AITA for knitting a sweater while watching a movie with my in-laws?

Family gatherings, while often filled with warmth and connection, can sometimes present unexpected social dilemmas. For one avid knitter, a relaxing movie night with her in-laws turned into a surprisingly tense encounter over her chosen pastime. What seemed like a harmless way to keep her hands busy during the film became the subject of disapproval from her mother-in-law, leaving her questioning whether she had unknowingly committed a social faux pas.

In a world where multitasking is often praised, are there still unspoken rules about engaging in hobbies during shared activities like movie watching? And when does a personal preference cross the line into perceived rudeness within a family setting? This Reddit story unravels a cozy cabin movie night that took an unexpected turn, prompting us to consider the nuances of etiquette and personal space in familial interactions.

‘AITA for knitting a sweater while watching a movie with my in-laws?’

The situation described by the OP highlights a common tension between individual needs and group expectations during shared leisure time. The OP, an experienced knitter engaged in a simple project, found a way to comfortably participate in the movie night while also pursuing her hobby. Her choice of a straightforward knitting pattern suggests an intention to remain engaged with the film, as she states she doesn’t need to look at her needles for basic stockinette.

The mother-in-law’s annoyance and accusation of rudeness seem to stem from a perception that the OP was being antisocial or disengaged from the group activity. This reaction could be rooted in a belief that shared movie watching should be a focused, undivided experience for everyone present. However, as many people find, engaging in a quiet, repetitive activity like knitting can actually enhance focus and reduce restlessness, allowing for better overall engagement.

As Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT and author of Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, notes in her research on technology and social interaction, “We expect more from technology and less from each other.” While Turkle’s work focuses on digital devices, the underlying principle can be applied here. The mother-in-law might perceive the knitting as a form of distraction or a barrier to genuine connection, even though the OP reports watching the movie.

The husband’s reaction, advising his wife to ignore his mother and labeling her as “controlling,” suggests a pre-existing dynamic within the family. It’s possible that the mother-in-law has a tendency to impose her expectations on others. In this context, the OP’s knitting might have been perceived as a deviation from her preferred way of how family members should interact during shared activities.

Ultimately, whether knitting during a movie is considered rude is subjective and depends on cultural norms and individual preferences. In this case, as long as the knitting was quiet and did not obstruct anyone’s view or enjoyment of the movie, the mother-in-law’s reaction seems disproportionate. A more constructive approach would have been to express her curiosity or feelings in a less accusatory manner, perhaps asking the OP about her knitting rather than immediately assuming rudeness.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit knitting circle has spoken, and the overwhelming verdict is that the OP is definitely “NTA” (Not the A**hole). Many commenters who also engage in yarn crafts like knitting and crocheting chimed in to express their understanding, stating that these activities often help them focus better during passive activities like watching movies. Some even joked about needing to keep their hands busy to avoid snacking excessively.

The key point raised by many is that the OP was quiet, not disruptive, and was still present and watching the movie. The mother-in-law’s reaction is largely seen as controlling and unreasonable, with several users echoing the husband’s advice to simply ignore her. A few commenters did raise a valid point about potential noise from the knitting needles, but the OP’s description of using circular needles for stockinette suggests the noise level would likely be minimal

This cozy cabin conundrum highlights the diverse ways individuals engage in shared activities and the potential for misunderstandings when personal habits clash with others’ expectations. While the mother-in-law perceived the knitting as rude and isolating, the OP experienced it as a way to remain present and engaged. This situation begs the question:

in informal family settings, how much flexibility should be allowed for individual preferences during group activities? Was the mother-in-law’s reaction an overreach, or is there an unspoken etiquette regarding hobbies during movie night? Share your thoughts and experiences on navigating personal pastimes within family gatherings!