My BF (31M) said he finds big b**bs attractive, I (26F) am an A cup…

Jonathan Hours
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Over a casual dinner, a 26-year-old woman’s heart sank as her 31-year-old boyfriend mused about breast implants, admitting he finds big boobs attractive—words that stung deeply, given her A-cup size. Hiding tears behind sunglasses, she grappled with insecurity, fearing he wishes she looked different, especially as she’s noticed his eyes wander. Too afraid to voice her pain, she’s left questioning her worth in a relationship otherwise free of major issues.

This isn’t just about a comment; it’s a poignant dive into body image and the weight of a partner’s words. Her silence reflects a fear of vulnerability, while his bluntness—intended or not—shakes her confidence. Can she address this hurt without risking judgment, or will insecurity fester? It’s a raw, relatable tale of love tested by thoughtless remarks and self-doubt.

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‘My BF (31M) said he finds big b**bs attractive, I (26F) am an A cup…’

Her pain and confusion spill out in a heartfelt Reddit post, capturing the dinner that shook her self-esteem. Here’s her story, unfiltered:

Today my boyfriend (31m) and I (26f) went out for dinner, and after we somehow got to talking about b**ast implants, and he was like I’m not gonna lie I don’t want you to get anything fake in you but big boobs are attractive… and I was just stunned. I’m an A cup. Why would he say that to me when I can’t change that part of myself? It literally hurt so bad when I heard it.

I cried silently under my sunglasses so he didn’t see anything. After I asked him if he doesn’t like how I look and he said no but there’s stuff that I like in other guys that he doesn’t have and I said “no there isn’t”. It was so crushing. I just know he wishes I looked different. I feel sick.

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It makes me so insecure because I know no matter what girl we’re around, if she has big boobs he’s going to look at her and never look at me that way. I don’t want to tell him how hurt I am over it because I don’t want him to think I’m insecure and use it against me :( Nothing else is really wrong in the relationship, but lately I feel that his eyes wander. I’m just sad and I want advice on what to do…

This woman’s dinner turned into a moment of heartbreak when her boyfriend’s comment about finding big boobs attractive hit like a dagger, amplifying her insecurities as an A-cup woman. His attempt to clarify—comparing it to her liking traits he lacks—fell flat, leaving her feeling inadequate, especially with his wandering eyes adding to her fears. Her choice to hide her tears and avoid confrontation stems from a fear of being seen as insecure, a dynamic that risks bottling up resentment.

Body image struggles are common in relationships. A 2022 study in Body Image found that 40% of women report partner comments impacting their self-esteem, often leading to communication breakdowns (source: Body Image). Her reaction reflects this, as his words, even if unintentional, triggered a deep sense of rejection.

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Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship therapist, notes, “Partners must tread carefully with comments on appearance; empathy and reassurance can prevent lasting hurt” (source: Loving Bravely, Alexandra Solomon). Solomon’s insight suggests the boyfriend’s bluntness lacked sensitivity, failing to affirm her unique appeal. His wandering eyes, whether real or perceived, amplify her fear of comparison, a common trigger for insecurity.

She should share her feelings in a calm moment, using “I” statements like, “I felt hurt by your comment about big boobs; it made me feel less desirable.” This invites dialogue without accusing, as recommended by the American Psychological Association (source: APA). His response—defensive or reassuring—will signal his willingness to rebuild trust. Individual therapy, via platforms like BetterHelp (source: BetterHelp), can help her process insecurity, while couples counseling could align their communication. She might also reflect on whether his behavior aligns with her needs long-term.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s buzzing with takes on this painful dinner moment—brace for raw, unfiltered reactions!

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AltMiddleAgedDad − My wife is also in the itty bitty titty club. I’m not sure I have much advice for you, but I have a lot for your boyfriend. My wife was so self conscious about her b**ast size when we were first dating.

So much so, that when we were really becoming serious she took off her shirt, not because we were passionately fooling around — but because she didn’t want to “mislead” me and wanted me to know how little she was before we got too serious. She really saw herself as damaged goods because of her b**ast size. Now, I thoroughly enjoy her breasts and honestly, think large breasts are not attractive.

But understanding her insecurity made me realize how I needed to show up. I make a point of being obsessed with her breasts and buy her lingerie. I encourage her to wear bikinis. We fall asleep every night with me holding her breasts. I talk about how sexy they are. I caress them whenever I can. Now, I’m not saying that I’ve made some major sacrifices here. I love her breasts.

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But I am saying I over-index in this department to help build up her confidence. She has told me more than once she doesn’t understand my obsession, but she is glad that I love her breasts. And it’s worked. We just had a 25th wedding anniversary trip. I encouraged her to wear bikinis all week (she had not for years) and she did.

I encouraged her to be topless in our semi private pool, and she did. And when I told her I would have loved if she had done a bridal boudoir for me when we got married (it wasn’t really a thing back then) and would love one now — she immediately agreed to do it. The fact that she is going to do topless professional photography still amazes me. It tells me she has really gained confidence in her body.

One of her girlfriends was surprised she is doing it and her response was, “if after 25 years my husband wants to look at photos of me instead of 20-something’s on the internet, then I am all in.” I love her confidence and I can’t wait to see all the photos. I travel for work and those photos will make those nights a lot easier!

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I share all of this to tell you that your boyfriend should be supporting you and uplifting you against your insecurities. I think you need to tell him how his comment made you feel and how you would like him to show up differently. And if he doesn’t, consider that in your relationship equation. What you described is not about attraction.

Hell, I weigh a lot more than when we were first dating and no doubt my wife finds less overweight guys more attractive. Bodies and attraction changes during a life long relationship. What concerns me is that his response showed a lack of situational awareness and kindness. So, you need to tell him honestly about how it made you feel and how you need to be supported. If he is marriage material, he will show up differently.

RightTravel6925 − Idk just ask yourself if you’d ever say some s**t like that to him or do you have enough sense and empathy to know that’s not what your partner would want to hear. If the answer is no, ask yourself why you’re not holding him to the same standard. Also if you have the inclination he’d use anything you’re insecure about against you why would you want to be with someone like that?

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Cruccagna − I think in itself it’s ok to find features attractive that your partner does not have. It doesn’t automatically mean he’s not attracted to you, it’s just one thing he’s into. I think the actual problem is that he could be more sensitive to your feelings.

Do you usually feel insecure about your boobs and does he know that? Did he mean anything by saying that to you or did he just blurt it out because he’s genuine but unaware?. I think you should have a talk with him and find out.

If there’s suspicion that he’s negging you to make you feel insecure, that’s a red flag. If he’s just not very aware of how comments like these make you feel, there’s a learning opportunity.. His reaction will show you what type of guy he is.

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AlmondMilkMaybe − Yikes. I had to go back and read everyone's ages. I assumed everyone was in their teens or very early twenties. But he is 31! And sis...you are 26! 'I don’t want to tell him how hurt I am over it because I don’t want him to think I’m insecure and use it against me :('

It's not normal in a healthy relationship to think that you can't express hurt or it will be weaponized by your partner. So, from what you've written, it sounds like he may be an a**hole (negging you, in which case, this probably isn't the first time) or very dumb.

That said, if a comment like this has you spiraling in either case, you may need to revisit whether you feel secure and strong enough to be in a relationship at all. I say that because if he's an a**hole this insecurity will be weaponized against you easily. And if he's just very dumb, you will be crashing out every time he puts his foot in his mouth.. Lose/lose.

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lifeuhfindsaway_ − Question regarding the last part: 'I don't want him to think I'm insecure and use it against me.' Has he done that before? Because that is a massive red flag that he is trying to reduce your self-esteem to make sure you don't leave him.

alysiach − I had the same exact experience with boyfriend when I was 25 and ended up getting implants. I was already very insecure and thinking about getting them. It is one of the big regrets of my life. I have had capsular contracture which caused disfiguration.

I ended up marrying that man and we have been married 25 years. He cheated of course. A man that superficial will look to younger women when you age. We are still together and in a lot of therapy. He actually admitted in therapy he was sorry he told me he didn’t like my boobs when we were younger and he was a selfish jerk.. Don’t do it and get rid of the creep or you will have a lifetime of regrets.

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TheBestDanEver − I mean, he's an i**ot for saying that out loud to you.. Whats more concerning is that line 'I'm afraid he will use this against me.'. Wtf does that even mean? That shouldn't be a thought you have with your significant other.

Bleed_Blue15 − I used to be in a relationship like this, it only feels worse over time, it ruins you a lot more than you can imagine, pls leave before it destroys you!

Cocoaqueen1love − Long-ish response incoming… Speaking from personal experience, I have large b**ast and they are a complete hinderance in my life. So much so that I will be getting them reduced. They have gotten me attention I don’t like. I have been in relationships with guys that love and don’t care for them.

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I will particularly share my experience with the guy who I was in a relationship for almost 3 years who didn’t care for them. When we started dating he started off by letting me know he liked big butts, I’m talking d**p trucks… I do not have a d**p truck but I do have something back there but he didn’t find it attractive.

At first, I really didn’t care until he started to make insulting comments about my body. I told him I was going to get a b**ast reduction and he said, “well, you know I don’t care for b**ast but maybe you can put some fat in your ass.

For example, he told me that sometimes he had a hard time staying hard and more hurtful things. Then the ig models/women and likes entered the chat… when I talked to him about it he called me jealous and insecure but continued to do things that would cause me to be insecure and disrespected. Unfortunately, this was just tip of the iceberg.

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I am grateful that I have the opportunity to comment on this platform to tell you to run and not look back. He does not value you or respect you, instead of uplifting you and making you feel good, his actions are causing you pain.

You say that there is nothing else wrong in your relationship, but this is kind of a bigger deal than what you are making it. He can’t stop him staring at other woman with big boobs… he lacks self control which in turn MAY snowball into other things.

Girly, choose yourself… LOVE every part of yourself FIRST. Do not allow yourself to be undervalued and treated poorly because of some dusty man. You are a gem, take control of your life. I wish you all the very best.

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These Redditors are dishing out bold advice, but are they hitting the mark, or just fueling the hurt?

This woman’s story is a tender clash of love, insecurity, and the sting of a partner’s words, with a boyfriend’s comment on big boobs shaking her confidence. Her silence protects her heart but risks unspoken resentment, while his lack of tact tests their bond. Can she voice her pain and find reassurance, or will doubt linger? What would you do when a partner’s words hit your deepest insecurities? Toss your advice, stories, or reactions in the comments—let’s dive into this!

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