My 31F Husband 31M does not want my father in the delivery room because he is a man. Is there anyway this isn’t a form of possessive behaviour manifesting?
In a cozy living room, a woman’s excitement about her future child is tinged with worry. As she chats with her husband about their baby’s arrival, his sudden outburst—“No other man in the delivery room!”—stops her cold. Her heart races; this isn’t the goofy guy who laughs at “alpha male” clichés. She wants her dad, her rock through a childhood of hot water bottles and cast-iron comfort meals, by her side during birth, especially given her family’s scary history with midwives.
But her husband’s gut reaction feels like a possessive shadow, stirring doubts about trust. Picture her, caught between her family’s unconventional warmth and his unease, wondering if this is a red flag or a misunderstanding. Readers, can you sense her tug-of-war? Let’s dive into her story and untangle this delivery room dilemma.
‘My 31F Husband 31M does not want my father in the delivery room because he is a man. Is there anyway this isn’t a form of possessive behaviour manifesting?’
Childbirth is a raw, vulnerable moment, and who stands by your side matters. This woman’s desire for her father in the delivery room stems from a deep trust, forged through years of his nurturing care. Her husband’s initial objection—“no other man”—hints at discomfort, but his later admission of uncertainty shows he’s grappling with his own instincts. Is it possessiveness, or something else?
The crux is communication and unspoken fears. Her husband’s worry about not being the “primary person” suggests insecurity, not malice. He may fear losing his role in a moment where he’s already secondary to her medical needs. Meanwhile, her family’s history of traumatic births—her mother’s near-death experience, her sister’s pain—drives her need for a trusted advocate. Their non-traditional dynamic, where her dad played a nurturing role, makes his presence feel natural to her but foreign to him.
Dr. Harriet Lerner, a psychologist and relationship expert, writes, “Unspoken assumptions can sabotage even the strongest partnerships” (harrietlerner.com). Here, the husband’s gut reaction likely ties to societal expectations of masculinity, but his openness to dialogue is a green flag. Lerner’s advice—naming fears directly—applies: he should articulate his discomfort, and she should clarify her dad’s role as support, not competition.
Moving forward, they could set clear delivery room roles: her husband as primary partner, her dad as backup advocate. Couples counseling, like that offered by BetterHelp (betterhelp.com), could strengthen their communication before the baby arrives. She might say, “I need Dad’s support for peace of mind, but you’re my main partner.”
See what others had to share with OP:
Reddit’s chorus chimes in with spicy takes, from calling out potential red flags to cheering her autonomy.
These Redditors are all about choice, but do their blunt calls to confront or dismiss her husband’s fears miss the nuance of their progress?
This woman’s story is a reminder that childbirth isn’t just about the baby—it’s about trust, love, and teamwork. By talking it out, she and her husband are rewriting their script, but the tension lingers. When family dynamics clash with partner instincts, where do you draw the line? Share your thoughts—have you faced a similar delivery room debate, and how did you handle it?
