It’s a relatable tangle of loyalty and limits.

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‘Why would my (28F) friend (29M) and his girlfriend (27F) do this to me?’

I have been friends with this guy since we were really young. We have never dated or been intimate. However we are close and do a lot of stuff together. He started dating a new girl recently. A couple days ago they came over to hangout and pretty much made out the entire time.

I have been friends with this guy since we were really young. We have never dated or been intimate. However we are close and do a lot of stuff together. He started dating a new girl recently. A couple days ago they came over to hangout and pretty much made out the entire time.

The next day he asked if I wanted to come over to hangout. Again they pretty much did the same thing. I just decided to get up and leave. When I did he was like “where are you going?” Then he texted me asking why I left. Yesterday he wanted to hangout again. I didn’t really want to but decided to anyway.

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The next day he asked if I wanted to come over to hangout. Again they pretty much did the same thing. I just decided to get up and leave. When I did he was like “where are you going?” Then he texted me asking why I left. Yesterday he wanted to hangout again. I didn’t really want to but decided to anyway.

The three of us actually did hangout like normal. However a couple hours into it his girlfriend is like “when was the last time you were with a guy?” I said a few months ago. He was sitting on the couch and she straddled him and started kissing him.

The three of us actually did hangout like normal. However a couple hours into it his girlfriend is like “when was the last time you were with a guy?” I said a few months ago. He was sitting on the couch and she straddled him and started kissing him.

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She was like “do you want to kiss him?” I looked at him and he was all smiley. She kind of pulled me closer to them. I ended up kissing him a little bit.. Finally I got up and just left. They were both like “no don’t leave.” It was just really weird.

She was like “do you want to kiss him?” I looked at him and he was all smiley. She kind of pulled me closer to them. I ended up kissing him a little bit.. Finally I got up and just left. They were both like “no don’t leave.” It was just really weird.

Walking out when a friend’s girlfriend crosses a line isn’t overreacting—it’s self-respect. The couple’s excessive PDA and suggestive comment made the woman feel like an outsider in a valued friendship. Her choice to leave echoes your past emphasis on setting boundaries, like when you distanced yourself from manipulative friends or in-laws.

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This reflects a broader issue: navigating friendships when new partners enter. Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, says, “Clear communication prevents resentment in evolving friendships.” Studies show 50% of close friendships face strain when romantic partners shift dynamics. The girlfriend’s comment, even if playful, ignored the woman’s comfort, signaling a need for clarity.

She should talk to her friend one-on-one, expressing how the PDA and remark felt disrespectful without accusing. Asking for hangouts that honor their platonic bond—like coffee without the girlfriend—could reset expectations. If the girlfriend’s behavior persists, limiting group time is wise, as Reddit suggests.

Long-term, the friendship can endure if both prioritize mutual respect. She might reflect on whether her friend’s passivity during the incident aligns with their history.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit chimed in with a mix of outrage and advice—like a group chat blowing up over drama. Here’s what they said:

RedditMember76251 − I mean there are a million different interpretations of what is going on. I'll take a stab at what the most likely situation is.. 1. They are softly pitching a threesome / throuple. 2. She is jealous of your friendship/shared history and is trying to establish herself as his man.. 3. They are wildly socially incompetent and caught up in the newness of their relationship.

4. They are both insane and get off on teasing you about what you can't have. I ordered these to reflect what I believe is the most likely. Edit - Just realized I wrote that she is trying to establish herself as his man when it should have been his woman or his main. I left it as is, apologies for the typo.

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Nonwokeboomer − Sounds like they’re both interested in bringing you into their s** life. Sounds like you’re not interested. I would NOPE out on hanging out with either person. I would drop the male friend.. You need to be clear in your boundaries in each relationship, even with friends.. Good Luck

Barnacle65 − This is how my ex and his mistress tried to make me a part of their affair, got me very drunk while i was on heavy meds and tried to get us to have a threesome, walk away and cut them both out of your life. This is absolutely not a good idea.

WaitingToEndWhenDone − I think she is trying to bring you into the relationship. She is probably bi and has coaxed some truth out of him that he hasn’t been completely honest with you about, such as the fact that he has always been into you but was afraid of telling you out of fear of losing you as a friend which is important to you both.

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She is pushing the issue, and getting him out of his comfort zone for her own reasons. I would suggest talking to him honestly to put it all on the table before it has a negative impact. Only the two of you can decide if this is a good thing for your friendship, if it should involve someone else or not, but you wont figure it out if you just let it get weird without talking.

No_Jaguar67 − Are you confused about them trying to get you into a threesome?

Esl_96 − Wow, this is a really weird situation and, from my point of view, really unsettling.. I would advise you to cut ties with them, unless you're into that sort of thing?. They clearly have no respect for your presence, and I think his girlfriend is extremely rude.

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Wanderful-Woman − They are testing the waters to see if you would be interested in a threesome with them. Not sure why they didn’t just come out and ask. If you want to salvage this longtime friendship I would talk to your friend and ask him point blank if that is what’s going on.

And then tell him that you are not into that and would prefer to remain just friends. If you all hang out again and his GF brings it up, just tell her that as you already told your friend, that’s not your thing. If they continue to push the issue stop hanging out with them.

xvszero − Because he asked her for a threesome, she agreed, and he said 'hey I know a girl...'. He ain't your friend.

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HeartAccording5241 − They want a threesome with you

IRunWithScissors87 − I'm going with creative writing on this one

These takes are spicy, but do they solve the awkwardness or just fan the flames?

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This tale of a friendship tested by PDA and a flirty misstep paints a vivid picture of boundaries under fire. The woman’s exit wasn’t flight—it was a stand for respect in a bond she cherishes. A candid talk with her friend could mend the rift, setting rules for future hangouts. But if the weirdness lingers, stepping back might save her peace. How would you handle a friend’s partner crossing the line? Share your thoughts—let’s unravel this awkward knot!

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