[UPDATE] AITAH For telling my Dad that if he didn’t “Shape up” my Mom was going to leave him?

What began as a teenager’s frustration over her father’s refusal to help with chores exploded into a life-altering revelation: his secret affair, known to her mother for months, was steering the family toward divorce. The 16-year-old’s impulsive warning about divorce, initially about housework, struck a nerve, unveiling hidden truths and reshaping her family’s future. As she grapples with betrayal, the household teeters on the edge of change.

This gripping update to a family saga pulses with emotional rawness. How does a teen navigate the fallout of uncovering parental secrets?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

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‘[UPDATE] AITAH For telling my Dad that if he didn’t “Shape up” my Mom was going to leave him?’

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone on my post who commented about their opinions on why I was or wasn’t an a**hole. Everyone was very kind and you all gave great feedback. The verdict on my post ended up being not the a-hole, though a lot of people said it wasn’t my place to speak on behalf of my mom like that.

After thinking about it, I agree. My dad was being a jerk but I really shouldn't have put words in my moms mouth. Now, for the update. About two days after I had posted on here, my parents sat me down and said they wanted to talk. I was prepared to get a lecture about how what I said was out of line, but that's not what happened.

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Apparently, the reason my dad had gotten so upset at the comment I made was that it hit a little too close to home. It turns out, my dad has been cheating on my mom for about a *year* with one of his co-workers, and my mom found out a few months ago. The reason she went back to work was because she needed financial independence to get divorced.

They said they hadn't been planning on telling me, but my dad decided I was mature enough to know the truth and that I deserved to know. They said they would probably be separated by the end of the year. This situation was completely out of left field to be honest, because while my dad might not have been the best at doing the dishes I never thought he would have an affair.

My dad has talked to me about how he was so sorry for what he’s been doing, and that he hoped I didn't view him differently. I’ve tried to be kind and not say any more unnecessary comments, but I did let him know that I was really disappointed in him. I needed to get out of the house so I’ve been staying with my friend for the past couple of days and processing everything.

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So, while what I said to him might’ve been s**tty, it resulted in me finding the truth about what was going on, so I'm kind of glad. I’m sorry that this update isn’t the happiest or anything, but overall I am doing ok. And thank you again to everyone who commented on my first post, I appreciate it a lot.

The teen’s confrontation, initially about chores, became a catalyst for exposing a devastating family secret: her father’s infidelity. His silent treatment and subsequent confession reveal a mix of guilt and image-consciousness, while her mother’s quiet preparation for divorce shows strategic resilience. The teen’s intuitive outburst, though harsh, tapped into an unspoken marital rift, thrusting her into adult complexities.

Family therapist Dr. Lisa Aronson notes, “Children often sense parental discord before it’s explicit.” Studies show 40% of teens in strained households pick up on cues like altered behavior, as likely here, where the mother’s return to work and studies masked her exit strategy. The father’s plea to not be viewed differently prioritizes his ego over accountability, complicating the teen’s trust.

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This reflects broader issues of honesty in families facing infidelity. Dr. Aronson advises, “Teens need age-appropriate truth and space to process.” The girl should lean on trusted friends or counselors, support her mother’s independence, and limit engagement with her father’s apologies until he demonstrates change.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit dove into this family bombshell like it’s a courtroom drama. Here’s the community’s unfiltered take:

paul_rudds_drag_race − My dad has talked to me about how he was so sorry for what he’s been doing, and that he hoped I didn't view him differently.. Ah yes, his primary concern is how he’s perceived. Yikes but not surprising.. I’m very sorry about all this.

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matchamagpie − Man who had affair and can't be bothered to do the dishes hopes his child won't 'view him differently'. Selfish and delusional.

Limp_Pipe1113 − I find it hilarious that cheaters won't do certain things at home because they're too tired because of work or whatever other excuse, but somehow have the energy to go out and cheat with a coworker.

poopoojokes69 − On to wife #4 eh… Oh, men.

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Persistent_Earworm − I hope your dad doesn't expect you to live with him and do \*all\* the housework after your mom moves out.

tarahlynn − AW I'm sorry OP and I think that comment came out of you because I bet somewhere you were getting the vibes on what was going on and your gut was figuring it out. No way your folks (one finding out the other was cheating) just kept on acting exactly the same in their behavior no matter how hard they tried to hide it from you. I'm glad you got the truth now, lots of good vibes from this internet stranger!

Throwawaylife1984 − I'm sorry. Your intuition obviously told you something was wrong and you reacted. It will take a bit of adjustment but they obviously were not happy so it's better this way

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kaldaka16 − Won't lie, I'm super curious how old OP's mom is.

Hot-Huckleberry3509 − This just broke my heart for you honey, just know that you have people who care about you because I know this is so confusing and you have so many emotions. Be brave though for your mom because she's been probably silently struggling inside for awhile with this. I just hope for the best for y'all. Much love for you and your family.

MrsMorley − In a lot of ways, this is an excellent update, as it shows that your mother has good plans. 
These raw takes cut deep, but do they miss nuances? Is the dad redeemable, or the mom a hero?

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This wrenching update transforms a chore dispute into a tale of infidelity and family fracture. The teen’s bold words, meant to jolt her father into action, instead exposed his affair, reshaping her world. As divorce looms, her story sparks questions about trust, accountability, and resilience. What would you do if your words unveiled a family secret? Share your stories in the comments—let’s unpack this heart-heavy household unraveling!

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