[UPDATE 2] AITAH for cutting off my family after my brother cheated on his wife and got his mistress pregnant?

Picture a tense visit to a sister-in-law’s home, where a woman braces to reveal her brother’s devastating betrayal: he cheated, and his mistress is pregnant. But the bombshell lands differently—her SIL already knows, having spotted the mistress’s car at their mother’s house. What follows is a whirlwind of family harassment, workplace drama, and a bold plan to start fresh elsewhere.

This Reddit saga, buzzing with raw emotion and tough choices, pulls readers into a storm of loyalty, betrayal, and resilience. The woman’s decision to support her SIL, cut off her toxic family, and elope out of state captures the struggle of breaking free from chaos. It’s a story that resonates with anyone who’s had to redraw family lines for their own peace.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, [UPDATE]

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‘[UPDATE 2] AITAH for cutting off my family after my brother cheated on his wife and got his mistress pregnant?’

Oooooohhhhh boy! I know you guys have been bugging for an update but it's been absolutely insane. I'm at a total loss as to what to do now. So, long story short, my SIL found out before I told her. I knew my i**ot brother was out on dates with his mistress out in the open but I didn't realize where exactly.

This moron was out with his mistress in the SAME town my SILs sister lives in with her husband and kids. They saw this moron out with her and told my SIL. Of course I didn't know about any of this when it happened. I found out when I went over to visit her last week.. It went simply like this:

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Me: I'm gonna be blunt and I need you to not freak out until I'm done. You can scream and cry and all that I will be here to listen but we gotta get your ducks in a row before you retaliate. [Mistress] is pregnant. From what I know you guys are like 4 weeks apart.. SIL: I know, my sister told me.

Guys, this woman went to my mother's house and saw the mistress's car there and knew everything from that point forward. I wondered why she was so quiet for a couple days after her hospital visit and it was because she got into a fight with my family and told them none of them would be seeing her baby.

They are uninvited to the baby shower, no more doctors appointments with my brother, etc. She was an absolute boss. And of course my brother blamed me. Even after my SIL told him it was her own family that saw them out and noticed the pregnant mistress. So I got harassed by my mother over email.

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I didn't bother responding except to tell her that if she contacted me again she would be hearing from a lawyer. My SIL is going full scorched earth and I love it. I'm helping her find a good lawyer while researching laws in our state regarding custody and separation of assets and stuff.

It's a lot to read and sometimes hard to understand but it's been enlightening to say the least. We also reported my brother's conduct and my mother's harassment to their respective HR departments. So far it doesn't look like anything has been done.

I couldn't get into contact with my mother's landlord either since they use a property management company so I sent the property managers an email. I haven't heard back from that so far. Unfortunately for me though, my job was put in danger. I have been on stress leave because of this whole fiasco and I got a call from my admin HR.

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According to them, my mother issued a complaint about me. I had to forward the emails and screenshots of the texts I was getting to keep my job. So I will also be going to see a lawyer next week to send my family cease and desist notices.

And as much as I love my SIL I know that as long as I stay close to her my family will continue to come after me so my boyfriend and I have decided to leave state. I will continue to have contact with her and she has already promised to fly out and visit us regularly but she will be kept at arms length for the most part.

I feel like I'm abandoning her but my mental health is taking a huge toll from all of the drama. So far the plan is to take a roadtrip to our state of choice this September if we can afford it and do some pre-emptive apartment shopping with our dog. Then hopefully we will be moving next year in the summer.

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We're gonna sell all of our stuff and take only what we can fit in our car. We're also eloping this summer so that takes away a lot of stress too since I'm not wedding planning anymore. SIL will be our only witness.

Anyways, thanks for sticking around and I hope you guys have a good life ahead of you all. Thanks to so many of you for reaching out with advice and well wishes. I appreciate you all. This will most likely be my last update unless something crazy happens.

Family ties can snap under the weight of betrayal, and this woman’s story shows the fallout of her brother’s cheating. Her SIL’s discovery of the affair—via her own family spotting the pregnant mistress—sparked a fierce response, cutting the brother and his family off from her baby’s life. The woman’s choice to side with her SIL, despite harassment from her mother and brother, reflects a commitment to integrity over toxic loyalty.

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The brother’s blame and mother’s emails reveal a family deflecting guilt rather than owning it. The woman’s decision to involve HR and report her mother’s harassment to the property manager shows a strategic push for boundaries, though it stirred workplace drama. As psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman notes, “Estrangement often stems from unaddressed betrayals” . The mother’s complaint to the woman’s HR suggests retaliation, escalating the conflict.

This mirrors a broader trend: family estrangement is rising. A 2021 study by the American Sociological Association found 27% of adults have cut off family members . The woman’s plan to move and elope is a bid for mental health, but distancing her SIL, while pragmatic, risks guilt. Maintaining contact through visits, as planned, can balance support with self-care.

For now, legal steps like cease-and-desist notices are wise. Consulting a lawyer, as she intends, and using resources like Nolo can solidify her boundaries. Her story underscores the power of choosing peace over chaos, even when family fights back.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s community cheered the woman’s resolve, praising her support for her SIL and her escape from a toxic family. Many saw the brother’s blame and mother’s harassment as attempts to dodge accountability, with some questioning why the family defended a cheater. The SIL’s “scorched earth” approach—banning the family from her baby’s life—earned admiration for its strength.

Others debated the HR and property manager reports, with some calling it overreach, while most supported her protecting her job and mental health. The consensus backed her move out of state and elopement, viewing it as a fresh start. The community urged her to stay vigilant and prioritize her well-being, reflecting empathy for her tangled situation.

Daymub − Why does your family care so much. It doesn't make any sense.

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style-addict − So you moved out of state but what about your job? 🤔🤔🤔🤔 also why are you getting your family’s management office and work HR involved? 🥴🤔

cinnamon_daydream − Okay, this might be long, sorry. OP, this sounds eerily similar to what I'm going through, but mine started a few years ago. I am your SIL in my story. My ex-husband and I were trying for a second baby.

We hit a rough patch that needed way more than just patching over the broken pieces so we hit pause on all things baby related and resumed birth control. We started counseling and things dramatically improved. We reduced the number of sessions needed and were actively solving things together.

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He blindsided me and left me for his affair partner on MOTHER'S DAY. I shattered. Hard. He got her pregnant 4 months after we split. I found out about it on my own and it broke me all over again. His behavior has been appalling and every time I think he can't go any lower, he proves me wrong.

My ex, myself, and his sister work[ed] together on the same team. My ex and SIL are low contact with each other and she is no contact with the rest of her family. She has been my absolute rock throughout this entire thing. She is a beautiful soul. We were not close to each other while I was married, but she is literally one of my best friends now.

I lost a husband, but I absolutely gained a sister. As someone who has been in your SIL shoes, thank you for stepping up and supporting her. I don't know what I would have done without my SIL.

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I put a lot of work into healing the wounds he caused and is continuing to cause. I am now in a loving relationship and we are building a life together.. Please remind your SIL there is a light at the end of the tunnel. *Hugs*

LeagueObvious1747 − UpdateMe

Elegant-Opinion-9595 − So the mom is ok that her son is a cheating AH? That's wild

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VegetableBusiness897 − I can't figure out how all these people have work affected by their personal lives, I'm old AF and have never seen it happen... NDS disclosed in a team workshop, teacher marries a student when they graduated HS at 18, person called in to work even though they said they were to drunk to work.

DoTwilightAuraxx − Cutting off toxic family members is basically adulting 101, but it sounds like you're getting an A+ with honors! Now go live your best life away from all that craziness!

prevknamy − What country do you live in that it’s acceptable to report personal family issues to a person’s work place? That’s so inappropriate I can’t even get my head around it.

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xXMimixX2 − Just in case — Updateme. Otherwise, I wish you and SIL all the best, and it's unfortunate sometimes. But no one could predict that, and at least you found out whom you can count on. The same goes for SIL.

Chloe_Phyll − Fake.

This cheating scandal reveals the cost of family loyalty when betrayal runs deep. The woman’s support for her SIL and bold exit from toxicity show courage, but the harassment and job threats highlight the price of standing firm. It’s a reminder that sometimes, cutting ties is the only path to peace. Have you ever had to distance yourself from family drama? Share your experiences below—let’s keep the conversation alive.

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