My husband (32M) is upset that I (31F) don’t look more like a mom Part Deux.

The kitchen clock ticks softly as dawn paints the room in golden hues. A woman in a crisp blouse adjusts her heels, her laughter mingling with her baby’s giggles—a scene of hard-won balance. Yet, her husband’s furrowed brow hints at a lingering tension. This 31-year-old mom, once weighed down by postpartum depression, now radiates confidence, but her strength unsettles her partner. For those who want to read the previous part: [My husband (32/m) is upset that I (31/f) don’t look more like a mom.]

Her Reddit update peels back layers of their struggle, revealing his insecurities and their path to healing. It’s a tale of resilience, miscommunication, and the messy beauty of parenthood. As she navigates therapy and stilettos, her story asks: can a mom’s personal triumph coexist with a partner’s doubts? Let’s explore this next chapter, where self-discovery meets shared growth.

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‘My husband (32M) is upset that I (31F) don’t look more like a mom Part Deux.’

I had no idea my post would get so much attention. There was a lot of really solid advice (and one creepy PM warning me that by dressing in business attire and wearing lipstick and heel I was being overly s**ual around my child and that would turn my son into a serial k**ler. Stay gold, reddit). A couple of clarifying points. My MIL did work when my husband was growing up, she just did not have an office job.

She works in a medical field and wears scrubs everyday. When she's not in scrubs, she's in sweatpants. Seriously. For our wedding, his family started a pool about whether or not she would wear sweats to the wedding. I did not suddenly get sexy after my son was born. I was slightly overweight before my son was born and I'm back to my pre-baby slightly overweight shape..

Now the update: Dan and I went out without our son so we could talk. I told him that I was confused by his comment and I wanted to talk about it. I asked him if he could name specific things about the morning routine that made him feel as though our son was neglected. I offered to 'switch shifts' so to speak if he though our son should have more AM parent time.

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To make a long and confusing conversation short- Dan's confused by the fact that I got over my postpartum depression and am back to normal now. For some context, my PPD never made me question whether or not I loved my son or made me feel like we never should have had him. My PPD made me feel like I was constantly failing my son, that I wasn't good enough to be his mom and that he deserved better.

There were a few times I broke down and started crying and would tell Dan that he was so much better at being a parent than I was and that our son didn't deserve to have a s**tty mom like me. Luckily, I have an amazing DR who recognized that this wasn't just baby blues and helped me get the help I needed. It could have been much worse. Basically, Dan only felt like a good parent when I was failing and telling him that I was terrible at it.

Now that I'm doing better, he no longer feels like a good dad. It's s**tty, but we're staring couple counseling, I'm continuing with the counseling I started for my PPD and Dan's going to see someone too. We're going to figure it out. And I'm still going to wear heels to work even though it's going to turn my son into an axe murderer.

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Parenthood can feel like a tightrope walk, and this mom’s story shows how one partner’s strength can shake the other’s confidence. Her recovery from postpartum depression (PPD) is a victory, yet it left her husband, Dan, grappling with his own parenting insecurities. His earlier critiques of her appearance masked a deeper fear: that her newfound stability diminished his role as a dad.

This dynamic isn’t uncommon. PPD affects about 1 in 7 mothers, per the American Psychological Association (apa.org), and partners often face their own emotional struggles. Dan’s reliance on her past struggles to feel competent highlights a need for mutual support. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Couples thrive when they build a culture of appreciation and respect, even in conflict” (gottman.com). Dan’s initial criticism sidestepped this, but their commitment to therapy is a step toward rebuilding trust.

Broadly, this reflects how societal expectations of parenting roles can strain relationships. Moms are often praised for self-sacrifice, while dads may feel pressure to “step up” without clear guidance. Dan’s discomfort likely stems from comparing himself to her resilience, a common pitfall in new parenthood.

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Advice: Therapy is a strong start, but they should also carve out time to celebrate each other’s parenting wins. Dan could benefit from journaling his contributions to their son’s life, boosting his confidence. She should continue her self-care, as it fuels her mental health.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s reactions are as spicy as a morning espresso, blending humor and heart. Here’s what the community said about this mom’s update:

ZenPancakes − Sounds like Dan needs a counselor to work some s**t out. Good for you being the smart, hot mom. He should be on his knees thanking whomever that you didn't develop Golden Uterus syndrome.

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adaliss − It seems like Dan has issues of his own that need to be addressed. It's pretty common to feel like you aren't doing a good job with your new kid, but when he had you reassuring him that he was an amazing dad all the time (just to clarify, don't change a thing, this isn't your fault) he felt like he had it together at least to you.

Now that you aren't struggling, he probably compares himself to you and thinks he's lacking. There are other explanations obviously, but that's a very common one.. I'm glad that you both will be addressing this in therapy, and I expect you'll see improvement soon. :)

YoungRL − We're getting counseling and my baby is going to be a serial k**ler. This seriously cracked me up. I'm so glad you and your husband talked and that you guys are moving in the right direction =]

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sjlwood − I still find Dan's behavior strange... but I'm glad that you are both seeking counseling for your issues. Good luck!

heeltantrum − It sounds like you have a strong sense of self and a great sense of humor. Your baby is going to be just fine.

blc1106 − Solid update; I'm glad he could articulate his feelings and is so willing to get help. Also, props to you for being so on top of your PPD!. The only remaining mystery--what did your MIL wear to your wedding?

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bumblebeatrice − We're getting counseling and my baby is going to be a serial k**ler. Congrats!

DiTrastevere − ...well that took a weird turn. I'm glad you got to the root of the issue. I really hope you can work through it together. Best of luck OP, keep being your fabulous self!

[Reddit User] − Keep up the good humor, and best of luck with counseling!

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Brmble − It would be much better if he grew up to be an axe murderer, than axe murdered, if you had to choose.

These comments cheer her on, but do they capture the full complexity of their journey? One thing’s certain: Reddit’s wit keeps the conversation lively!

This mom’s update is a testament to resilience—hers in overcoming PPD, and theirs as a couple embracing therapy. Her humor and heels shine through, proving parenthood doesn’t dim personal spark. Dan’s vulnerability, though initially misdirected, opens a path to growth. How would you navigate a partner’s insecurities while celebrating your own strength? Share your stories and insights below!

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