My (38f) husband (38m) of 8 yrs was inappropriate with another woman on vacation.

On a sun-soaked tropical beach, where cocktails flow and worries fade, a 38-year-old woman’s dream vacation crumbles. After overindulging at a swim-up bar, she passes out, trusting her husband of eight years to stay close. Instead, she wakes alone, only to find him cozying up to another woman in the pool, sparking hurt and humiliation.

This isn’t just a vacation gone wrong—it’s a raw tale of trust shaken and love tested. Readers will feel her sting of betrayal, rooting for her to navigate the murky waters of forgiveness and decide what’s next for her marriage in this paradise-turned-heartache.

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‘My (38f) husband (38m) of 8 yrs was inappropriate with another woman on vacation.’

Me (f38) and my husband (m38) are on a tropical vacation. First time without kids in forever so we have been indulging more with drinking and partying than we would ever do regularly. It has been so long, and I obviously didn’t know my limitations properly. I ended leaving the swim up bar with my husband and he was helping me with some water on the beach.

I remember struggling to even swallow the water and then laying down on the beach chair. About an hour later I wake up and my husband is no where near. I walk around looking for him and find him in the pool, pressed up against another woman. He sees me. I hear the woman say “is that your girlfriend?” But I didn’t stick around, I just left for the restroom.

He got out and was waiting for me when I left. Typical response of “she was pushing up against me” and whatever. He said sorry, but it doesn’t feel like enough.. I already know I am done drinking and I wasn’t drinking responsibly. I am feel embarrassed and hurt. I am aware that the woman was from a different resort so it isn’t likely that there will be future run ins.

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I guess what I am looking for is help on what to do next… I am lacking the ability to know what I need to hear or see to move on from this. I already gave him the “lecture” about how dumb he was, and how he probably should have been watching over me at the beach (because I was also dumb) and not making his move in another location.. Reddit… what would you do? How would you get back to being good in your relationship?

A vacation meant to rekindle romance turned into a trust-shattering ordeal for this woman. Her husband’s decision to leave her passed out on a beach chair—vulnerable and alone—while flirting with another woman in the pool reveals a lapse in care and fidelity, compounded by his weak apology blaming the other woman.

This incident exposes a deeper issue: neglecting a partner’s safety and boundaries erodes trust. His actions, from abandoning her to engaging inappropriately, suggest a lack of accountability, especially troubling after eight years of marriage. A 2023 study in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy found that trust violations, if unaddressed, significantly increase relationship dissatisfaction.

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Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, emphasizes, “Trust is rebuilt through consistent, accountable actions, not just apologies.” For her, this means her husband must own his choices—acknowledging both the abandonment and the flirtation—without excuses. Couples counseling could provide a safe space to unpack this, helping her express her hurt and him to understand the impact. If he resists, individual therapy might help her clarify her needs and boundaries.

She could initiate a candid talk, saying, “I felt abandoned and betrayed; we need to rebuild trust with actions.” If he commits to change—like prioritizing her safety and transparency—she might find a path forward. If not, she should weigh whether this breach signals deeper issues.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out raw reactions and bold advice—here’s the crowd’s take:

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ginagracesoto − mild infidelity aside, i find it a bright glowing huge red flag that he left you on a beach chair alone in the state that you were in. :(

TacoStrong − I can’t imagine leaving my wife on a beach chair so I can go continue partying and talk up a random woman. Any other red flags you’ve missed before this huge disrespect?

Emaribake − Now you know how he acts when he thinks you’re not watching.

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throwRA897269420 − terrifying that he would leave you asleep/passed out in public. especially so he can what, stand really close to another woman in the pool? shows absolutely zero care about not only your relationship, but your physical safety.

NoBid8389 − I wouldn't be able to trust him after that, but it has nothing to do with the woman. While it's irresponsible to get that drunk, him leaving you passed out on the beach is unacceptable. That could have ended so badly. I see that you are only interested in moving past this versus changing your relationship status.

Only you know what you need to move on from this. Is it couples counseling? Individual counseling? Both? Or do you 2 need to have a heart to heart? Or do you just need time to pass? It's all about your needs and what your husband is willing to do. If he's blaming the other person, I wouldn't expect much.

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Xbsnguy − I would never leave my wife, mother of my children, passed out drunk on a beach chair by herself surrounded by people I don’t know in a place we’re not familiar with. I wouldn’t do that in our backyard either. What the hell was your husband thinking lol. No level of intoxication justifies that.

mimistrikeaband123 − How did the other chick know who you were? And she called you his girlfriend. So your husband lied about being married. Why tf were they pressed together. You don’t do that. And you don’t leave your spouse passed out on a beach alone. You could have been taken advantage of or worse. I’d leave and head home early.

Historical-Source-36 − This was probably the first time… you saw him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a cheater.

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WinterFront1431 − Yeah, this would be a relationship ending for me.. if you didn't wake up when you did, he would have probably slept with her, leaving you HIS WIFE... unconscious, in an unknown country, where anyone could have taken advantage of you. I would tell him that you will be spending the remainder of the vacation alone.. to explore, ect, and when you get back, he can leave.. To me, this is not mild.. or forgivable

kisskissadios − Your profile has you referring to an “ex-husband” less than a year ago and in this post you say you’ve been married to this man for 8 years.. Were you once in the process of divorcing him?. You deserve so much better than someone that would leave you alone while passed out.

These fiery opinions light up the debate, but do they hold the key to healing? Reddit’s intensity stirs the pot, yet her next steps need a personal spark.

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This woman’s tropical escape turned into a wake-up call, exposing cracks in her marriage. Her courage to confront the hurt64 is a step toward clarity, whether it’s rebuilding trust or redefining her future. Readers, have you faced a partner’s betrayal? How did you find your way back—or move on? Share your stories below—let’s guide her through this storm!

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