[UPDATE] I (35M) was planning to separate from my wife (35F) after 10 years of marriage but received some troubling news from my doctor. Should I stay so my son (4M) can have a more stable childhood?

In a modest suburban home, where the scent of fresh coffee lingers, a 35-year-old father exhales a cautious sigh of relief. Months ago, he stood on the brink of leaving his critical wife, worn down by years of unequal chores and childcare. A grim hospital visit shifted everything, with doctors warning of a potentially terminal illness. Now, an unexpected ray of hope—a better prognosis—has sparked a fragile truce in his marriage, leaving him to wonder if love can be rebuilt.

His Reddit update, a raw glimpse into resilience, pulls readers into a story of second chances. With his 4-year-old son’s future in focus, this father’s journey resonates, inviting us to ponder how hope and health can reshape family ties.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Story.

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‘[UPDATE] I (35M) was planning to separate from my wife (35F) after 10 years of marriage but received some troubling news from my doctor. Should I stay so my son (4M) can have a more stable childhood?’

Just thought I provided some update as thanks to everyone who had given me some thoughts and directions. The results from doctor is not great but not the worst either. They think we caught it early enough and there are a couple option we can consider. Got at least a couple years, likely more.

I laid out everything to my wife, and she agrees we will bury the past and start afresh for now on a more equal footing (hiring helps as needed) as I start the treatment. We will reevaluate our situation at a later date. In case it does turn for the worse, I did start writing letters and recording messages for my son as some have suggested. Thanks for the idea.. That's all I can think of for now.

Facing a health crisis while mending a strained marriage is no small feat. This father’s decision to pause divorce plans reflects a pragmatic hope, but the road ahead hinges on mutual effort. His wife’s agreement to start afresh, with hired help to balance chores, suggests a willingness to change, though past dismissiveness raises questions about sustainability.

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Her perspective may stem from unaddressed stress or emotional disconnect, possibly intensified post-childbirth. The father’s acts of service, while admirable, highlight a one-sided dynamic that needs recalibration. A 2022 study from the American Sociological Association notes that equitable chore division boosts marital satisfaction for 63% of couples (source). This shift could be pivotal for them.

Dr. Esther Perel, a noted psychotherapist, observes, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives” (source). Perel’s insight underscores the need for both partners to rebuild trust through open communication. The father’s proactive steps—writing letters for his son—show foresight, but the couple must address root issues.

To move forward, they should consider couples therapy to navigate fluctuating responsibilities, especially during treatment. Tools like the “Fair Play” system, as a Redditor suggested, could help divide tasks fairly (source). He should also secure his son’s financial future via a trust, ensuring stability.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s chorus of voices chimes in with a mix of skepticism, support, and practical tips. Here’s what the community served up, with a side of wit.

spred_browneye − So while you’re fighting cancer (I assume) she wants to stay as long as you hire help to help out around the house? The flip side to your argument would be that if you only have a few years left you would want to be happy.

MediumSizedMedia − More men leave their wife when the wife is sick. More women stay by their husband's side through the husbands sickness to take care of the ailing person. If you make it I want you to remember all of the hell you are about to put her through and how well she cared for you before you decide to leave her. If she doesn't take care of you well then you know the love is gone entirely and you might as well leave now.

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OverGrow69 − If your prognosis is poor, make sure your estate is set up into a trust where your wife cannot mismanage the money for your son. She sounds like the type of person that would take the money for herself.

WrastleGuy − I would still leave.  If I was going to leave someone l wouldn’t change my mind just because I could guilt them into taking care of me. As for your son though, I don’t know what the best solution is.  I do know with the time you have you need to bucket list as much as you can with him while you can.

naegmyeon − I hope you beat cancer!! Stay strong and enjoy all life has to offer!. Marriage is hard. Wishing you both the best!

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Lostinmeta4 − Look, the good news is your told your wife and she wants to take care of you thru this- even knowing you wanted to leave her.

sikonat − Good luck OP. I hope there’s a bigger village out there for you while you undergo treatment,

elgatomegustamucho − Why do people think that if they stay in their unhappy marriage it’s a more stable home for the kid? It’s usually not and you are hurting everyone.

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AdOpposite3505 − Check out the fair play book and card game. It could help more effectively divide the mental and physical load of running your household. Also please consider that the loads each of you bear may have to fluctuate as you navigate your health

Full_Elevator3221 − When you are in your most centered and quiet moments and you ask yourself that question, what comes up? Keep asking. Children most often flourish from happy loving parents-will that still be the case?

These opinions spark debate, but do they capture the full picture of a marriage on the mend?

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This father’s update is a testament to life’s unpredictability, where a health scare can pause even the deepest rifts. Choosing to rebuild with his wife while preparing a legacy for his son, he walks a tightrope of hope and caution. His story challenges us to reflect on love, resilience, and what makes a family whole. What would you do in his place—trust in a fresh start or plan for the unknown? Share your thoughts below!

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