[UPDATE] WIBTA for not forgiving my husband for cheating on me with his ex-wife?

A quiet park once held a tearful talk, but now a new storm brews for a person caught in a web of betrayal and hope. Their husband, Peter, once shattered their world by cheating with his ex-wife, Allison, and blaming their adopted son, Jack, for stealing attention. Divorce papers are nearly signed, yet Peter’s sudden shift to “father of the year” muddies the waters. Jack, longing for the family they once were, weeps for reconciliation, while a wary friend shields the person from Peter’s reach. Is this a genuine change or a calculated play?

This update isn’t just about a marriage’s end—it’s a tug-of-war between heart and head, love and caution. As the person grapples with Peter’s therapy claims and a meeting request, Reddit’s AITA community dives in, sniffing out manipulation amid the apologies. For those who want to read the previous part: WIBTA for not forgiving my husband for cheating on me with his ex-wife?

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‘[UPDATE] WIBTA for not forgiving my husband for cheating on me with his ex-wife?’

I know I said that my last update would be the final but I'm so very confused right now. So, we're finishing with the divorce proceedings but Peter's attitude has given a 180° and I don't know if I'm crazy or what. The last time I posted here, Peter was basically saying that our son was the reason for our divorce and only wanted custody of him to see me.

We'll, now he's being father of the year. A friend of mine, Dean (fake name) is handling the drops and pick ups of Jack so that I don't see Peter, at first he was mad and called me because he thought he and I were dating, then he didn't care.

Now, I thought that he would treat Jack badly and I kept a very close on him, asked him questions about his father, how everything was going, etc. Jack told me that he's been acting like the perfect Dad, he's nice, he plays with him, helps him, and is completely different from before.

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I have talked to Peter and he told me he was going to therapy, which I'm happy for, and he has messaged me, apologized, and told me that we should try couples therapy. I declined and he hasn't asked again but he wants us to meet up at his house tomorrow to discuss everything that happened, he said it was part of his therapy.

I haven't gone to therapy, I can't afford it right now, but Jack is. I can't say I don't miss Peter because he was a great partner and husband before everything went down, but I don't trust him after all that happened. So, I don't know what to say to him tomorrow or how to express how I feel about it.

Is it wrong to miss him? I mean, this whole thing happened because he slept with someone else and I know that he hasn't seen Allison and won't be seeing her again because she's also done. Should I just move past it? Jack is also saying that he misses the three of us together, he's cried to me about it more times than I can count and asks why I can't forgive his dad.

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What the hell am I supposed to do? To feel? It's a shirt update. I guess that I'm just trying to vent without judgement from the people I know and give an update to those who asked it. Thanks again for all the support I received in my other posts.

Peter’s pivot from resenting Jack to playing perfect dad raises red flags as high as wedding flags. The person’s mistrust, despite Jack’s glowing reports, isn’t paranoia—it’s survival. Peter’s affair and past obsession, including possible stalking, cast a long shadow, and his sudden shift smells like a tactic to regain control, especially with a private meeting request.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship expert, warns, “Manipulators often target what you value most—in this case, your child—to pull you back” . His claim that therapy demands a home meeting is dubious—legitimate therapists prioritize safe spaces, like offices. Jack’s pleas for family unity, while heartbreaking, may reflect Peter’s subtle coaching, a concern echoed by Reddit.

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The person’s focus on Jack’s therapy is commendable, but they need support too. Lerner suggests firm boundaries: meet Peter only in public or with his therapist, use co-parenting apps, and seek low-cost therapy via community clinics. Dating can wait—Jack’s safety and their own clarity come first. If Peter’s change is real, time and consistent actions will prove it.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit swooped in like a hawk, claws out for Peter’s motives, with warnings sharp as broken vows. It’s like a family meeting where everyone’s got a horror story and a hunch. Here’s the unfiltered pulse:

beached_not_broken − It’s love bombing. He knows your child is your priority and so that’s what he’s targeting. My ex cheated and was a diagnosed s**iopath/s** addict. To “prove he’d changed” he joined s** addicts anon to show he had changed. Even sent me a photo of his one month chip.

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I told him I’d never take him back regardless. So he never went back again, and told me that he’d wished he’d given me an std (I was pregnant) so that I’d have a “effed up kid” so that no one would ever want me…. Love bombing isn’t sending gifts, it’s knowing so. Done so well that you can target them to get what you want..

AnakaliaKehau − I would be very careful right now, he’s acting like father of the year which is out of character for him. He knows what you value and it’s Jack. So he’s doing everything to win you back by being the best Dad to Jack. He even has Jack asking you why you can’t forgive his father.

I would be wary that he’s coaching Jack in small ways to try to win you back. This is either genuine or a master plan. The way he acted before about you being his makes me think it may not be genuine. I would stay the line you’re currently in and just monitor the situation because the last thing you want to do is cave only to realize it was all fake.

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He even told you before that he cheated because you were not paying enough attention to him so what happens if he feels like that again? Green light for him to sleep with someone else? I wish you all the best. Updateme

Thin-Policy8127 − It would be idiotic to even see him in private let alone contemplate getting back together with him. Actually doing that would be insane. All I know is that my father had a friend like your ex and he started “being perfect” for his ex wife until she agreed to let him see the kids and then killed two of them and himself “to get back at her for leaving.”. This isn’t an epic love story. This is a Stephen King horror story in the making.

Just-passedby − I wouldn’t suggest having him in your home for therapy. You can let him know that it’s cool for you to join his therapist during one of his individual therapy sessions. Just keep him out of your safe space.

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Successful-Chair7790 − PLEASE DONT GO BACK.. You were scared.. He followed you.. You feared what he would do to your CHILD.. You feared your safety. My ex did alot of the same stuff and it’s been 10 years and he didn’t get better.

And no. Not the cheating. The obsession. The creepy.. Once I was gone for over a year, more and more kept happening. Or becoming clearer.. How old were you when you “first met” or in the photos ?. Because that’s insane.

CrazyLeadership5397 − Whatever you do, don’t go to his place. If you want to meet with him, make it a public place. Updateme 

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Trishshirt5678 − Insisting on seeing you alone won’t be ‘part of his therapy’, he’s lying. Possibly to himself as well as you, but even so, keep away.

NotPerfectJustHelped − If it's part of his therapy then it can be held at his therapist's office, not his house.

Prestonluv − It’s okay to miss what used to be. It’s not okay to go back to someone who valued someone else’s pussy more than he valued his own wife and family.

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canonrobin − So your ex essentially stalked you as a teenager and slowly groomed you until you were old enough to legally date. Why would ever trust anything he ever says or does again. He's playing the long game now. Being the perfect dad, and acting like he's getting help and getting better.

Don't ever forget what he said. That Jack was the problem in your relationship, like he was a burden and in the way. For once in his life he was being 100% truthful to you. Don't go to his house to have a meeting with him. Only agree to meet in a public setting. He's still trying to control you. Please update again.

Redditors smelled love bombing, feared for Jack’s safety, and urged the person to keep Peter at arm’s length. Some saw Jack’s tears as coached; others begged for public meetings only. But do these dire warnings untangle the truth, or just deepen the doubt?

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Peter’s “perfect dad” act is a shiny lure, but the person’s hesitation to bite shows strength forged in betrayal’s fire. Jack’s tears tug at the heart, yet Peter’s past—cheating, blaming, stalking—looms like a storm cloud. As the person faces a meeting that could sway their future, they’re leaning on Reddit’s wisdom to stay grounded. Would you trust a cheater’s sudden turnaround, or guard your heart and child at all costs? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this raw chat burning!

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