My girlfriend (37F) keeps feeding me (39M) junk food despite knowing how hard I’m trying to get in shape. How do I handle this?

For a 39-year-old man, his girlfriend’s constant stream of cakes, pizzas, and fast food isn’t just a nuisance—it’s a direct hit to his year-long effort to get healthy. Despite his clear requests and a doctor’s warning about his weight, her junk food surprises keep coming, leaving him frustrated and throwing desserts in the trash. With three years together and his health on the line, he’s struggling to balance love with his personal goals.

This Reddit post captures a raw, relatable conflict that sparked a wave of advice and support. Readers feel his exasperation, rooting for him as he navigates a partner who seems to ignore his needs. His recent breakthrough after a firm talk offers hope, but the challenge of sustaining change looms large. Let’s explore his story, the community’s take, and what it means for relationships and health.

‘My girlfriend (37F) keeps feeding me (39M) junk food despite knowing how hard I’m trying to get in shape. How do I handle this?’

So I just threw another cake in the bin. This is getting ridiculous. This is a weird situation I'm in. I haven't been in it before and I really hate it. Basically I've been dating my girlfriend for a few years now, and I'm just getting more and more unhealthy. I used to be very physically active and took pride in my physical capabilities but it has slid since being in a relationship.

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I've been trying for the last year to get back in shape but my partner keeps feeding me junk food. I typically do the cooking myself, but she will pop over with cakes, surprise order pizza, or McDonalds, despite me complaining every time that I'm trying to get healthy. Even my doctor has told me I need to lose weight. For the first time in my life I'm starting to get scared about it.

My willpower isn't amazing, but I always get healthy when I am left to my own devices. Not with her though, she knows I'm trying to get healthy but does the opposite in terms of supporting my goals. I've been very direct with her about this but it isn't helping. Does anyone have any advice?

Navigating a partner’s unsupportive habits can feel like jogging uphill with a backpack full of donuts. This man’s girlfriend, by ignoring his health goals, creates tension that’s less about cake and more about respect. He’s clear about his needs, driven by medical advice and a desire to reclaim his active past, while her actions—perhaps rooted in insecurity or differing food relationships—undermine him. The update suggests progress, but sustaining it requires mutual commitment.

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A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association (source) found that partner support significantly boosts health goal success. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman emphasizes, “Small, consistent acts of support build trust and alignment in relationships.” Her initial resistance might stem from fear of change, as Reddit speculated, but their recent joint health kick shows promise.

He should maintain open dialogue, setting clear boundaries like refusing junk food deliveries. Cooking healthy meals together could align their goals, as they’ve started. If resistance persists, couples counseling might uncover deeper insecurities.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s takes are as spicy as a late-night fast-food run—bold, varied, and ready to call out sabotage.

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CatCharacter848 − You need to be firm with her. I think she's trying to sabotage your healthy eating.. Don't be afraid to refuse.

simply_jess_lmao − have you asked her why she does this?

Big_Year_526 − What's your girlfriends personal relationship with weight/food/body image. My first thought is that, if she's not very in shape, trying to keep OP on the plump side might be a (very unhealthy) attempt to keep him from other women?

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AffectionateWheel386 − That’s like an a**oholic whose wife buys him a lot of liquor and gets mad when he tries to get sober because he’s different. This is your girlfriend not your wife. Don’t date people like this. They’re sabotaging you. Maybe it’s ignorance and maybe it’s because she’s insecure but either way you can’t live a life like that.. It’s the same as women who dumb themselves down for their man to keep them. It’s unhealthy.

Suspicious_Egg_1516 − Keep turning down the junk food. Every time. If she doesn't get it then turn down the relationship.

JustinTruedope − I apologize if this comes off as insensitive, but is she overweight as well? If that's the case, she could be feeling 'left behind' on your fitness journey, or perhaps is concerned that if you lose the weight you will no longer be attracted to her/will attract people SHE considers more physically attractive than herself. Insecurity thing, basically.

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Pretty_Writer2515 − I think she’s trying to sabotage you maybe make you gain weight so no other girl will look at you?

Janeheroine − Sounds like she’s worried if you get fit you’ll leave her. Or the power dynamic in the relationship will shift. Either way, she’s trying to control you out of insecurity.

[Reddit User] − You are not compatible.

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Isyourmammaallama − You absolutely have the right to control what you eat

From suspicions of insecurity to calls for breaking up, these opinions sizzle with conviction. But do they capture the full recipe for a healthy relationship?

This man’s trash-bin rebellion against junk food is a rallying cry for anyone fighting to prioritize health in a relationship. His firm stand and newfound teamwork with his girlfriend offer hope, but the road to lasting change is paved with discipline and trust. With expert insights pointing to mutual support and Reddit buzzing with tough love, what’s next for this couple? Would you toss the pizza or the partner? Drop your advice below and let’s chew on this together.

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