My boyfriend wants to break up after college – i don’t but also don’t see the point in continuing the relationship until we leave college?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The campus air buzzed with the hum of late-night study sessions as Mia, a college junior, snuggled close to her boyfriend of two years, dreaming of a shared future. Their love, weathered by ups and downs, felt like a sturdy bridge to forever—until a casual chat about post-graduation plans sent it crumbling. His bombshell, “We should break up when we leave college,” hit Mia like a rogue wave, drowning her hopes in confusion and hurt.

Reeling from his words, Mia poured her heart out on Reddit, torn between her deep love and the sting of his planned exit. His shift from forever-talk to a breakup deadline left her questioning everything. Their story captures the raw ache of loving someone whose heart has an expiration date, a dilemma that echoes through countless college romances.

‘My boyfriend wants to break up after college – i don’t but also don’t see the point in continuing the relationship until we leave college?’

So my bf and I have been in a relationship for 2 years now and I love him like no one else before and I feel like he might be the one. In those 2 years we had ups and downs like in any relationship but to sum it up we always worked it out somehow and grew together more and more.

Fast forward to yesterday: we had been talking about what we wished for our future and at some point he just went 'I think we should break up when we leave college'.. I was shocked because in every other conversation he seemed like he wanted to continue our relationship.. The problem is: I really don't want to break up with him.

I love him so much and I don't see the point in being in a relationship with someone who wants to break up anyway.. Am I at fault or does anyone else feel like it would be a waste of time?. Advice?

Edit: wow I never thought about getting so many responses. Thank you so much for all the honest advice and kind words! Wish I could answer every comment but there are so many!!!

Mia’s world tilted when her boyfriend set a breakup deadline, exposing a rift in their emotional investment. At 20-something, Mia sees him as “the one,” pouring her heart into a shared future, while he views their romance as a college chapter with a finite end. His sudden shift from future-talk to an exit plan blindsided her, leaving her to grapple with love’s uncertainty.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating commitment in young adulthood. A 2024 study by the Pew Research Center found that 59% of adults under 30 prioritize personal growth over long-term relationships. Mia’s boyfriend may be eyeing post-college freedom, but his lack of clarity earlier sowed confusion.

Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned relationship therapist, notes, “Clarity in love requires courageous conversations about intentions”. Mia’s boyfriend owes her an honest talk about his reasons—whether it’s distance, exploration, or fear of commitment.

Mia could initiate a calm discussion to understand his stance, then decide if staying feels fulfilling or draining. Choosing self-respect may mean walking away to embrace her own path.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s response to Mia’s heartbreak crackles with empathy and tough love. Commenters rally around her, slamming her boyfriend’s breakup plan as a selfish move to “use” her until graduation.

Many urge her to prioritize her self-worth, suggesting she end things now to reclaim her college years for growth and new connections. Others share stories of similar splits, emphasizing the freedom that comes with letting go. The crowd sees Mia’s love as valid but her boyfriend’s exit strategy as a red flag for mismatched goals.

MarbleBalloons − You’re not at fault. He just spoke out loud what he’s been thinking to himself. And what he’s been thinking is that this has been fun and all, but he’s not committed to you because he’s a young man and there is so much more to explore in the world.

That is like a punch in the gut, but you can’t make someone love you and be committed to you, and you also probably won’t be ok just hanging around waiting for him to *maybe* get it together and see how great you are.. I personally couldn’t stay in this situation. You DEFINITELY should not be making plans with this guy.. I’m sorry. It sucks.

idahopotato8 − I went through this in college, and I decided that if he didn't want to continue the relationship after graduation it'd be better to break up. Otherwise, I saw it turning what should have been a fun and happy time (celebrating graduation) into a sad time as I mourned the relationship.

It was a hard time and a hard decision, but it was 100% the correct decision. I ended up meeting my now fiance before graduation and now I have lovely memories of him at my graduation and wouldn't change a thing.

griminald − You both have rational approaches to the relationship. Especially if your families aren't close, meaning post-graduation you'd be long distance.. The difference is that he's less emotionally invested in the relationship than you are. If what you want is a serious relationship that you can invest yourself in past graduation, then yeah you're probably wasting your time staying with him.

If there's an expiration date on a relationship, some people take the 'enjoy it while it lasts' approach and some people take the 'Why am I wasting my time?' approach. Both are rational depending on your goals and needs, but the two approaches aren't really compatible.

C1sko − He already broke up with you. He’s just waiting to finish school and use up all the remaining “relationship” benefits.

Tetrafy − I agree, what's the f**king point in being together if he's just gonna ditch you anyway? You might as well be broken up already. I'm guessing he just wants something to keep him occupied through college and it's really selfish of him to ask you to be that for him. You're a human being, not a tool for him to use for his entertainment while he's bored in school.

And no, you're not at fault. You did nothing wrong. Leave him, I promise he's not the last guy you'll ever be with, and there are certainly people out there who would love to be able to commit to you long-term.

ColtonLancington − If my boyfriend told me that he was planning, or thinking of planning, to break up with me in the future, I'd save him the trouble and d**p him. Why should you stick around and continue to love and support him while he decides on whether to stay with you or not? F**k that s**t. Know your self worth. You do not deserve to sit around KNOWING that this man that is supposed to love you is weighing his options about you being in his life or not.

Bangbangsmashsmash − Anytime a relationship has an expiration date, you need to bump up that timeline if you’re looking towards long term and marriage. It’s so much easier to make friends and meet people in college, don’t waste your time and energy on someone that doesn’t want to be with you long term. Think of all the time you’ll have been wasting with this guy! Ugh.

ALIENCLITORIS − I’d just leave now. Cut your losses and move on, find something else great, don’t waste the next little bit of your life on something that’s not really fulfilling what you need.

There is a chance that breaking up now will shock him into realizing he did want a more long term commitment with you but I wouldn’t count on it... just do what’s best for your happiness.

[Reddit User] − My response would be: I think we should break up now.. But that's a bit knee-jerk of me. Ask him why he said that. I'm being it's a 'want to explore' thing. Which... fine. But if that's the case, why wait?

princess_slaya21 − You’re boyfriend just handed you a gift! Enjoy the freedom you now have to decide what you want to do after graduation, leave him out of your planning and do it. Pack that bag, move wherever you want, apply to all the dream jobs, cause you are not tied down to him anymore.

My ex did this to me 6 months before graduation. I was so mad at him. I hunkered down, banged out a k**ler final thesis, kissed him goodbye and left. I got a job, moved cross country, and started a new life without him. He was so upset, flew out to visit, begged for me to take him back.

I turned him down, he slept in the woods crying about how he was covered in dew and just wanted to be with me. But nah, I was good, I had new friends and a new life without him. I know you mentioned you think he’s the one. And honestly of course you do! Why would you have invested so many years of your life with someone you didn’t think was?

But you’ll meet more people that will feel like “the one.” Our hearts are amazing little things that can open up and love in so many way, just believe in you, and love yourself. This guy is taking advantage of your generosity. It’s time for you to be selfish and go your own way.

Mia’s college romance, once a beacon of hope, now teeters under the weight of her boyfriend’s planned goodbye. Her story is a poignant reminder that love thrives on shared dreams, not countdowns to heartbreak.

Walking away from someone who’s already half-out the door takes guts, but it opens the door to self-discovery. Have you faced a love with an expiration date? Share your experiences below—how did you choose between holding on and letting go? Let’s keep the conversation buzzing!

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