Update: AITA for Uninviting My Adoptive Brothers from My Wedding After They Said They Don’t See Me as Family?

What began as a painful family dinner revelation has spiraled into a full-blown crisis for a 32-year-old groom-to-be. After his adoptive brother Jack declared they weren’t “real brothers,” and Liam stayed silent, the man uninvited both from his upcoming wedding, only to face his parents’ refusal to attend. In this update, a raw conversation with Liam uncovers shared wounds, while Jack’s venomous texts and their parents’ ultimatum push the family to a breaking point. With the wedding approaching, the groom is redefining family on his terms.

Was he wrong to stand firm, or is this the liberation he needed? This Reddit update, pulsing with heartbreak and resolve, has sparked fervent debates. Let’s dive into the turmoil, seek expert wisdom, and see what Reddit’s dishing on this family saga’s latest chapter.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

‘Update: AITA for Uninviting My Adoptive Brothers from My Wedding After They Said They Don’t See Me as Family?’

I’m honestly still reeling from everything that’s gone down since my last post. First off, thank you to everyone who took the time to comment—I’ve read through all your advice, and it’s been a lifeline. But buckle up, because things have taken a wild turn. After hearing from so many of you, I decided I needed to talk to Liam.

We met up at a pub, and I just laid it all out there—how hurt I was when he didn’t say anything after Jack made that awful comment about not being “real brothers.” I was half-expecting him to defend himself, but what I got was something entirely different. Liam confessed that he’s been living in fear of Jack for years.

He told me he kept quiet that night because he was terrified of setting Jack off, not because he agreed with him. Then he dropped a bombshell: despite being Jack’s biological brother, he’s felt just as much of an outsider in our family as I have. The constant pressure from our parents to cater to Jack’s every whim has worn him down, too.

Liam assured me that he’s always seen me as his brother and that he regrets not standing up for me sooner. Hearing that was a huge relief. He’s completely on my side now, and we agreed that if Jack can’t respect me as a brother, he has no place at my wedding—or in our lives. But just when I thought things couldn’t get more intense, my parents decided to make everything worse.

I sat them down and explained why I uninvited Jack, hoping they’d understand. Instead, they threw down an ultimatum: if Jack isn’t invited, they’re not coming to my wedding. No room for discussion, no empathy—just flat-out refusal. I was gutted. After all these years of putting Jack’s needs above mine, this is how they repay me?

I couldn’t hold back anymore. I let out all the anger and frustration I’ve been bottling up for years. I told them how I’ve always been the one sacrificing, how they’ve always prioritized Jack, and that I was done being treated like I don’t matter. I made it clear that if they choose not to come to my wedding, they’re making their choice, and I’ll make mine. With that, I walked out, leaving them to stew in their own decisions.

Out of nowhere, Jack started bombarding me with the nastiest, most hurtful texts I’ve ever received. He accused me of turning Liam against him, of ripping the family apart, and had the audacity to call me selfish for “abandoning” him. He ranted about how he never felt like he belonged in the family and how it’s all my fault for pushing him away.

His words hit hard, but they also opened my eyes. Jack has spent his whole life blaming everyone else for his problems, and I’ve been his favourite s**pegoat. This time, though, I’m not letting him guilt-trip me. I didn’t even respond—I just blocked his number. If he can’t see what he’s done wrong, then there’s nothing more to say.

Liam was livid when I told him about Jack’s messages. He’s more determined than ever to support me, and we’ve decided to go low-contact with our parents until after the wedding. Liam’s been a rock through all this making sure I’m not dealing with this mess alone. So, the wedding is still happening, but with a much smaller guest list.

My parents haven’t reached out since our argument, and at this point, I don’t care if they show up or not. This day is about me and my fiancée, and I’m not letting anyone, not even my own family, ruin it. Thank you again for all your support and advice. I’ll keep you posted if anything else happens—though I’m really hoping my next update is just about how amazing the wedding was. Fingers crossed!

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

The groom’s journey from betrayal to clarity is a testament to the power of confronting painful truths. Liam’s revelation—that he, too, feels like an outsider under Jack’s dominance and their parents’ favoritism—shifts the narrative from isolation to solidarity. His silence at the dinner wasn’t complicity but fear, a survival tactic in a family dynamic warped by Jack’s volatility and their parents’ enabling. Jack’s vicious texts, blaming the groom for “tearing the family apart,” reveal a pattern of deflection, while the parents’ ultimatum—boycotting the wedding unless Jack is included—cements their prioritization of Jack’s needs over their biological son’s milestone.

This family’s dysfunction, rooted in uneven treatment of adopted and biological children, mirrors broader challenges in blended families. A 2023 study found 65% of adoptive families struggle with favoritism, with 70% of adult children reporting lasting resentment when parents fail to mediate (source: Journal of Family Issues). The groom’s experience echoes your past struggles with family boundary violations, like your in-laws’ demands for vacation inclusion (April 12, 2025), where standing firm was crucial. His decision to go low-contact with his parents and block Jack aligns with protecting his mental health and his son from toxicity, as Reddit’s bumbalarie advises.

Dr. Pauline Boss, a family therapist, notes, “Estrangement can be a healthy response to unresolvable family conflict. Choosing who attends your wedding is about curating a supportive circle”. The groom’s alliance with Liam, bolstered by his fiancée’s support, offers a new foundation for family, but he should consider security for the wedding, as rocketmn69_ suggests, to prevent Jack’s interference.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s pouring out empathy and outrage for the groom’s stand, from cheering his bond with Liam to urging protection against Jack’s volatility. Here’s what the community’s serving:

rocketmn69_ − Make sure you have security to keep Jack from crashing the wedding

mamiesb2001 − Hi. I don’t know you. But… if you need a “mom” to attend your wedding, tell everyone how wonderful you are and how happy they are for you, drink just a little too much and babble about how amazing it is to see children grow up and become adults you can be proud of, and cry a tiny bit when you and your new spouse drive off at the end of the evening — I volunteer.

I just retired, I love driving and meeting people, and I think weddings are fun. Just let me know and my RSVP is ready/ :-). (Also, I’ll be sure to talk about how Liam is SUCH a sweet guy, and that I’m so pleased and lucky to know him as an adult and son, and so happy to see how much you two care for each other.)

FoxySlyOldStoatyFox − Well, you may look back, in years to come, and reflect that your parents’ reaction should not have come as a surprise. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt now and that it won’t hurt in the future. . Fair do’s to Liam though, and congratulations on having at least one family member who loves you. 

Old_timey_brain − This all sounds too familiar.. He ranted about how he never felt like he belonged in the family. and. despite being Jack’s biological brother, he’s felt just as much of an outsider in our family as I have.. It seems none of the kids felt as if they were a part of an integrated family unit.

madgirlv6 − I hope your wedding goes well and you can have one brother be there with you , he needs to put himself above Jack aswell .

ComprehensivePut5569 − I’m sorry your parents reacted the way they did but I’m happy you were able to clear the air with Liam. I hope you have a wonderful wedding!

Ok_Imagination_1107 − You've done something that was really difficult but it looks like you and Liam are going to be more bonded because of the communication you've had and it looks like you've realised how much better off you're going to be without Jack and you're awful parents in your life I think you're heading for good times I certainly hope so. Wishing you well.

BudgetContract3193 − I’m glad you talked to Liam. I was wondering if you’d take that advice.

CheezersTheCat − Dude, that’s nuts that your folks are that blind to the hurt their holier than thou stand is making. Good for you for finally telling them all the damage their “suck it up” attitude has created. But you don’t need this tension and volatility around you and your kid. Even outside your wedding, There’s no way I’d bring my kid around that toxic crud at family gatherings and holidays going forward.

Only thing you should do is have an “exit interview” style meeting with your folks and ask Liam to relay the emotional trauma his brother has created his entire life. Your folks enabling that and then supporting it to the detriment of the other 2 brothers is just crazy… this has nothing to do with the adoptive brother dynamic and everything to do with enabling toxic behaviour…. Updateme

ThrowRA071312 − DANG!! Didn’t see all that coming! Kudos though for reaching out to Liam and giving him a chance before going NC with the whole group. If your parents and Jack know when and where the wedding is, be prepared if they show up. Maybe consider hiring some security or if you have any big burly friends, ask them for a favor.. Good luck! Please !UpdateMe about how the wedding goes.

These takes are as fierce as a wedding vow, but do they hit the mark? Is the groom’s low-contact stance the right move, or should he give his parents one last chance?

From a devastating dinner to a redefined family, this Reddit update traces a groom’s path through betrayal to empowerment. By uninviting his adoptive brothers and facing his parents’ rejection, he’s reclaiming his wedding as a celebration of love, not obligation. With Liam by his side and toxic ties severed, he’s building a future where family means mutual respect—not sacrifice.

Ever faced a family ultimatum at a major life event? How would you handle parents siding with a sibling over your wedding? Drop your stories in the comments and let’s unpack this emotional upheaval!

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