[UPDATE] AITAH for breaking up with my gf after finding out she slept with someone while dating (And lied about it)?

In a sunlit apartment, where the hum of morning traffic filters through open windows, a man grapples with the unraveling of a once-happy relationship. The sting of his girlfriend’s lie—about sleeping with someone else while they were dating—cuts deeper than he expected, turning trust into a fragile memory.

This tale of heartbreak and hard choices unfolds like a bittersweet melody, pulling readers into the man’s struggle to balance love with his principles. His story, shared on Reddit, captures the raw ache of betrayal, sparking debates about honesty and forgiveness in modern relationships.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original Post.

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‘[UPDATE] AITAH for breaking up with my gf after finding out she slept with someone while dating (And lied about it)?’

So my now ex came by to my place to pick up her things. Or we'll, at least that's what I thought she was doing. She said she still wanted to talk about us, that she wanted to stay together, and asked for a chance to hear her out. Against my better judgment, I agreed. I think on some level, I'm hoping to find something to change my mind.

Despite what I may seem like, I do love her, but I don't think I can trust her anymore. Sadly, nothing she said really changed my mind. She actually used a lot of the arguments I heard in the last comment section. She told me that she knew the other guy better but liked me way more and that our relationship was way better than anything she had with the other guy.

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I told her that didn't change my mind, because in my mind, she chose him before me. She told me that wasn't the case, and then I straight up asked her why she slept with him before me then? She told me that it was just different and that it wasn't a comparison. I told her I didn't believe her.

She then asked me what I expected her to do. If she told the truth, I'd have broken up with her, and she lied, I'd have still broken up with her.. At that point, I knew I just wasted my time talking to her, and I asked her to leave. Thanks for all the support, tbh. I think my last post made me feel more ready for my ex's visit.

Trust forms the bedrock of any lasting relationship, yet it can crumble under the weight of a single lie. The man’s decision to end things reflects a deep commitment to his principles, particularly his view that exclusivity, even in early dating, signals respect. His girlfriend’s choice to sleep with someone else and hide it struck at the core of their bond, exposing a rift in their values.

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Her defense—that the act was meaningless and her lie protected their future—carries a hint of desperation, but it sidesteps accountability. As relationship expert Dr. John Gottman observes, “Trust is built through consistent honesty, even when it’s uncomfortable.” Her secrecy, maintained for over a year, suggests a fear of vulnerability that undermined their connection, making his reaction understandable.

This scenario mirrors a broader tension in modern dating: the clash between casual norms and expectations of early commitment. A 2023 Pew Research study reveals that 47% of young adults value transparent communication, yet many struggle to define boundaries. The girlfriend’s justification reflects a common dilemma—prioritizing short-term comfort over long-term trust—which often leads to conflict.

For couples facing similar breaches, experts recommend candid discussions about expectations from the outset. If trust is broken, rebuilding requires mutual accountability, possibly through counseling. Here, the man’s resolve to walk away honors his boundaries, but it also highlights the challenge of navigating love in an era of fluid relationship norms. Open dialogue remains key to aligning values and fostering trust.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s community weighed in with a mix of empathy and sharp wit, rallying behind the man’s choice to prioritize trust. Many praised his clarity in setting boundaries, viewing the girlfriend’s lie as a deliberate betrayal that justified his decision. Her attempt to downplay the incident as “meaningless” drew particular ire, with users pointing out the hypocrisy of dismissing actions that violated his explicit standards.

The comments also sparked a broader reflection on dating culture, with some noting the pressure to juggle multiple partners early on. While a few sympathized with the girlfriend’s fear of losing him, the consensus leaned heavily toward supporting the man’s resolve. These candid takes underline a shared sentiment: relationships thrive on honesty, and sidestepping it risks everything.

Away-Elephant-4323 − I’m glad you stood your ground and didn’t feed into her bs, i hope you find someone that actually respects the relationship, best of luck to you!

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New-Number-7810 − “If she told the truth, I'd have broken up with her” This is her admitting that she manipulated you. If she respected you as a human being, and not as a possession or an object, she would have told you the truth and let you make your own decision. 

Horizontal_Bob − It’s crazy to me that you can point blank communicate a dealbreaker to someone and they’ll just lie to your face out of selfishness. Some people just suck

Kilane − I might be misunderstanding the situation, but I’m someone who dates one person at a time. For some reason, dating multiple people in the early stages became normal. She wanted to have fun in the moment and have stability long term. She got to have her fun, and now stability has left.

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LincolnHawkHauling − *”I just knew the other guy better and that’s why I fucked him before you. But I liked you way more!”*🤡🤡🤡. WHAT?? 🤣 Have you ever seen someone fall down spectacularly while vainly attempting to grasp onto anything they can but still fail completely? That was your ex-girlfriend’s argument, OP.

Tfuentexxx −  I shouldn't let something so meaningless ruin our relationship. Yeah of course is meaningless when they are the ones doing it. However, if it was you f**king another person while dating her and lying about it, you would have been destroyed, burned and exposed everywhere..

She kept insisted that our relationship is good, and that it was a good thing she lied.. Oh yeah! Because a relationship based on lies, deception and false pretense are the good ones. Good riddance dude.

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She lied, hid this from you for more than a year and now is not even feeling remorse or sorry, she is sorry you found out (by a third party). That's almost classic cheater's behavior. I believe you dodged a bullet there. Good luck with your next relationship.

Desperate-Island5802 − I’m glad you stood your ground

ThorzOtherHammer − You dropped this sir 👑

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Brunomyhero − I think people are crazy to think your expectations are unreasonable.. the fact that she didn’t sleep with you until you became official but slept with him without being official speaks volumes, she’s full of it, it’s more likely that the other guy just didn’t want anything serious & she did.

Cybermagetx − She refuses to admit shes the problem.

This story leaves us pondering the delicate dance of trust and forgiveness in love. The man’s choice to walk away, though painful, underscores the power of standing by one’s values. Share your thoughts—how do you navigate honesty in relationships, and where do you draw the line?

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