[Update] Am I in the wrong for telling my ex-husband that our kids are justified in feeling like they don’t have a father?

Family conflicts can be messy—especially in blended families where boundaries blur and emotions run high. In one recent update, a woman shares her perspective on a particularly heated incident involving her ex-husband, his stepson, and the ongoing fallout that leaves their children feeling abandoned. When a 15-year-old boy, already frustrated by being forced to babysit his younger siblings, lashed out by punching his stepfather, the ripples of the incident spread far beyond a single argument.

The fallout was swift and complex. With the boy now staying with his biological father and mounting child support issues complicating matters further, our storyteller found herself forced to confront a harsh truth: sometimes, our children’s feelings are completely justified. In a candid update, she explains why she told her ex that their kids’ feelings of not having a father aren’t misplaced—and why it might be time for adults to take responsibility for the chaos they’ve created.

‘[Update] Am I in the wrong for telling my ex-husband that our kids are justified in feeling like they don’t have a father?’

When parental figures fail to provide stability in blended families, the impact on children can be profound. Family therapist Dr. Rebecca Klein notes, “Children in stepfamilies are particularly sensitive to inconsistent boundaries and mixed messages. They need clear, respectful communication from all adults to build trust and feel secure.”

In this situation, the boy’s outburst—screaming that he wasn’t his stepfather and even resorting to violence—signals deeper wounds. Repeatedly, the children in this household have been caught in a tug-of-war over authority, leaving them to question who truly cares for their well-being.

Research on blended family dynamics shows that when authority is undermined by contradictory messages from multiple adults, children often internalize feelings of neglect and abandonment. Experts recommend that step-parents work in concert with biological parents to establish unified rules and consistent expectations.

This means acknowledging mistakes and taking responsibility rather than shifting blame onto external influences—like a biological parent turning the child against a step-parent. In our update, the emotional fallout and the boy’s justification for feeling fatherless illustrate why maintaining clear, respectful boundaries is not only important for parental authority but for the emotional health of the children involved.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s response to this update was swift and unyielding. One user exclaimed, “Even after a punch and all that chaos, it’s no wonder the kids feel abandoned. The parents need to sort their issues out first!” Another commenter humorously noted, “Who treats a 15-year-old like a built-in babysitter and expects him to just ‘go with the flow’?” Several users condemned the ex-husband’s refusal to accept responsibility, arguing that his actions—and lack of timely child support—are fueling the children’s feelings of neglect. Many agreed that the kids’ emotions are justified and that protecting their well-being should come first.

In the end, this update is about more than a single incident; it’s about the long-term impact of broken promises and inconsistent parenting on vulnerable children. By telling her ex-husband that their kids are justified in feeling like they don’t have a father, the update author is calling attention to a larger issue—a cry for accountability in a family system that’s failed its youngest members.

What do you think? Have you ever experienced a situation where children’s feelings were dismissed by the adults around them? How do you believe parents in blended families can build stronger, more unified support systems? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.