The 50/50 rule??? My 24F boyfriend 26M says he won’t get me flowers?

Picture a cozy coffee shop, the scent of espresso mingling with the soft hum of chatter. A 24-year-old woman, her eyes sparkling with hope, leans across the table, venting to a friend about her boyfriend of two years. She loves him dearly, but a recent spat has her reeling: when she hinted she’d love flowers, he shot back, “When’s the last time you got me flowers? I believe in 50/50, that’s it.” Her heart sank—every date feels like her idea, often split down the middle, and now this.

This isn’t just about petals; it’s a window into a deeper clash of love languages. She craves spontaneous gestures, while he’s keeping score, demanding equal effort. Their argument, now a Reddit sensation, has her questioning if she’s asking too much or if his “50/50 rule” is a red flag. As she sips her latte, the weight of their future hangs in the balance, stirring a mix of frustration and longing.

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‘The 50/50 rule??? My 24F boyfriend 26M says he won’t get me flowers?’

Hi! (First time poster here!) I wanted to come to Reddit to gather some opinions or thoughts on this matter. My 24F boyfriend 26M of 2 years and I recently got into an argument.

I asked him why he doesn’t buy me flowers (insinuating that I want more than just the bare minimum) and his response to me was “well when’s the last time you got me flowers… I believe in 50/50 that’s it”….

Lol y’all I have got him flowers (annoyed with myself about it) honestly I can’t think of a time we’ve went on a date that wasn’t my idea AND that I didn’t have to “go 50/50” for. Is this real life? Am I bugging? Please tell me.

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Update: thanks so much for all of these comments, I didn’t know this would get so much traction. We had a conversation. He apologized (and so did I- for my delivery). He says that he values and loves me very much and wants to do things he knows will make me happy. We’ll see y’all.. THANK YOUUU❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.

Relationships thrive on mutual care, but this couple’s flower feud reveals a thorny issue: transactional love. The 24-year-old woman yearns for spontaneous gestures, like flowers, to feel cherished. Her boyfriend’s “50/50 rule,” demanding equal reciprocation, turns romance into a ledger, leaving her feeling unvalued. His apology after their talk shows promise, but his rigid stance raises questions about emotional generosity.

This dynamic reflects broader trends in modern relationships. A 2023 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 62% of young couples struggle with mismatched expectations around emotional labor. The boyfriend’s scorekeeping may stem from a fear of being taken advantage of, but it risks alienating his partner.

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Relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, notes, “Love is a choice to meet another’s needs, not a transaction”. Chapman’s insight suggests the boyfriend’s approach misses the mark—gestures like flowers aren’t about fairness but expressing care in her language. His defensiveness, possibly triggered by how she raised the issue, hints at deeper communication gaps.

To move forward, the couple should openly discuss their love languages—hers likely “gifts” or “acts of service,” his possibly “quality time” or “words.” Couples counseling could help them navigate expectations without scorecards. The woman might model generosity, planning a low-cost date he enjoys, to inspire reciprocity. The situation underscores the need for selfless love over rigid fairness in building a lasting bond.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit lit up like a bouquet with fiery takes on this couple’s clash. The community largely slams the boyfriend’s “50/50 rule” as transactional and unloving, urging the woman to reconsider the relationship. Many see his refusal to buy flowers—while expecting her to initiate and split costs—as a sign of emotional stinginess.

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Commenters stress that true love doesn’t keep score, with some bluntly advising her to “dump him” for someone who freely shows affection. These Reddit reactions highlight a collective call for genuine, uncalculated love, questioning the boyfriend’s commitment to her happiness.

If_Fate_Be_Kind − Do you want to be in a relationship where you have to keep dates and times of every expression of affection in order to earn affection in return?. This sounds supremely unhealthy. I suggest breaking up.

worthlessbaffoon − Honestly he might as well have said 'I'm only going to show you love if you show me love first.' I'm a 25M and my fiancé is a 24F. When she told me she felt like she was always the one planning the dates and she wanted me to plan one, I did.

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And I have planned regular dates since that conversation. If you love someone, it is so *NOT DIFFICULT* to show them that you care and that you love them.. D**p him.

javukasin − D**p him. You don’t want to be with someone who views romantic gestures through a transactional lens.

BriefHorror − You want to be treated in a certain way and are willing to reciprocate and he said 'No I won't do that'. The relationship is over. There is nothing else to be said or done.

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boricuaspidey − You’re with a man who wants to be chased and will not reciprocate. It will become a way larger problem than just flowers.

Lavenderlesbo − Relationships are not transactional!!!!

Slight_Drama_Llama − Personally I’m in a relationship where my partner does little things like buy me flowers just because. And I do similar things for him just because. Nobody is keeping score.

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The way your bf is keeping score and refuses to be sweet just because - unless you’re sweet first - is a bit alarming.. I’m pretty sure you can do better. Being alone would be doing better. You can get yourself flowers.

shame-the-devil − You know how I know your bf is full of s**t on the 50/50 rule? Bc I bet he doesn’t believe in 50/50 o**asms. Break up with his cheap ass.

isitallfromchina − You mean EX right. Do you think he's into you ? does not seem like he's much in the area of romancing!

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Minimum-Fox − Honestly, when it comes to actually loving and caring for someone you tend you do things without keeping track or tabs on who did what when. This is because there are thousands of little thoughtful things we all do for one another when we love each other, it's only really the big things that stand out in memory as a clear example of who did what.

I would take a moment to think about what *you* want in a relationship. Do you want one that is 50/50? Both planning, both paying, both treating each other, possibly even a tit for tat relationship (not always bad as this can just be **super** fair). Or do you want a relationship where the labour is split differently?

For example, do you want him provide the financial and planning labour, and you provide the nurturing and physical labours? OR do you simply want a relationship where you each just care about each other and think of each other and play it by ear?

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I can't criticise your bf at this point because I don't know how you asked about the flowers but I do know that if it was done in an accusatory way on the back of something else, then most people would get defensive and petty as he has.

Like I said, discover what it is that you like in a relationship dynamic and communicate that with your bf - if he isn't open to that then either leave him and find someone who is or you learn to deal with the way he wants things.

This young woman’s story is a vibrant reminder that love shouldn’t feel like a balance sheet. Her boyfriend’s “50/50 rule,” while rooted in fairness, dims the spark of spontaneous care she craves, leaving her to question their bond. His apology offers hope, but real change means embracing her needs without a tally.

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As they navigate this, their story invites reflection on what makes love bloom. Readers are encouraged to share their tales of balancing give-and-take in relationships.

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