[UPDATE 2] I [21F] suspect that I may be my boyfriend [29M] of two years’ side chick.

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Under the dim flicker of a streetlamp, a 21-year-old woman stood outside a duplex 45 kilometers from home, her heart pounding with resolve. She’d uncovered her boyfriend Tim’s double life—living with Stephanie while weaving dreams of a future with her. Now, with a meticulously crafted letter in hand, she was ready to expose his lies and reclaim her dignity.

This second chapter isn’t just about heartbreak; it’s about a young woman’s courage to act decisively, choosing truth over manipulation. As she navigates loneliness and seeks therapy, her story asks: how do you heal when love was a lie? Her bold steps spark hope amidst the ashes of betrayal.

For those who want to read the previous part:  update 1

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‘[UPDATE 2] I [21F] suspect that I may be my boyfriend [29M] of two years’ side chick.’

Again, I'd like to start off this post with a thank you to everyone who responded with constructive and helpful advice. I read every comment, reply, and PM. So, I took your advice and did not try to have a conversation with Tim. I realized that since he was so successfully able to manipulate me for two years, having one last conversation with him was bound to end up with me doubting my findings and perhaps my sanity.

I wrote Stephanie a three page letter, detailing the relationship that Tim and I have had over the past two years. Making clear that it was serious and not just a fling. I mentioned dates and events that most people would not have known about, and I included the intricate lies and back story that he had told me.

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I included a list of dates from the last 2 months that he spent the night with me and encouraged her to cross check them with nights that he wasn't at home. I printed out a few photos of us as a quick visible proof, and I included the rest of the photos on a usb stick in the letter. The stick also contained screenshots of any particularly incriminating conversations that we've had over the last few months.

I scanned postcards that he had sent me from various vacations and included those as well. For safe measure, I also included a copy of the letter, in case the hard copy went somehow mysteriously missing. I gave her my email address and phone number and asked her to contact me if she wanted to. On Wednesday night, I had someone drive me to where she lives.

If Tim was there, I would just have confirmations that he actually lives there and we'd leave. If he wasn't there, I'd ring the doorbell and hand her the letter personally. We drove the 45 km and Tim was sitting there in the living room on his laptop. It was obvious he lived there. She was nowhere to be seen. His and her names were on the mailbox.

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I called to see if he'd pick up and he ignored the call. We headed back home. On Thursday morning, I mailed the letter. I ensured that it was registered post. In order to receive the letter she'd have to show her ID and sign for it. On Friday the letter arrived. She was not home, so she received a notification to go pick the letter up at the post office.

On Saturday morning she picked it up and I got an email of the receipt with her signature on it. Throughout all of this, I conversed normally with Tim and made excuses as to why he couldn't come over during the week, so as to not tip him off to anything. He stopped talking to me about 20 minutes after she picked up the letter Saturday morning, and I have not heard from him since.

He has, however, defriended me and my family on Facebook. I have not heard from Stephanie either. So, now it's really over. I hope with my whole heart that he was not able to lie and manipulate his way out of the situation with her, but I will probably never know. I do not expect to hear from him again.

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I feel very lonely, taken advantage of, and beaten down. I am going to do my best to try to come out of this situation without trust issues and without being cynical and jaded. I am seeking therapy to make sure I don't slip into depression. For now, I need to find ways to distract myself and fill up any free time. Thanks again for all your help, /r/relationships.

This really sucks, but I'll get through it and hopefully be a stronger person for it. **tl;dr** Sent Stephanie the letter. Haven't heard from Tim since she received it. He defriended me on facebook. Don't expect to know any of the outcome or ever hear from him again. **quick edit** I forgot to mention that I'm going to go get tested on Tuesday to be safe. Obviously if anything comes out of that, I'll do my best to notify both of them.

Tim’s betrayal—stringing along two women with lies—left this young woman shattered but not defeated. Her choice to send Stephanie a detailed letter, bypassing a confrontation with Tim, shows remarkable clarity. By cutting contact and ensuring Stephanie received undeniable evidence, she protected herself from further manipulation while empowering another woman with the truth.

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This reflects a broader issue: infidelity thrives in secrecy, but exposure can break its grip. Research suggests 60% of cheated-on partners value transparency from the “other” party, fostering closure. The woman’s strategic use of registered post ensured Stephanie couldn’t ignore the truth, a move both ethical and empowering.

Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, an infidelity expert, notes, “Healing begins when the betrayed reclaim their narrative.” This woman’s actions—ghosting Tim, seeking therapy—embody that principle. She’s prioritizing self-care, journaling, and testing for health risks, showing foresight. To move forward, she could lean on friends, explore hobbies, or join support groups to rebuild trust.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit rallied with fierce support, praising her dignity and urging her to focus on healing. Here’s what the community said:

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Kateraide − You did the right thing. The right thing is not always easy and it does not always feel good.

PenguinEmpireRedux − Remember: You're the one who walked away from this on your terms with your dignity and honor intact. You'll be able to look back at this entire episode with self-admiration.

[Reddit User] − Don't worry about what's going on in his screwed up life. Focus on your future and becoming the best version of yourself you can be.

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[Reddit User] − I'm sorry you won't get proper closure from all of this craziness, but you did the right thing cutting contact with him and letting Stephanie know what kind of person he really is. Hopefully, she'll take your information to heart.

Whynot79 − Amazing, that through your sadness, anger and grief from the realization that Tim is a liar, you were clear headed enough to end things on your terms, your way. You were able to organize your thoughts and out into motion a plan that allowed for Tim to be 100 percent clear that you are not to be taken for a fool.

Who knows what Stephanie will do with this information, but you gave her everything she needed to end things. In the end, you acted with grace and dignity and you kept your integrity. You should definitely be proud of yourself!

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Waitingforadragon − He has behaved like a c**ard. I can't believe he deleted you and blocked you off everything and didn't even have the balls to say sorry at least. Congratulations on how you have dealt with this situation. I know it's easier said than done but try to mentally let go of what is going on with the other women. You've done your duty as regards her wellbeing, it's time to take care of yourself now.

awildwoodsmanappears − Good for you and best wishes for the future.

[Reddit User] − Don't feel bad for mourning the relationship you thought you had with the man you thought he was. It was real for you, and it's ok to miss it. He was a liar and a manipulator, but that doesn't mean the love you felt was any less real. Your heart is broken and that's ok. At every point in this, you did the right thing.

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[Reddit User] − You did an awesome thing for Stephanie and yourself. Good luck in future relationships!

pacachan − The same thing happened to me, but only for about a year. I told her everything and she was just defeated, because they had a child together. They're still together to this day and have another child, last I heard. You can't do more than you already have OP, I wouldn't think about him anymore and whatever she does is her choice. Good luck with therapy.
These Reddit cheers are heartfelt, but do they capture the full weight of her journey? Is ghosting enough, or should she seek closure another way?

This woman’s bold stand—exposing Tim’s lies and walking away—transforms heartbreak into empowerment. Yet, the silence from Tim and Stephanie leaves her lonely, seeking therapy to mend her trust. How do you rebuild after a manipulator’s web unravels? Would you have sent that letter, or chosen silence? Share your thoughts below—have you ever had to expose a painful truth, or supported someone through betrayal’s sting?

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