My friend of 8 years accused me of sleeping with his wife. I cut him off and he’s asking if I’m still his friend?

Few things sting more than a close friend leveling false accusations against you—especially when you’ve only tried to help. In this story, the Original Poster (OP) has been friends with B since high school, even supporting B through a rough divorce. However, B’s refusal to accept responsibility for his failing marriage, combined with a shocking accusation that OP and B’s wife were romantically involved, shook their long-standing friendship to the core.

Now, with B’s life seemingly spiraling out of control, the question is: should OP remain in his corner and hope he changes for the better? Or is it time to move on, cutting ties with someone who’s proven unwilling to see his own faults? Let’s break down the dynamics at play and consider whether a path to reconciliation—or a healthy separation—is the best option.

‘My friend of 8 years accused me of sleeping with his wife. I cut him off and he’s asking if I’m still his friend?’

Below is the original account from OP, explaining the heartbreaking split between his friend B and B’s former wife, as well as the accusations leveled at OP:

Letting go of a friendship that once felt like family is never easy. When an accusation surfaces—especially one as outlandish as being involved with a friend’s spouse—it challenges our core values of trust and loyalty. In this case, the accused friend highlights a pattern where the accuser shifts blame onto others to avoid facing his own shortcomings. This behavior isn’t just emotionally draining; it erodes the foundation of any meaningful relationship. Research in interpersonal communication stresses that accountability is key to personal growth and trust. As one expert puts it, “Personal growth is not an easy task. Typically, personal growth is accompanied by hard work and honest efforts.”

In relationships, taking ownership of one’s actions means acknowledging faults without deflecting blame. The situation here shows a clear imbalance—while one party demands unwavering loyalty, the accuser uses baseless allegations to manipulate the narrative. This disconnect underscores the need for introspection and honest dialogue. A friend who refuses to see his own role in conflict not only isolates himself but also imposes an unfair burden on the other person to constantly prove innocence.

Moreover, emotional accountability isn’t simply about apologizing for mistakes. It involves creating a space where both parties can communicate their feelings openly and work toward mutual understanding. For example, when someone repeatedly dismisses concerns with excuses, it’s a sign they’re not ready to engage in self-reflection. This lack of accountability can spiral, making it impossible to rebuild trust. Even the best relationships falter when one partner is unwilling to admit mistakes or even acknowledge the impact of their behavior.

When faced with such dynamics, it’s essential to question whether the relationship can ever be restored or if it’s best to walk away. Experts agree that reconciliation requires both parties to commit to genuine change. Without that commitment, the cycle of blame and resentment continues unchecked. It’s not enough to hope that things will get better; there must be a concrete plan to address underlying issues. In our case, the accused friend recognized that maintaining the friendship under these circumstances meant accepting toxic behavior without change, which would only hinder his own emotional well-being.

Finally, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and clear boundaries. When these elements are missing, a person is justified in removing themselves from the situation—even if that means severing an eight-year bond. True accountability means not only acknowledging personal mistakes but also knowing when to step back for the sake of one’s own mental health.

Check out how the community responded:

Fellow Reddit users largely echoed the sentiment that a friend who won’t accept responsibility and hurls baseless accusations can become toxic to be around. Many advised OP to distance himself unless B demonstrates genuine change, pointing out that enabling B by staying silent could perpetuate the cycle of blame-shifting.

Ultimately, standing by a friend in crisis is commendable—until it becomes clear the friend is unwilling to change and emotionally draining to be around. Should OP hold out hope or cut ties completely? Weigh in with your thoughts below. Have you navigated a similar scenario with a close friend gone off-course?