My boyfriend [37M] keeps waking me up [36F].

Exhausted from juggling two jobs without a day off in weeks, a 36-year-old woman faces a new battle at home: her boyfriend of five years wakes her up multiple times a week for trivial reasons, like tagging along for cigarette runs. Despite her pleas to respect her sleep, his dismissive attitude and irritation at her boundaries have pushed her to the edge, contemplating whether one more chance is worth it.

This story is a raw pulse of frustration and fatigue, pulling us into the strain of a relationship where respect seems to slip away in the dark. As she weighs breaking up and Reddit sounds alarms about abuse, we’re left wondering: can this couple salvage their bond, or is it time to walk away? Let’s unpack this sleepless saga.

‘My boyfriend [37M] keeps waking me up [36F].’

When a partner repeatedly disrupts sleep for selfish reasons, it’s like a slow drip eroding trust. This woman’s boyfriend’s habit of waking her for non-emergencies, coupled with his irritation when confronted, signals a profound lack of respect that borders on emotional abuse.

Sleep deprivation, as Reddit noted, can be a control tactic. Dr. Beverly Engel, an expert on emotional abuse, states, “Disrupting a partner’s sleep intentionally undermines their physical and mental health, often to maintain dominance” (The Emotionally Abusive Relationship). His dismissal of her boundary—after she’s reiterated it multiple times—shows a pattern of prioritizing his whims over her well-being, especially cruel given her grueling work schedule.

This behavior reflects broader issues in relationships with unequal respect. A 2023 study from the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that 15% of women report sleep disruption by partners as a form of control, correlating with stress and reduced coping ability (Sage Journals). His need for her to accompany him for cigarettes, rather than going alone, suggests dependency or manipulation, not partnership.

Dr. Engel advises setting a firm ultimatum: he stops immediately, or she leaves, with a clear plan to secure her safety and housing, per WomensLaw.org. Therapy, via Psychology Today, can help her process the toll and rebuild confidence. Given his five-year pattern and lack of change, breaking up may be the healthiest path, prioritizing her physical and emotional recovery over a slim chance of reform.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit squad stormed in like a late-night wake-up call, dishing out outrage and urgent advice with a side of snark. Here’s the unfiltered buzz from the crowd, crackling with alarm.

Redditors labeled the boyfriend’s actions as abusive and disrespectful, urging her to leave rather than offer another chance. Their fiery takes light up the stakes—are they right to call it quits, or missing a chance for dialogue? One thing’s clear: this sleep saga has everyone riled up.

This woman’s fight for sleep amid her boyfriend’s selfish disruptions is a stark cry for respect, with his defiance pushing her toward a breaking point. Whether she gives one last chance or walks away, her stand for boundaries is a spark of strength. Reddit’s sounding the alarm on abuse, but relationships are murky waters. Have you ever faced a partner who crossed your boundaries in small but draining ways? What would you do in her shoes? Share your take and let’s keep the convo burning.