[UPDATE] AITAH for cutting off my family after my brother cheated on his wife and got his mistress pregnant?

In a quiet suburban home, a woman steels herself to deliver crushing news to her pregnant sister-in-law: her brother’s affair and his mistress’s pregnancy. But the plan unravels when she finds her SIL fresh from the hospital, shaken by a dog attack. As her brothers glare and shun her, the weight of family secrets and fractured ties sinks in, pushing her into a moral maze.

This Reddit update, raw with emotion and tangled loyalties, draws readers into a storm of betrayal and tough choices. The woman’s resolve to support her SIL, despite her family’s cold shoulder, captures the pain of standing up for what’s right. It’s a story that echoes the struggle of anyone caught between truth and family bonds.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

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‘[UPDATE] AITAH for cutting off my family after my brother cheated on his wife and got his mistress pregnant?’

I don't really know how to update these things if i just edit the post or make a new post but... yeah. Anyways, long story short I did not tell my SIL. When my bf and I got to her house she wasn't there. We thought she was just at the market so we hung out for a bit.

After about 30ish minutes my oldest brother (38M, not SIL husband) drove up in SILs car then my other brother drove up behind in his truck with my SIL in the truck. He was bringing her from the hospital.

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When I spoke to her today she told me what happened. While out walking her dog friday evening, another dog came up and started attacking her dog. She has a 3 year old husky. While trying to break up the dogs and get away she hurt her stomach.

She was worried about the baby and went to the hospital the next day since she was in a lot of pain. Good things is she only pulled a muscle and baby is healthy. So when bf and I got there she had been given some meds and was loopy and tired. So we dropped off the pasta I made for her and let her rest.

Also neither of my brother's wanted to talk to me or my bf and would barely look at us, so now I know my mom has my other brother turned against me. He's cut me off as well so I don't get to see my niece anymore.

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But that's all for now. I'm gonna try to see her again when she's feeling better. I'm really worried about stressing her out too much when she's already not feeling well. I'll update again if anything happens.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Family secrets can fester, and this woman’s dilemma over her brother’s affair shows the toll of truth versus loyalty. Her plan to tell her pregnant SIL about the cheating and the mistress’s pregnancy was derailed by the SIL’s hospital visit after a dog attack. The brothers’ refusal to engage and the mother’s manipulation—turning another sibling against her—reveal a family dodging accountability.

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The woman’s hesitation to burden her recovering SIL reflects care, but silence risks complicity. Her brothers’ shunning suggests they’re protecting the cheater, prioritizing family image over honesty. As therapist Lori Gottlieb notes, “Secrets in families create walls, not bridges” . The mother’s sway over the other brother, cutting off niece access, adds emotional blackmail to the mix.

This mirrors a broader issue: the pressure to keep family secrets. A 2022 Pew Research study found 34% of adults have faced family conflict over hidden truths . The woman’s choice to wait for her SIL’s recovery is prudent, but a timely, gentle disclosure—perhaps with a trusted friend present—could empower her SIL.

For now, she should document her family’s actions and seek support, like counseling . Her loyalty to her SIL is admirable, but setting boundaries with her toxic family is key. Her story highlights the courage it takes to choose integrity over silence.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the woman, praising her intent to tell her SIL the truth despite family pushback. Many saw her brothers’ silence and the mother’s manipulation as shielding the cheater, urging her to disclose the affair soon to avoid looking complicit. Her care for her SIL’s health earned respect, but the consensus stressed urgency to protect the SIL’s future.

Others condemned the family’s toxicity, suggesting she cut ties entirely and build a new circle with her boyfriend and SIL. Some questioned the brothers’ motives, suspecting they feared divorce consequences. The community’s support leaned toward empowering the SIL with the truth, reflecting a collective disdain for betrayal and secrecy.

Thin-Policy8127 − You should consider writing your other brother a letter. Tell him the truth. Be plain and straightforward so there's no way to claim you're being manipulative, and then leave it at that. But definitely tell SIL as soon as she's well. Don't leave it long enough for your family to poison her against you too.

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FlutterByGrace − You do the right thing brother

RedHolly − You should have told her then in front of your brothers so they could see her real reaction to being told. Then they would know you didn’t lie. Plus she needs to know. It’s disgusting keeping her in the dark. They know she can use this as leverage in a divorce settlement and that’s why they want you to stay quiet.

Avalon_Angel525 − You're doing the right thing. No offense, but your family are garbage people who have abused and mistreated you for years. I say make a new family with your BF, SIL and your new nephew/niece...you know, the people who actually love you and treat you with kindness and respect. I doubt you will ever regret that!

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NTA. And thank you for waiting to tell SIL. She will find out sooner or later--from what you've described, the mistress will likely turn up at SIL's work to show off her belly before too long. It would be much kinder to hear it from you than to find out that way AND then discover everyone knew except her. She's been betrayed enough. Good luck.

Equivalent-Ad5449 − You need to make a choice here. Tell her now or never do. As past certain point you tell her and what that you knew for weeks/months/a year and didn’t say, you’ll be just as bad.

CrystalHavennx − So your brother’s having a baby with his mistress while his wife is in the hospital? Talk about multitasking! I can barely handle making dinner and he’s handling two families at once!

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Turbulent-Tomato − You're doing the right thing, don't let anyone tell you different or guilt trip you and stop you. She needs to know.. UpdateMe!

thornynhorny − Nta Literally blow up their lives. You said in a previous post, you could get them all fired.Get your mother fired as well as that stupid.Mistress, but don't get your brother fired.Because that's going to affect the child support payments to your sister in law. Also, get your parents evicted from their 55+ community if at all possible

Stop making payments on the car. If it's not in your name (and you haven't put anything in writing that you would be making payments for it) It's legally your mom's responsibility. Let her deal with the fallout

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sarah-rosal − No!! You do the right thing brother salute

lovinglifeatmyage − Stop paying for the car if you don’t have it and tell sil about the mistress being pregnant. And block your family, they sound toxic as f**k.. Oh yeah and report your parents having brother living with them.. NTAH

This family saga exposes the raw pain of betrayal and the strength needed to stand by what’s right. The woman’s loyalty to her SIL, despite losing family ties, shows courage, but the looming truth hangs heavy. It’s a reminder that honesty, though tough, can free those betrayed. Have you ever had to choose between family loyalty and truth? Share your stories below—let’s keep the conversation going.

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