My BF (M23) secretly destroyed my (F22) hobbies because he was jealous of me spending time with them instead of him.
Her cozy apartment once buzzed with the warmth of fresh-baked cookies, the rustle of book pages, and the vibrant chaos of her junk journal. But for one 22-year-old nurse, these joys turned into a bewildering nightmare. Her boyfriend, seemingly sweet and supportive, began a secret campaign to unravel her world, one hobby at a time. Running shoes vanished, cherished books disappeared, and her beloved journal lay ruined. What started as quirky mishaps revealed a chilling truth, leaving her heartbroken and questioning everything.
The young woman’s story, shared on Reddit, paints a vivid picture of love tangled with control. Her passions, from marathon training to crafting intricate journal pages, were her sanctuary—until they became his target. As her confusion grew, so did the stakes, pushing her to confront a reality she never imagined. Readers are left wondering: how could someone so close cause such deliberate pain?
‘My BF (M23) secretly destroyed my (F22) hobbies because he was jealous of me spending time with them instead of him.’
This story screams of a relationship teetering on a dangerous edge. When a partner targets your passions, it’s not just about hobbies—it’s about control. The young woman’s boyfriend didn’t just hide her running shoes or trash her journal; he chipped away at her identity. His actions reflect a need to dominate, cloaked in jealousy, which experts warn can escalate.
Dr. Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That?, notes, “Abusers often target what brings their partner joy to assert power”. Here, the boyfriend’s calculated destruction—books, baking tools, even her Apple Watch—shows a pattern of emotional abuse. By dismissing her distress, he further invalidates her, a classic tactic to erode self-worth. Bancroft’s insight suggests he’s not just annoyed; he’s punishing her for existing outside his orbit.
This situation ties to broader issues of coercive control, affecting 1 in 4 women in relationships (CDC, 2021). Destroying property is a red flag, often preceding physical harm. The Reddit user’s shock mirrors many victims’ initial denial, as abusers often mask their behavior with charm early on.
For her, safety is priority one. Experts advise documenting evidence, like photos of the damage, and creating an exit plan with trusted allies (National Domestic Violence Hotline). She should avoid confronting him alone and consider legal steps, like a restraining order.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
Reddit didn’t hold back, and their hot takes are as fiery as a kitchen mixer meltdown! From calls to press charges to chilling warnings about escalation, the community rallied around her. Here are their thoughts:
These opinions pack a punch, but do they capture the full picture, or is there more to unpack?
Her story is a gut-punch, revealing how love can mask manipulation. From trashed journals to severed running shoe laces, her boyfriend’s actions weren’t just petty—they were a power grab. As she rebuilds, her strength shines through, but the road ahead demands caution. What would you do if your passions became someone’s target? Share your thoughts—have you faced similar betrayal, or how would you navigate this heartbreak?
