[UPDATE] My older sister [29F] got drunk and flirted with my crush [24M], then confessed my [27F] feelings without me asking. Why do I feel like s**t?

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In a cozy apartment, a 27-year-old woman sips coffee, her heart lighter after resolving a storm of sisterly betrayal and romantic awkwardness. Her older sister’s drunken flirtation with her crush and unauthorized confession once left her reeling, but open talks have paved a new path.

This Reddit update, bursting with resilience and a touch of humor, charts a journey from hurt to harmony. As the woman forges a playful connection with her crush and mends ties with her sister, her story invites us to explore the power of communication, the risks of casual romance, and the strength to rebuild trust.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

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‘[UPDATE] My older sister [29F] got drunk and flirted with my crush [24M], then confessed my [27F] feelings without me asking. Why do I feel like s**t?’

I talked a bit with Derek on Discord and apologized for things coming out this way, especially since he was recovering from a breakup. He was really chill and empathetic about it. He invited me out to drinks later that week and since, well, everything was already known it was actually pretty easy to talk to him about it, and we laughed it off.

I let him know I was still into him but wanted to give him space and also didn't want to complicate our friendship. He was very kind and affirming about it.. ​ Later that night, he asked if I wanted to kiss and I say said hell yes, so we made out a bit - it was amazing. We made plans to hang out later that week and one thing led to another and we did the monster mash.

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It was a graveyard smash. :) Our friendship seems to have deepened a bit as a result and I'm super happy with the FWB arrangement. I'm doubtful that the future will hold any further romance between us other than physical, but honestly I'm pretty happy with it?.

My sister and I also talked it out and everything is good between us now - she apologized, agreed to start therapy (recognizing the pattern of her going after people I like) and has been checking in with me to make sure I'm okay.. ​

The woman’s resolution showcases the healing power of communication, turning a painful betrayal into growth. Her sister’s apology and therapy commitment signal a step toward accountability, while the friends-with-benefits (FWB) arrangement with her crush reflects bold acceptance of a non-traditional bond. Yet, her lingering feelings pose a risk of emotional entanglement.

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From her sister’s perspective, alcohol and past patterns fueled the misstep, but her willingness to seek help is promising. Dr. Susan Forward, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Rebuilding sibling trust requires consistent actions, not just apologies, to repair breaches” (Toxic Parents). The sister’s proactive steps align with this, though time will test her resolve.

Casual relationships like FWB can complicate emotions. A 2022 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 70% of FWB arrangements lead to emotional challenges when one partner seeks more (JSPR). The woman’s therapy is a vital tool to navigate her feelings and maintain clarity.

For advice, she should set clear boundaries with her crush to protect her heart, regularly checking in to ensure mutual understanding. With her sister, ongoing talks about respecting confidences will solidify trust. For others, honest communication and self-awareness are key to balancing unconventional relationships and family ties.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s blend of cheers and caution lights up this update with seven curated comments, offering wit, empathy, and advice:

beyonddisbelief − Glad things worked out for you. You mentioned he's your crush but now you're in a FWB arrangement while he's on rebound, just be sure you stay clear-headed about the FWB fact and keep your crushy feelings in check if he ultimately doesn't plan pursuing an emotionally invested relationship with you.

triciamilitia − Am I the only one who doesn’t see this as a happy ending??

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vamosvamos − Could be off base on this, but it sounds like you set your sights on someone and then settle for less than what you want. You said in your last post your sister ended up entangled with guys you expressed interest in - and I know that feeling and it does suck

but from what little I know here it also seems like you don’t go just go after what you want. If this FWB situation is what you really want and I kinda doubt it, then way to go, could be very fun. But maybe just maybe take your overstepping siblings moves as a kick in the ass and go for what you really want.

tiptopkitkat − I'm super happy with the FWB arrangement. Will sound rude, but another person trying to settle for second best option. Deep down you want it to work.

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ispeakgibber − Well looks like your update post got 10x the upvotes. But it’s also worrying considering your FWB arrangement is built on a rebound

tinybananamoon − Not to be a Debbie downer, but when I started having s** with my bff, it sent everything to absolute s**t. We stopped taking for a few months and then started hanging again. Almost instantly, we started fooling around again, and I told him it would just complicate everything like before, but he swore up and down it wouldn't. Long story short, it totally did.

We are no longer on speaking terms, and I lost someone who was very important to me. The damage becomes irreparable, and you know you're not going to be happy about your future place in his life when he leaves you to be in an actual relationship later on. Save yourself the heartache. You know deep down that this arrangement isn't what you want. And you deserve to be with someone who wants all of you.

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dogsonclouds − I still think what your sister did is super s**tty, and I don’t think it should be so easily forgotten, especially because it’s a pattern of behaviour. She needs to grow up honestly. I feel like you’re settling for less with this guy because you thought things were ruined by your sister and then when he wanted FWB you were like: “thank god, yep that’ll do”. You deserve someone who reciprocates your feelings properly

Slezska − Just be careful of getting used. I know you said he was kind about the whole thing but it sounds like he found out that you’re into him and even though he doesn’t want to date you, he still just wants to hook up tho. I can see how this is a win win for him, and I’m sure it’s hard to see clearly with your feelings maybe clouding your judgment, but just be careful he doesn’t get an upper hand in this new relationship. Have a clear talk about any ground rules or boundaries.

L3onskii − Careful with that arrangement. I've rarely heard of feelings not being hurt once it gets to the point of stopping that kind of relationship

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TherulerT − I'm doubtful that the future will hold any further romance between us other than physical, but honestly I'm pretty happy with it. So.. It wasn't a crush then, you just wanted to get laid?

These Redditors celebrate the progress but warn of emotional risks, but do their insights fully address the FWB and sisterly dynamics, or is there more to consider?

This tale of turning betrayal into connection highlights the magic of honest talks and the complexity of casual romance. Whether you’re cheering the woman’s bold moves or cautioning her heart, her story resonates with anyone balancing family ties and evolving relationships. Have you ever navigated a tricky sibling apology or a friends-with-benefits arrangement? Share your stories or tips below—what’s the key to keeping trust and emotions in check?

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