My (29F) boyfriend (46M) knew me as a child?

In a cozy small-town diner, where gossip flows as freely as coffee, a woman’s world tilted when she learned her boyfriend once knew her as a pigtailed toddler. Dating for nearly a year, she thought their 17-year age gap was just a number—until a relative’s casual remark unveiled that his college girlfriend, her former babysitter, often cared for her alongside him. His silence about those years spent playing hide-and-seek with her younger self left her heart uneasy.

This Reddit story isn’t just about a forgotten past—it’s a tangle of trust, omission, and the murky waters of age-gap romance. As the woman wrestles with her boyfriend’s nonchalance, her discomfort pulls readers into a tale that’s both intimate and unsettling. It’s a reminder that even in love, the past can cast a long shadow.

‘My (29F) boyfriend (46M) knew me as a child?’

I may very well be overreacting here, but I'm a little weirded out by the fact that my boyfriend knew me as a child and never told me. We've been dating for a little less than a year and come from a small-ish town. The age gap is big, but it's never been a major issue in my mind with us being fully grown adults now.

We've met each other's families a couple times, and up until recently, I wasn't aware that there were any mutual connections. Come to find out through a relative of mine that my boyfriend's then-girlfriend used to babysit me when I was little.

I was between 3 and 6 y/o and they were around college-age at the time.  Apparently I spent a lot of time with this babysitter, who lived with my boyfriend back then, and it wasn't uncommon for them to babysit me together. I brought this up to my boyfriend to see if he remembered it at all.

He told me that he did, and I was kind of shocked that he never thought to mention it, but he said that it wasn't a big deal and was so long ago that he didn't think it was important to tell me. On the one hand, I see where he's coming from, but I also think that knowing me for three years as a child is something worth bringing up at least once.

This small-town revelation exposes a rift rooted in trust and perception. The woman feels blindsided by her boyfriend’s failure to mention their childhood connection, while he shrugs it off as ancient history.

His omission, intentional or not, undermines the openness essential for intimacy, especially given the age gap and power dynamics at play. Her unease reflects a natural response to a boundary crossed—knowing someone as a child carries emotional weight.

Age-gap relationships often spark debate. Studies suggest nearly 40% of couples with a decade-plus age difference face social scrutiny, amplifying trust issues. The boyfriend’s past role in her life, even peripheral, adds a layer of complexity that demands honesty.

Relationship counselor Dr. Susan Winter has observed, “Transparency builds trust in age-disparate relationships.” The boyfriend’s dismissal risks eroding confidence. For the woman, addressing this means calmly expressing her need for openness, perhaps saying, “I need us to share significant past connections.” If he deflects, reassessing compatibility may be necessary. Honesty is the bedrock of love.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s reaction to this tale is a lively mix of shock and skepticism. The community largely sides with the woman, labeling her boyfriend’s silence as creepy and manipulative, especially given the age gap.

Many see his failure to disclose as a deliberate dodge, with some calling the dynamic inherently uncomfortable due to his past role in her childhood. Others argue small-town connections are inevitable, but still fault his secrecy.

Inevitable-Bet-4834 − This reminds me of an episode of wife swap uk. One of the couples had a 17 year age gap or there about. The husband had changed her diapers. He was friends with her parents 😵‍💫

[Reddit User] − Yeah… this is a Hell no to me. It would be one thing if he completely forgot and it was a pure coincidence. But the fact he actively remembers you as a little kid? Way too creepy

CrystalQueen3000 − Well that’s gross and creepy on multiple levels. That he knew and kept that from you just adds to the squickiness

Commercial-Pear-543 − I think he didn’t mention it because he knows exactly how that sounds. I don’t know. I’m a similar age to you and I think age gaps are less relevant at our age, but I wouldn’t want to date someone who babysat me. There’s a lot of strange connotations there.

And while I do appreciate age gaps can be fine, he’s not far off my dad’s age. It’s conjuring some off feelings for how the two of you must be, dynamic wise. I’ve always thought aim to have them closer to you than the parents!

Muggi − You date a man that is old enough to be your father, live in a small town, and are surprised he knew you as a child? I don't get it.

[Reddit User] − Ew. I don't think I could date someone who I babysat. That crosses a lot of personal boundaries.

theemmyk − Reason # 237 to not date someone over a decade older.

Adventurous_Quote_85 − I’m going to be honest here. You are from a small town and dating someone nearly 20 years older than you. I’d have been shocked if he didn’t know you when you were a child. That just comes with the territory of small town life.. That being said, I do think it’s a little odd that he never mentioned it to you.

currycurrycurry15 − So that man watched you toddle around and played games with you as a small child and now has s** with you?. Yeah. No. This is one of so many reasons to not date anyone old enough to be your father.

Chaoticgood790 − F**king no.

This small-town saga leaves us pondering love, honesty, and the echoes of the past. The woman’s discomfort highlights a truth: relationships thrive on transparency, not secrets.

Her boyfriend’s silence, whether careless or calculated, casts doubt on their bond, raising questions about trust and respect. Whether they move forward or part ways, openness must pave the path. Share your thoughts below—have you faced a partner’s hidden past?

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