[UPDATE] Would it be okay/weird if I [20F] asked out the stranger [24M] who saved me from being k**napped out to dinner?

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In a bustling campus coffee shop, a 20-year-old student fidgeted nervously, clutching a borrowed sweatshirt and awaiting the man who saved her from a terrifying night. Weeks earlier, his quick thinking on a dark trail thwarted a dangerous encounter, turning a stranger into a hero. Now, her gesture of thanks—a coffee meetup—has sparked something more, with lunch and a dinner invite following.

This update isn’t just about gratitude; it’s about a young woman navigating admiration, nerves, and the thrill of connection. As she wonders if her hero feels the same, her story asks: can a moment of courage bloom into something lasting?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

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‘[UPDATE] Would it be okay/weird if I [20F] asked out the stranger [24M] who saved me from being k**napped out to dinner?’

I'm back with the long-awaited update. But first, thank you all who responded on my first post and gave their advice! I definitely wouldn't of asked if it weren't for all the positive comments! A lot of you suggested that I just shoot him a text and give him an update in terms of my situation and then ask him if we could meet up for coffee (dinner seemed too much like a date) so I could return his sweatshirt and thank him. That's basically exactly what I did.

I shot him a text and told him that I had filed the police report and that the police will be in contact with me. Then I asked him (in a double text) if I could take him out to coffee to thank him and return his sweatshirt. He actually didn't respond for a good day and I was really starting to feel like I'd totally overstepped but then he did!

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He first told me that it was great that I filed the report and then he asked me how I was feeling. He also said that I didn't have to thank him and that he was just doing what anyone would've done if they were in that situation, but that a quick coffee sounded good. So we scheduled to have coffee on a Saturday morning.

Going into our meeting, I was actually super nervous for some reason and ended up being 15 minutes early. So I sat for about 10 minutes, fidgeting with his sweater and waiting for him to show up. To be honest, I wasn't even that sure I knew what he looked like. The entire night is still pretty jumbled and when he was walking me back, I barely paid any attention to him (it was also super dark) since I was just replaying what happened over and over again in my head.

I just remembered he was tall and had a nice smile. Then, this really tall dude walks in, scans the shop, sees me and then gives me an awkward smile and waves. I didn't know what to say after our initial niceties, so I just blurted out, 'Woah, your eyes are actually blue, I thought they were brown haha.' I wanted to crawl into a hole after I said that but he laughed and said, 'Yea they can be deceiving in the dark.'

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Then we ordered coffee (he refused to let me pay) and we sat down. First things first, I gave him back his sweatshirt and he thanked me. We ended up chatting for two hours about mostly random stuff, like our classes, our summer, the Office (which is also my favorite show), politics, music, etc.

I also asked him why he decided to call me 'Maddie' when he was trying to save me and he told me he read an article somewhere that if you pretend to know a stranger who's in trouble, you're most likely to help without escalating the situation or getting you or the other person hurt.

So yes, he's sweet and caring and devilishly handsome and we really clicked. But he didn't seem that interested in me, not that it was a date. So we then went about five days with no contact until I came across a meme about the Office and decided on a whim to send it to him. It ended up being a good decision since we ended up talking until 1:00 am.

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Next morning, I was feeling bold again and after much debating, I sent him a text that said, 'Hey, can I please take you out to lunch? Coffee didn't count since you didn't even let me pay for you.' He said yes and this time I managed to successfully pay for our meal.

I wore a nice sundress to lunch and he said, 'I love that dress! You look really good!' We had a really great time again but as we were leaving the restaurant I realized that he left his phone on the chair so I grabbed it and gave it to him. (This is important later on). About two weeks later (he went out of town but we were still sporadically texting), he sends me a text that said, 'Hey, can I take you out to dinner to thank you for grabbing my phone?' OMG.

He's too cute. (For those of you who might not have caught on, he was mimicking how I asked him out). Anyway, of course I said yes and now we're going out to dinner tomorrow night. Ahhh I like him a lot but I have no idea how he feels about me. Maybe I'll ask him over dinner tomorrow. :) But so far, that's what has happened.

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A near-tragic night has woven an unexpected thread of connection for this young woman, whose coffee and lunch with her rescuer now lead to a dinner date. Her bold texts and his reciprocal invite suggest mutual interest, but the intensity of their first encounter complicates things. Gratitude and attraction are entwined, creating a delicate dance of intentions as they explore their chemistry.

This reflects a broader dynamic: intense shared experiences can fast-track emotional bonds. Psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron notes, “Adrenaline from high-stakes moments can mimic romantic attraction.” Her infatuation may partly stem from the rescue’s emotional charge, as Reddit users warned, but their easy banter over coffee and shared love for The Office hint at genuine compatibility.

To navigate this, she should keep things light, letting their connection unfold naturally. Her lunch invite was a smart, casual step; dinner offers a chance to deepen their bond. Avoiding early pressure—like asking his feelings, as Reddit cautioned—keeps the vibe relaxed. Therapy, which she’s pursuing, will help her process the trauma and clarify her emotions.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit swooned over this budding connection, tossing out encouragement and playful warnings. Here’s what they said:

QUESO0523 − Good luck with dinner! Maybe your theme will end up being that you save each other from silly things.

mysweetsovay − Fiancé of a CS major here....they are BUSY! Lol. Especially if working part time, so maybe that explains the time without contact. I definitely think he seems interested! He seems like an intelligent, genuine, ambitious guy. Just continue to be you, don’t set high expectations, and take it slow. I really hope it works out for you!. Also, thank goodness you made it out safe from that scary situation!

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claricesabrina − He would not ask you out for dinner if he wasn’t interested! Don’t worry about that :)

crockaloo − Well this is friggin’ cute

hanging-by-a-thread − Is this a movie? Because I feel like this is a movie .... This is actually really cute and like someone else has said, it made me smile. I find myself really hoping that this is the start of some amazing romance but even if it’s not, I hope you guys end up being friends for the long haul. He sounds like a good person and so do you.

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clicksnd − 1) yes he likes you. 2) please be more overt in letting him know you like him romantically.. You're doing great! This is super cute.

Bone-of-Contention − This is adorable, and is also the best resolution that could have come out of a situation like that. Can you imagine dating and people asking how you met? It sounds like something out of a book or movie!

Deidara77 − hhhhh.

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[Reddit User] − Don't ask how he feels, let it be. That kind of question is super annoying to be honest, especially so early - don't scare him off yet.

savnap − That’s wonderful!!! I would personally wait to have a few more dates before asking how he feels about you since you two have only had the coffee and lunch date. Sometimes that puts pressure on the budding relationship. I would enjoy the time spent with each other for now and in the near future ask how he feels. :)

These Reddit cheers are heartwarming, but do they guide her best next steps? Should she dive into romance or take it slow?

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From a terrifying trail to a cozy dinner date, this student’s journey with her rescuer is a heartwarming twist of fate. Her courage to reach out and his warm response hint at something special, but the shadow of that night lingers. With therapy guiding her healing, she’s poised for growth—romantic or not. How do you nurture a spark born from crisis? Share your thoughts below—have you ever found connection in an unexpected moment, or cheered on a budding romance?

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