[UPDATE] I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having.

Picture a cozy evening, the kind where neighbors swap stories and laughter drifts through open windows. In this serene bubble, a 32-year-old man sits alone, his phone glowing with secrets that shatter his seven-year marriage. What began as a single email accusing his wife of an affair has spiraled into a gut-wrenching truth: she’s entangled with not one, but three men, one with a girlfriend of his own. The air feels heavy, like a storm brewing in a once-clear sky, as depression creeps into his heart.

This update isn’t just a plot twist; it’s a raw, human plunge into betrayal’s deep end. Readers perch on the edge, hearts aching for a man blindsided by love’s collapse. How does someone rebuild when trust is this broken? The story pulls us in, demanding we wrestle with loyalty’s fragility and the courage to face what’s next.

For those who want to read the previous part: I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having.

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‘[UPDATE] I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having.’

 First of all, thanks for the advice everybody. I seriously appreciate it. Yesterday evening my wife went over to our neighbours apartment. While she was gone, I snooped through her texts and her e-mail. It pretty much confirmed that she was cheating on me with the guy I was messaged about.

But that wasn't it. There were 2 other guys she's cheating on me with and one of them has a girlfriend.. So that's where we are right now. My marriage is done and I feel depressed.. EDIT: I can't thank you guys enough for the advice. Seriously thanks.. 

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Discovering multiple affairs is like finding cracks in a home’s foundation—devastating and disorienting. The husband’s shock reflects a betrayal not just of trust but of his entire reality. His wife’s actions, involving three men, suggest a pattern of secrecy, possibly fueled by thrill or emotional voids. Yet, her choices clash with his loyalty, leaving him to question years of shared moments.

Infidelity’s ripple effects are well-documented. A 2021 YouGov poll found 60% of Americans view cheating as a dealbreaker, with serial infidelity amplifying emotional tolls like depression. Digital tools—texts, emails—make affairs easier to hide but harder to deny when exposed, as in this case.

Dr. Shirley Glass, a pioneering infidelity researcher, wrote in Not “Just Friends”, “The betrayal of infidelity is not just about sex; it’s about the violation of a sacred pact.” This fits the husband’s plight—his wife’s triple betrayal shatters their vows. Her secrecy suggests deeper issues, but the onus isn’t on him to fix her.

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Advice: He should prioritize self-protection, as Reddit urges—secure finances, consult a lawyer, and get an STD test (cdc.gov/std offers resources). Informing the other man’s girlfriend, as suggested, is a kind act. Therapy can help process grief; Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com) lists local options.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s crew swoops in with a wild mix of humor, empathy, and tough love. Buckle up for their unfiltered takes, served with a side of wit:

thatneedyo − S**t mate you know what you need?. A beer.. Not lots. Just one. Its midday and you Americans need to learn to pace it. Like if you're in south England any time come have that beer with me. Then we'll go shoot some clay pigeons and your obsession with guns will make you king of the grounds and every bloke there will call you a champ.

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Call you alright for an American as we'll have a pint down the golf course because everyone knows the f**king range doesn't have a decent bar. You drink at the golf club. If the weather is dece there will be a bit of totty so I'll introduce you to some girls who will explode a over your American accent.

Maybe you can say water funny and some other s**t.. Then maybe we'll go fishing because f**k me lad that's a prime time to have another beer. Then we'll go out to the local pub, bit of a boozer dive, then we'll say hey to Eddy and I'll say that your ex misuss was a cunt. Of the widest variety.

He'll then give you a shot. Which we'll do another of because now you're feeling good and Eddy has had the same string of luck you've had. Maybe we'll talk to those girls again and despite the fact we'll look completely different I'll tell them we're brothers who were separated at birth. Maybe you got the looks but I got the charm and all that bollocks.

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Maybe we'll go back to their place. But probably we'll have to show them we're flush so we pop to some bar where we can get them some blue wickeds and we can get more shots. I'll let you pick up up the tab then chime in with the old 'I don't feel bad about that as this lads done well over there'.

I'll take the Milly munter and who knows, she could be f**king hilarious. But I'll wing you with the hot friend. When you look cosy and youre telling her all about how sexy her accent is to you (despite being a Essex girl or some other screecher) I'll take Milly Munter home.. I'll f**k her too.

It'll be my gift to you becuase you mate don't deserve the bollocks you've been through and when you're up to your balls in tip top gash you can look me in the eye the following morning when we're having our recovery pints and tell me whole heartedly without a doubt in your mind that being free of that absolute cockwomble you called a wife was the best thing that ever happened to you.

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PeanutCheeseBar − Whoever this woman is, she did you a favor; pay it forward and inform the girlfriend of the one dude who isn't single.

Dtrain323i − Take time to grieve, you're marriage is dead. However, once you're done grieving, don't look at your marriage as a relationship anymore. It's a business deal gone bad now. Treat is as such.

Alesandramw − So sorry to hear that it is now confirmed. Keep a clear head and go through the necessary actions. I really hope you have great family and friends to help you through this time.

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Papiduro − Do you guys have children? Because if not, boy did you just dodge a huge f**king bullet.

lelunatic − STD check STAT. Sorry, man.

[Reddit User] − **Lawyer up. Gather your evidence. Keep your head low until you serve papers.**

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[Reddit User] − Sorry to hear....Please try your hardest not to let tip her off that you know. Protect yourself.....lawyer up...change all your passwords on email, social media, debit/credit cards. If she doesn't respect you enough to be loyal then she probably won't have a problem trying to s**ew you over in any other way.

Thrownawayrangers − Hey brother, I've been there. What you have to realize and remind yourself daily is - it isn't you. There isn't anything you could have done differently to prevent this. Someone that does this to their partner  not to mention other people is broken inside.

Don't let this cloud your vision of yourself, other women, the idea of marriage, or anything else. You just happened to be married to a broken person.. Get divorced. Move on. There is life after divorce and almost without fail a better one.

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[Reddit User] − There's only one thing to do, marry that dude's wife.

These Reddit nuggets swing from pub-crawl fantasies to stone-cold pragmatism. But do they capture the messy truth of moving on, or are they just shouting into the void?

This husband’s saga is a heart-wrenching dive into love’s darkest corners, where betrayal piles on betrayal. His marriage may be over, but his story sparks questions about resilience and renewal. Can you rise from such a fall? What’s the first step toward healing a heart this bruised? Share your thoughts below—would you forgive, flee, or forge a new path? Let’s unpack this rollercoaster together!

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