[UPDATE] AITAH for telling my cheating ex wife’s parents that i don’t give a f__k about her anymore and she is not my problem?

He just wanted clarity on his mom’s shocking take about his cheating ex-wife. But a kitchen conversation with his parents blew open a painful secret: his mom had cheated on his dad for the first two years of their marriage. The discussion turned into a fiery argument, with his dad demanding a divorce and his mom leaving the house in tears.

Now, his family is in pieces. His sisters have turned against their mom, his dad is grateful for his “eye-opening” honesty, but his mom blames him for the chaos. Was he wrong to spark this fallout, or did he just uncover a buried truth? This story has ignited fierce debates about honesty, loyalty, and family consequences.

‘[UPDATE] AITAH for telling my cheating ex wife’s parents that i don’t give a f__k about her anymore and she is not my problem?’

It all started when he questioned his mom’s odd response:

So when a few days ago my mother told me her opinion on the issue with my ex we were alone in the kitchen and my father wasn't there

but yesterday i had a talk with both of them about this cause you were right her response was off and it sounded like she had some issues with cheating...

A talk with his parents revealed a shocking secret:

So i had a talk with both of them and it turned out my mother used to cheat on my father with her ex for the first 2 years of...

But then her ex died in a tragic car accident with other people and they both agreed for couple's therapy and it seemed like they "sorted things out" but not...

His dad exploded when he learned of his mom’s views on cheating:

When my father knew about my mother's opinion he literally freaked out and yelled at her that she must be ashamed of her thoughts even because of her past as...

and because she knew how much hard work my father put in their marriage to not divorce her. My mother started "crying" crocodile tears and my father knows her enough...

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Tensions escalated, leading to a divorce demand:

The thing is that there was a lot of yelling and screaming and my father told her that if this are her thoughts he wanted divorce seriosuly this time.

He yelled at her to pack her stuff and to leave his house (the house of my parent's is my father's house legally) and after hours of crying, arguing and...

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The thing is that i never knew about all of this and neither my sisters that heard my father shouting and they run down to see what was going on...

Now, his mom blames him for the family’s collapse:

Now the situation is this: my father is "grateful" to me to finally "had opened my eyes", my sisters now hates my mother, my mother is blaming me for all...

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He was stunned to see his dad so furious for the first time:

I never saw or heard once my father yelling, shouting or being so angry at someone and yesterday was the first time i saw him in this way. My father...

and everyone always told me that he was the classic "sweet giant" and seeing him this mad and angry like yesterday is something i never even imaginated.. So thanks to...

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This story lays bare old wounds in a family, as the truth about OP’s mom’s past infidelity exploded. His question about her stance on his ex-wife’s cheating sparked a painful confrontation, leading to his dad’s divorce demand and a fractured family. OP’s guilt is understandable, but is he really to blame?

Family therapist Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, notes, “Uncovering family secrets can cause chaos, but it also opens the door to facing the truth” (Psychology Today). OP’s mom hid her lack of remorse for her past cheating, and her views on his ex-wife suggest she hasn’t truly changed. His dad’s rage reflects lingering pain from betrayal, unresolved despite years of couple’s therapy.

OP shouldn’t blame himself, though. He sought clarity on his mom’s opinion, and the fallout stems from her actions, not his. Her blaming him instead of owning her mistakes shows she’s dodging accountability. His dad, though furious, has the right to set boundaries when trust is broken again.

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Moving forward, OP should talk openly with his dad and sisters to mend family ties. He might consider reaching out to his mom to understand her perspective but keep a healthy distance to protect himself. Family therapy could help navigate these raw emotions. Above all, OP needs to see he didn’t cause this crisis—he just brought it to light.

See what others had to share with OP:

Many supported OP, saying he’s not at fault:

[Reddit User] - "None of that was your fault. Your mother did this to herself. Your father was trying to make it work (likely because of his kids), but to...

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She had it coming! Your father is thankful for you for revealing this disgusting behavior from your mom. His choice to divorce her is on him, not you. Your mom...

Worth-Mammoth2646 - "Classic behavior of a narcissist. everyone else is at fault but never them. OP everything you did was right and i think everything that happened is for the...

it’s so much harder for the one who got cheated then the one who cheated to pull things together again. She was staying with him because it was convenient and...

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Candid-Quail-9927 - "Not on you. Your mom is messed up and the fact she feels this way after all these years only speaks to her mentality as a cheater. I...

LadyIceis - "Holy crap OP, I am so sorry! This is not your fault. Please get therapy and find someone who will love and be faithful to you. NTA Updateme!"

DarrenC-6880 - "The fact that your mother is blaming you instead of asking for forgiveness from you all, shows what kind of person she really is. Your father made the...

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Basic_Ent - "thanks to your suspicions No, the situation was what it was, a powder keg. Don’t blame the match."

JuliaX1984 - "I love it when people blame others for their own choices and actions."

Some harshly criticized OP’s mom:

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BlueGreen_1956 - "Your mother and Mary were cut from the same cloth. The ho cloth."

The_Real_OP_xyz - "This is why ho’s make the worst mothers."

mustang19671967 - "Your mom is like the others. It’s always someone else’s fault , there is never consequences , it’s never the cheaters fault . I can’t tell You what...

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I think you block your mom and you and your dad are there for each other and include your sister as long as she doesn’t talk about your mom. Your...

Others questioned the story’s authenticity:

Euphoric_Map_6653 - "This is so fake."

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SnooFloofs9288 - "Yup. Totally believable that your mother cheated on your father for the first two years of the relationship then they worked through it and they spent how many...

and just now saw the light and miraculously the house actually belongs to him so your mother had to leave no matter what and your siblings totally hate her now...

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merkinryxz - "Anyone who believes this drivel is the a__hole here."

TemporaryBoring2671 - "Ok, the first post was believable. This is just some next level garbage."

The truth about OP’s mom’s past infidelity shattered his family, leading to his dad’s divorce demand and his sisters turning against their mom. While his dad thanked him for “opening his eyes,” his mom blames him for the chaos.

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But is he really responsible, or did he just uncover a painful truth? Can OP rebuild ties with his mom while supporting his dad and sisters? Should he carry the guilt for this fallout? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep this conversation going!

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