UPDATE: AITA for never telling my Mother I married into money?

In a decision that marks a decisive turning point in her personal life, the 34-year-old woman has taken bold steps to protect the stability of her newly expanded family. Following a flood of support and thoughtful feedback from her previous post, she and her husband spent a long night discussing the tough choices ahead. In the end, the couple agreed that family—especially the well-being of their daughter, now legally their adopted child—must come before unyielding ties with a toxic past.

The update reveals that they have now cut off all direct contact with her mother. This means blocking her on every social media platform, changing phone numbers to secure their privacy, and involving the family lawyer to formalize that no unsupervised visits will occur until her mother meets strict conditions. With plans to live with her in-laws for the foreseeable future and future trips designed to focus exclusively on their new family’s well-being, the couple is determined to establish an environment free from old, destructive patterns.

For those who want to read the previous part: AITA for never telling my Mother I married into money?

‘UPDATE: AITA for never telling my Mother I married into money?’

I got some really good feedback from my post and it led to my Husband and I staying up most of the night discussing what we wanted to do and a decision was reached. It wasn't an easy one but we have a child to think of now and she has to come first.

We blocked my Mother on every social Media, we changed our phone numbers and we reached out to the family lawyer to get in contact with her to inform her that all visits have been stopped after how she spoke to me in front of my sister. She has to get clean for at least a year with weekly tests if she wants to see my sister again.

My Mother can contact our family lawyer if she needs help with the tests but beyond that she gets no help from us unless she wants to go to rehab which we will pay for, directly to the rehab not her. My Husband, Sister and I have also moved in with my In-Laws for the time being as my Mother knows where we live.  We will be looking for a new place and my In-Laws are aware of the situation and that we are cutting all contact for now. 

Honestly my In-Laws are delighted to have us staying with them, when we arrived the guest room my sister is using for now had an army of Squishmallows on the bed they are her current obsession and my FIL makes sure to bring a new one each time he sees her I always think she must have them all now and each time i'm wrong, how he keeps track of what she has and doesn't have I don't know as he never buys doubles.

We are settling in well, we are even planning a small Holiday with just my Husband, sister and I to get away from the stress we've been under, nowhere abroad as she doesn't have a passport yet but we'll be fixing that soon as we want to take her to Lapland for Christmas.

All in all we're doing alright though I admit I am feeling very conflicted and guilty over this even though I know it's the right choice it just doesn't make it easy.. Thank you all so much for your comments, and advice on the original post.

Family therapist Dr. Melissa Franklin explains that “placing a child’s safety and stability above all else is one of the most challenging yet critical decisions a parent can make. In situations where parental influence is toxic, cutting off contact—even temporarily—can prevent long-term psychological damage.” Dr. Franklin’s perspective is rooted in the idea that healthy boundaries are essential, especially when previous relational dynamics have proven to be destructive.

In this case, the decision to block all digital communication, change phone numbers, and intervene legally reflects a deep commitment to protecting the child. The in-depth consultations with a family lawyer and the insistence on rehabilitation for any future contact ensure that emotions do not cloud the crucial priority: the well-being of the new daughter.

Experts further advise that while such decisions are painful, they can be the first step toward healing for all involved. A temporary severance, accompanied by professional support, can allow individuals to reflect, grow, and, eventually, rebuild relationships on healthier foundations.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The community has responded with a broadly supportive tone while emphasizing the importance of setting firm boundaries in the face of toxic behavior. Many agree that protecting one’s peace and the well-being of children should always be a top priority, even if it requires making painful family decisions. Commenters have noted that while it’s natural to feel conflicted or guilty about severing ties with a loved one, especially a parent, such steps are often necessary for long-term healing and stability.

Efficient-Tax-8398 − Really uplifting update. Thank you. I wish you and your family well.

BefuddledPolydactyls − Often, the hard choices are the correct choices. Best wishes to you all as you move forward.

[Reddit User] − Good for you in cutting her off. Though offering her another chance through the tests and rehab still smells of hope over experience.

DgShwgrl − What a wonderfully solid family unit you have - your sister is going to look back one day and be eternally grateful for the steps you took to protect her. Plus your FIL and husband sound like a top notch blokes so I feel like I should ask, on behalf of the internet; do they have any single brothers? 🤣

poropurxn − Excuse me, but you will ABSOLUTELY be the AH for not showing us the army of Squishmallows 😭😭😭😭

angieyes1215 − you adopted her though right? Is she not your daughter now? (I'm not trying to stir the pot, i'm just genuinely curious as to why you refer to her as sister instead of daughter if that's the case. i know up until now she's had bio mom in her life but she's also 2 and likely not to remember her anyways if things go south and she doesn't succeed in rehab...

I_wanna_be_anemone − I sincerely hope this is the reality check your mother needs to reflect on her life choices and do better. I sincerely do. But regardless, you’ve just given your new daughter the stability she needs and a stable foundation going forward. Good luck. 

specialkk77 − I know it must have been a hard choice, but it was the correct choice to protect your peace and to protect your daughter. Some parents aren’t made to be them and clearly your “mother” is one of those people. She didn’t care until she saw $$$$. Now you’ll be able to have stability and love in your lives. Good luck with everything going forward! 

swillshop − So wonderful to hear. And so impressive how decisive and swift you and your husband have been to take action. You feel conflicted/guilty because, in your heart, you still want a good, loving, supportive relationship with your mother; but she is the one who has and is still making that impossible. You did exactly as you should: you put the child - your child now - and her needs first. Good wishes to your family.

Dogmother123 − You have made the safest and best choice for the child and that's what matters here. You have nothing to feel guilty for.

In conclusion, this update reveals that, even though the decision to sever contact with a toxic parent is fraught with conflict and feelings of guilt, it may ultimately be essential for a healthier future. By blocking all communication, securing legal backing, and temporarily relocating to protect her daughter, the woman is taking decisive action to ensure stability and love in her new family structure.

This update raises pressing questions for readers: How far would you go to protect your child from a toxic influence, even if it means cutting off a biological parent? What boundaries have you found essential in maintaining healthy family relationships? Join the discussion by sharing your experiences and insights on navigating the complexities of family loyalty versus personal well-being.

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