My partner 33M proposed to me 28F as a ‘joke’ in front of his friends?

In a dimly lit apartment, laughter fills the air as friends swap stories over drinks. For a 28-year-old woman, the night feels perfect—until her partner of five years drops to one knee with a ring and a speech that steals her breath. Tears of joy spill, only to turn to ashes when he laughs, revealing a plastic vending-machine ring and a gut-punch: “Relax, babe, it’s just a joke.” Humiliated before his chuckling friends, she’s left questioning their future.

This Reddit tale of betrayal and heartbreak captures the sting of a prank gone too far. Her partner’s dismissal of her pain—calling her “too sensitive”—only deepens the wound. Let’s unravel her story, dive into expert insights, and see how the Reddit community reacts to this emotional ambush.

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‘My partner 33M proposed to me 28F as a ‘joke’ in front of his friends?’

My partner 33M and I 28F have been together for almost 5 years. We live together and I thought we were on the same page about our future. We were hosting a small get together last night with some of his friends at our apartment. The night was going great. Towards the end of it everyone started talking about relationships and marriage.

His friends have been pushing him to propose for a while. So it wasn’t a surprise when the topic came up. Out of nowhere. My partner gets down on one knee and pulls out this ring. He started this whole speech about how much he loves me and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

I was in shock and started crying tears of joy. This is something I’ve been dreaming about for a while now. just as I'm about to say yes. He bursts out laughing and says 'relax babe. It's just a joke' His friends were laughing and I was just standing there completely shattered. He handed me this plastic ring.

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The kind you get out of a vending machine. I tried to play it off and laugh too but inside I was dying. I felt so humiliated and hurt. After everyone left. I confronted him about it. He said I was being too sensitive and that it was just a bit of fun. But it wasn't. I've always been serious about our future and this felt like he was mocking my feelings and our relationship.

He knows how much I care about this and he made it into a joke. The thing is he didn’t seem to understand why I was upset. He kept saying it was just a joke and I should lighten up. I love him but this has really shaken me. How do I even start to explain to him how deeply this hurt me.

Has anyone else been through something like this. Breaking up over a joke after 5 years together feels wrong to me but I feel so hurt righ now. Edit: I know what a prank is. He called it a joke and I'm describing everything just as it happened.

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A proposal, even a fake one, is no laughing matter when it toys with someone’s deepest hopes. This woman’s devastation stems from more than a prank—it’s the betrayal of trust and respect in a five-year relationship. Her partner’s refusal to acknowledge her pain, dismissing it as oversensitivity, signals a troubling lack of empathy.

Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor on vulnerability, notes, “Empathy is the antidote to shame. When we dismiss someone’s pain, we erode trust” .

The broader issue is the normalization of cruel pranks in relationships, often masked as “just a joke.” This incident reflects a power imbalance, where one partner’s amusement comes at the other’s expense. To move forward, she could calmly explain how the prank violated her trust, using “I feel” statements to avoid defensiveness. If he remains dismissive, individual therapy might help her assess the relationship’s viability.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, delivering a chorus of outrage and empathy for this heartbroken woman. From calling the prank outright cruel to urging her to reconsider the relationship, their comments are a fiery mix of support and tough love. Here’s what they had to say.

-Fusselrolle- − How do I even start to explain to him how deeply this hurt me.. You did. He didn't care. I wouldn't want to be the punchline in someones life.

Amar_Akbar_Anthony20 − What is funny about this? He absolutely knew what he was doing.

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[Reddit User] − You love him, but he doesn't love you. Love requires respect and he has none for you if he could do such a cruel thing. A fake proposal is not a joke, it's an intentional humiliation. He was laughing AT you with his friends.

You won't get him to feel remorse for how hurtful this was because hurting and embarrassing you was the point. I would take this as your sign to move on. This man will never marry you and thank god for that because a life with such a cruel person sounds miserable.

Coolmathgames336 − Your partner is an a**hole who doesn’t care about your feelings. If he did he’d feel remorse for the joke like a normal human. You’re allowed to not like his joke.

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emt139 −  Breaking up over a joke after 5 years together feels wrong to me. I don’t think you’d be breaking up over a joke. You’d be breaking up over a cruel, humiliating partner that has absolutely no empathy and does not see a future with you. 

dalttyx − A joke to me would be getting down on one knee, and then tying his shoelace or picking something up. To have a ring, and then spout about his feelings to you feels like pre meditated humiliation especially doing it in front of his friends. I totally agree it seems like a lot to end a five year relationship over, but it really shows his dedication to the relationship isn’t as much as you’d hoped.

maroongrad − It's not a joke. It's his way of telling you not to expect a ring. He's too old to pull this crap. I was expecting to see an age of 21 or 22 but 33? He's a lost cause. An equivalent on YOUR end would be to show him a positive pregnancy test and be so happy and excited about it and get him thinking about being a dad and everything and then hahaha, joking!

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And do it in front of your female friends too.. Not funny, is it? Nor was his 'prank'. He is a full decade too old to be this emotionally stupid. Are you prepared to live the rest of your life with a child you cannot emotionally trust? It's been FIVE YEARS. That should have been an actual ring. Don't waste another five years. Any ring you get now will be a 'shut her up' ring.

You have time to find someone else and start a family, this guy...wow. This guy, who broke your heart and embarrassed you in front of his friends and isn't falling all over himself apologizing for hurting you so badly, even on accident? He's not marriage material. He'll be divorce material within the year if you make that mistake.. I'm so sorry he sucked away 5 years of your life. He's made his position plain.

frandiam − Wow. This is really abusive and callous behavior. He knew it would hurt and humiliate you, and he did it to keep you in your place.. I would leave because this was not “just a joke.” It was cruel. He showed his true colors. At the very least seek some therapy (not couples) to get some personal insight into why you would ever think treating you like this is ok. He is not worthy of you.

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BlackStarBlues −  I confronted him about it. He said I was being too sensitive and that it was just a bit of fun. But it wasn't. I've always been serious about our future and this felt like he was mocking my feelings and our relationship.

He knows how much I care about this and he made it into a joke.. How do I even start to explain to him how deeply this hurt me.  Your boyfriend knows and does not care. He neither loves nor respects you. Make of that what you will and act accordingly.

Choice-Intention-926 − Wow, this was so cruel and heartbreaking. The fact that it was premeditated was even worse.

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These Reddit hot takes cut deep, but do they capture the full weight of her pain? Is this a one-off misstep or a red flag too big to ignore?

This woman’s story is a stark reminder that love should never come with a side of humiliation. Her partner’s fake proposal didn’t just mock her dreams—it exposed a crack in their foundation, one that his lack of remorse only widens. As she navigates this hurt, her next steps could redefine her future. Have you ever faced a “joke” that felt like a betrayal? Share your thoughts or advice below—what would you do in her place?

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