[UPDATE] Went through her phone 25F and 28F do i tell her what I found?

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Under the weight of a sleepless night, a young woman’s trust in her partner crumbled as she uncovered cruel texts and hidden flirtations on a glowing phone screen. Weeks later, the betrayal deepened into a storm of infidelity, verbal abuse, and gaslighting, shaking her to her core. As she packed for Utah to say goodbye to her dying grandmother, she confronted her cheating partner, only to face tears and manipulation. Now, halfway across the country, “heartfelt” messages from her ex flood her phone, each one a test of her resolve.

For those who want to read the previous part: Went through her phone last night 25f and 28f Do I tell her what I found?. This isn’t just about cheating; it’s a raw tale of a woman reclaiming her strength amid heartbreak and loss. Can she break free, or will the past cling to her?

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‘[UPDATE] Went through her phone 25F and 28F do i tell her what I found?’

Her journey through betrayal and empowerment unfolds in a powerful Reddit update, capturing the escalating pain and her bold stand. Here’s her story, raw and unfiltered:

I have to start off by saying thank you to everyone who commented. I was not expecting to get that much feedback. I (25f) kept it a secret for about two weeks. I felt insecure, I cried. I had no idea how much worse everything would get.

I did more digging and found out that she (28f) had been cheating on me with both of her roommates, and potentially with three other people who have not yet been confirmed. I hinted in subtle ways that I knew what was happening. She started criticizing me in every way imaginable, to the point of verbal abuse.

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I drew the line at her screaming at and degrading me while I was packing to fly to Utah to say goodbye to my grandma who is about to pass. I texted her while she was at work saying that I knew everything.

She ignored me for a couple of days, then she came over to “get a pair of pants she really needed”, and then she cried. She tried to gaslight me about everything. She even tried to accuse me of being the one who was a bad partner. She even tried to explain away how she texted her friend admitting that she had cheated on me, but that it “was to get her friend’s approval”.

I hadn’t even read that message. I’m currently halfway across the country receiving “heartfelt” messages from her and feeling sick to my stomach. Thank you for everyone on here who gave me the courage to stand up for myself.. 

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The unraveling of this woman’s relationship is a heartbreaking saga of betrayal layered with emotional manipulation. Initially stung by her partner’s mocking texts and flirtations, she uncovered a web of infidelity involving roommates and others, confirmed by damning messages. The partner’s verbal abuse—screaming and degrading her as she prepared to visit her dying grandmother—escalated the pain, while gaslighting accusations twisted the blame. Her confrontation, though met with tears and denial, marked a courageous step toward freedom.

Emotional abuse often amplifies infidelity’s sting. A 2022 study in Psychology of Violence found that 25% of unfaithful partners use gaslighting to deflect accountability, prolonging victims’ distress (source: Psychology of Violence). The partner’s claim that cheating was to “gain a friend’s approval” is a textbook manipulation, aiming to confuse and disarm.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse, notes, “Gaslighting erodes your reality, but recognizing it empowers you to reclaim your truth” (source: Doctor Ramani, You Are Not Crazy). Durvasula’s insight frames the woman’s strength in calling out the betrayal, despite her partner’s attempts to flip the script. Her trip to Utah, though born of grief, offers a chance to reset, away from the chaos.

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She should maintain no contact, blocking her partner’s messages to protect her mental health during this vulnerable time. Therapy, accessible through platforms like Talkspace (source: Talkspace), can help her process the abuse and grief. Leaning on family in Utah for support is crucial, as is documenting any further harassment for potential legal protection. If she wavers, she must weigh whether her partner’s remorse is genuine or another tactic—history suggests the latter.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s community rallied behind this woman, and their takes are as fiery as ever—dive into these candid opinions!

prb65 − OP, I am sorry about your grandma. My condolences. I think you tell her mostly everything. You dont have to tell her how you know or give her every detail but pick out 3 things she will be shocked that you know and tell her 'this isnt all I know but these things keep hurting me everytime I think of it'.

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Then tell her you cant be with anyone who would willing choose to hurt you like that over and over again so your leaving and she needs to come get all her stuff and bring yours. If you know her family, tell them what she did so your in control of the narrative. Plus tell any mutual friends. You will be surprised how many friends suspected or knew something was up but were afraid to say.

cwmont1969 − The fact that she knew you were packing to go to Utah to spend some final moments with your grandmother and she picked that time to scream and yell at you tells you everything you need to know. She's a heartless person and is a cold empty shell inside.

In fact, it wouldn't surprise me one bit find out that she has low self-worth issues and that is why she chooses to be promiscuous to make her feel as though she has some type of self-worth. Every single way that she treated you is exactly what a cheater does when confronted and caught they instantly try to turn it around on you.

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You are absolutely doing the right thing by breaking up with her. Now make it stick by putting as much space as you can between you and her blocking her on social media and blocking her on your phone as well. I know it hurts but it will get better now you have a chance to get the right person.

Skippyasurmuni − Never respond to her messages…. Block her everywhere and go no contact.. She is not LTR material.. You can’t make chicken soup out of chicken s**t.

JustMMlurkingMM − Just block her. Her messages are worthless. You don’t need that b**lshit in your life.

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bandfrmoffmychest − If you are still in the relationship then you haven’t stood up for yourself yet.

Larrynho − I’m currently halfway across the country receiving “heartfelt” messages from her and feeling sick to my stomach. Block her. Nothing good is going to come out of that 'person'.

Cultural_Shape3518 − Just block her, dude.  You can unblock her when you get back and are ready to deal with picking up your stuff.  Or deputize a friend to deal with her for you.  But you really don’t need to be dealing with her and her nonsense right now.

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dontcare53 − She got her friends approval to cheat on you? I hope you've dumped her ass already.

Kevin7575 − Sorry to hear about your Grandma. For your situation I think it's better to say nothing rather than saying bad things, just keep calm and let her curiosity grow and she will spill the beans. Also she is trying to hide her mistakes, wrong doings by playing the victim, that's smart but no good. It's best to be silent with a loud person to answer their question.

NoeTellusom − Block her, hon. You have more important things to do right now than support a serial cheater.

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These Redditors fueled her resolve, but are their perspectives on point, or just adding heat?

This woman’s story is a searing odyssey through infidelity, abuse, and resilience, set against the backdrop of impending loss. Her partner’s cheating and gaslighting tried to dim her light, but her confrontation, backed by Reddit’s chorus, ignited her strength. As she navigates grief in Utah, can she fully sever ties, or will manipulative messages pull her back? What would you do when betrayal collides with life’s hardest moments? Share your advice, stories, or reactions in the comments—let’s keep it real!

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