[UPDATE] Friend [F25] who once rejected me [M25] now says she likes me – Now that I have money.

In a dimly lit apartment, a 25-year-old man’s hopes shatter as he walks in on his longtime friend, now romantic interest, with another man. After rejecting him years ago, she confessed her love just as his business success brought wealth, sparking a brief romance. Her claim of non-exclusivity after their dates leaves him reeling, questioning her motives and their bond.

This Reddit update of romance gone wrong captures the sting of betrayal and the cost of trust. His decision to walk away, despite lingering feelings, highlights the clash between love and authenticity. Let’s explore his journey, consult expert insights, and see Reddit’s reaction to this messy fallout.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

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‘[UPDATE] Friend [F25] who once rejected me [M25] now says she likes me – Now that I have money.’

Since she told me she didn't want me many years ago, it's not like I've been lusting after her, but the feelings were still there. I know that everyone told me that it was a bad idea, but I had to try. I took everyone's advice and made sure that I didn't pay for anything that was extravagant or over the top.

Anyway, last week we went on two dates. We did the whole dinner and a movie thing and we also went to the museum. Earlier this week we went to a play, which sucked, got some food after which we had s** - which has been a long time coming. All was good. Great, actually.

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Yesterday I went over to her house to bring her lunch. I knew she was home. I picked up some Chinese food and drove to her apartment. I have the spare key to her place, so I opened the door and went in, and see her f**king some guy on the couch. We made eye contact, then I just walked out.

She called me like an hour later and told me that we weren't exclusive and that if I didn't want her to be with other guys, that's fine, but I needed to tell her in advance. I told her to get fucked. I don't have time for b**lshit like that.. So that was fun.... 

A romantic leap with a longtime friend can feel like destiny, but this man’s discovery of his partner’s infidelity—couched as “non-exclusive”—exposed a rift in values. Her casual dismissal, especially given their history and his past love, suggests a lack of emotional investment, possibly tied to his wealth.

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Dr. Helen Fisher, an anthropologist studying love, notes, “Trust and mutual commitment are cornerstones of lasting relationships—without them, passion fades” (Anatomy of Love, Helen Fisher). This woman’s failure to discuss exclusivity, despite their deep friendship, undermines trust. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 67% of relationships lacking clear exclusivity agreements faced early breakdowns (APA).

The broader issue is how financial success can attract opportunistic partners, clouding genuine affection. His choice to end things was wise, but to protect future relationships, he could prioritize open discussions about expectations early on. Sharing his hurt with mutual friends might clarify her character without forcing sides. If she pursues him, setting firm boundaries is key.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit rallied behind this man, blending sympathy for his heartbreak with cheers for dodging a dubious partner. From debating exclusivity norms to warning about her motives, their comments mix insight and indignation. Here’s what they brought to the table.

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Hanasuki − Honestly OP, if you didn't try this, you probably would be thinking 'what if' and regret not trying. I know it hurts, but now you know for sure.

TheFireflies − Here's the thing: if you hadn't had the 'we're exclusive' conversation, her sleeping with or dating other people is fair game. That tends to be how things work. That being said, since she was the one who expressed interest in you, I think you made the right call.

If she was really invested in making this work (and it wasn't about the money), she wouldn't have been so keen on f**king another guy. If she really wanted you (and since you've been friends for years, didn't need to do the whole 'getting to know you' thing), she would have acted like it.

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greengrassonthetv − Weren't exclusive but you had the keys to her apt? Ya right.. Dodged a bullet.

[Reddit User] − I know that everyone told me that it was a bad idea, but I had to try.. Well that's okay. At least now you tried and you know you don't want to be with her.

Hanks_Dad − A lot of people seem to think you're wrong for assuming exclusivity, but given the fact you guys have known each other and were friends for a long time before dating I think that makes the situation different than if you were essentially strangers prior to dating.

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I think there is a different standard of care which must be considered when longtime friends start dating, especially given that she was the one who proposed changing the nature of the relationship. For what it's worth I think you made the right call on all fronts.

ThrowSauce68 − A loss of about, say, $400 years of time and money with that girl.

[Reddit User] − Well, I think you dodged a bullet anyways. Even if you were not friends for years and she gave them to you, she should have *asked* if f**king other guys was still a thing. Even people who have a lot of partners let the other people know 'I am seeing other people too.'

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_amorfati − I don't understand how there's an exclusive and non-exclusive way of dating. Dating in my culture means boyfriend-girlfriend and that means you don't get to f**k other people but only me. And if some guy/girl try to pursue 2-3 person at the same time (not dating, just flirting) and one of them found out, he's probably dead.

edtehgar − You absolutely did the right thing. Nice job op.

valiantdistraction − uh... good on you for noping the f**k outta that. If you are friends with someone, good enough friends to have a spare key, and then start dating them, isn't there, like, an unwritten rule that you are exclusive or that if you're not, you let them know?

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Especially if one of those people has confessed their love previously? Idk with anyone I dated if they weren't the only person I was dating I let them know upfront just cause it seemed most fair. BUt maybe I'm old fashioned or something, idk.

These Reddit takes are sharp, but do they fully address the pain of losing a friend and lover? Was his reaction justified, or should he have clarified exclusivity first?

This man’s brief romance with his friend ended in betrayal, but his swift exit spared him further hurt. His story warns that love, especially amid wealth, demands clarity and trust—qualities his friend lacked. As he moves forward, how can he protect his heart while staying open to love? Share your advice or experiences below—what’s the best way to navigate romance when past rejections and new riches muddy the waters?

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