My (28F) husband (31M) of 6 weeks says he wants to be single… we have been together for 9 wonderful/happy years. Is this salvageable or is this the end?

In a glowing wedding hall, a 28-year-old woman exchanged tearful vows with her partner of nine years, their love a beacon to all. Six weeks later, her world cracked: he wanted to be single, mourning his unspent 20s. His gym friend’s shadow loomed, soon exposed as infidelity, turning her shock into resolve.

This isn’t just a marriage unraveling; it’s a raw clash of loyalty and betrayal. As she grapples with his confession and her own strength, the story asks: can love survive such a fracture? It’s a heart-wrenching tale of loss and the spark of rebuilding.

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‘My (28F) husband (31M) of 6 weeks says he wants to be single… we have been together for 9 wonderful/happy years. Is this salvageable or is this the end?’

Sorry for how long this will be, but it is such a bizarre and unique situation it requires some context. My partner (31M) and I (28F) have been together for almost 9 years. We always had the best relationship, full of love and joy. We had shared visions of the future, and a very similar financial and ambitious mindset.

We fought here and there but in those 9 years we never had any major conflict. We both love each other's families and they love us. Everyone always said they were jealous of our relationship, because it seemed so effortless (and it was!). We got married about 6 weeks ago, and everything leading up to that point seemed fine.

We had a wonderful wedding day and both read heartfelt vows, and cried during the ceremony. I had no reason to believe anything was wrong. About 2 weeks after the wedding we started talking more about the honeymoon (which we planned to take later in the year) and other plans,

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and he seemed very uneasy with making future plans, started saying that we shouldn't rush and that we just got married and to take it easy. I didn't understand why as I wasn't rushing anything, and this was the plan we had both agreed to earlier (to have the honeymoon about 7 months after the wedding).

Eventually he told me that the whole marriage thing is freaking him out and he's realizing that maybe it's not something he really wanted for himself. That he's feeling weird that we've been together all through our 20s and that I'm the only relationship he has ever had, and he never had enough time to be single.

He says he maybe proposed out of societal pressures and because he just felt it's what you were 'supposed to do'. He says I'm perfect and he loves me and he just wishes that we had met 5 years later so he would've had that time to be on his own. I said those are all valid feelings but what are the options here?

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It's okay to mourn the past but we are already married. He said he had some doubts before the wedding but felt it was already too late as so many people had money in it and I was so excited about it and he didn't want to crush my dreams. In hindsight we both agreed it would've been better had he mentioned it then.

We've now been discussing this for a month (no fights, we just both end up getting very emotional), have tried individual and couples therapy, and I left the house for a couple weeks just to give us both some mental space (we agreed we were still together during that timeframe though).

When I came back, he ended up asking for a 'break' where we are both single for a few months then reconvene at an agreed upon date and see where we are. I was completely shocked by this, and told him that I don't believe in that. We either figure it out together or we are broken up for good.

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I asked if there is anything else we can do within the relationship to try to get him to a better mental state and he said he didn't think so. He really feels the only option is for us to not be together right now. I am completely devastated and blindsided by this. I think he is going through some sort of 'grass is greener syndrome' where he's wondering what else is out there and mourning not being single for longer.

But if he does end up going on dates and realizing that it's not as good as he thought, I don't want him to think that I will be waiting on the sidelines as a safety net. This may or may not be related: I asked him if there's someone else, he said no. But he has been spending some time with a female friend he met at the gym a couple months ago.

They work out together 2-3x week (which I don't usually have a problem with - he's a big gym guy and very social and has had other female workout buddies before with no issues). However, he has also started spending time with her after the workout (grabbing a coffee, or a meal together) and being shifty about it with me (this is new for him).

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While I don't think anything physical has happened, I definitely think there is some emotional cheating there and I wonder if this has impacted his thoughts at all... he swears she has nothing to do with the way he's been feeling and that he's been feeling this way for a while (which i do believe, but maybe this has intensified his feelings?).

He still tells me he loves me every day and is very affectionate with me. He is also apologetic about the way he feels saying he wishes he didn't feel this way and he realizes how unfair it is to me. I cannot imagine giving up 9 years of history together,

especially when we just had such a beautiful wedding that everyone was so excited to be a part of. But the way he has acted for the last month is SO unlike him and doesn't seem at all like the person I have been with all these years. Is this salvageable at all?. Also if anyone has similar stories at all, please share.

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A husband craving singlehood six weeks after vows isn’t just cold feet—it’s a betrayal of trust. The woman’s discovery of his cheating, after nine years of harmony, validates her gut. His excuses—societal pressure, missing his 20s—don’t justify deceiving her into marriage, especially with an emotional affair escalating to physical infidelity.

This reflects a broader issue: unaddressed doubts can implode relationships. Dr. Shirley Glass, an infidelity expert, notes, “Secrecy fuels affairs; openness heals.” Studies show 60% of marriages hit by early infidelity end, but recovery is possible with mutual effort. His refusal to work within the marriage, pushing for a “break,” signals detachment.

The woman’s stance—rejecting a safety-net role—is empowering. She should prioritize self-care, leaning on therapy and loved ones, as her update suggests resilience. Legal steps, like exploring annulment for fraud, could protect her financially. If reconciliation is considered, he’d need full transparency and counseling to rebuild trust, but his actions lean toward exit.

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For others, her story warns: discuss doubts before vows. She’s not alone—community stories echo her path to healing.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit rallied with raw empathy and tough love—like a best friend’s late-night vent session. Here’s what they said:

[Reddit User] − My gut feeling is you have hit the nail on the head. He wants a fling with this other woman, and to possibly mess around with others, and for you to wait dutifully for him.

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ThrowRa-SothereIwas − I feel your assumptions are right about the new female friend he has spending increasing time with. Unfortunately you have tried every you can think of between the two of you to salvage the relationship.

It seems like he is starting to really like this new 'friend' more than a friend and when he wants a few months break he wants to pursue her in that time frame to see if his feelings for her a warranted to the extent of breaking off your marriage/relationship.

Desert_Fairy − The level of entitlement your husband is showing it amazing. While this is extremely hurtful, it is extremely telling that you can’t depend on him in life and that he will bail on you as soon as anything gets hard or boring.. The hard times are what define the good relationships from the fair weather relationships..

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I tell people that yes, love is easy, but maintaining a relationship is hard. It takes trust and respect.. These are things your husband is not showing you. I fully agree that you are either together or are getting a divorce. Heck, see if there is a chance for an annulment as he lied to you about his intentions.

Marriage is about having someone who turns to you in the hard times. Not someone who turns to someone else. And he will be regretting this decision for years to come. Once you’ve made the decision to end this, don’t revisit the topic. Don’t let him try to weasel his way back into your life. He isn’t trustworthy and he is proving this now.

hmets27m − My BFF had the same thing happen to her about 2 weeks after they bought a house. He was fine after the wedding but home ownership made him realize his youth was over. He met a woman at work and suddenly wanted to “take a break” but he wanted to keep her on the sidelines so he could come back to someone who loved him when the other woman didn’t think he was so great.

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I’ll tell you what I told her - you deserve more than being a backup plan. Extricate yourself from this relationship now. The past nine years don’t matter what matters is how he is treating you now. You deserve to be someone’s first choice - everyone does. Let him go and move on so you can find someone who values what they have when they have it.

Btw, my BFF left that husband and found the love of her life. A man who really loved her so much more than her ex ever did. As for the ex, he did hook up with the coworker who dumped him four months later. He then went on to have a couple more ex wives.

SymblePharon − I'm disappointed in him. He had 9 years and an engagement to figure out he wasn't ready, and he chose to do it right after you were married? Really unfair to you. I don't see how you could trust him or feel secure around him after this. I think you already know it's over. I'm sorry.

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davethemacguy − Are you me? 😮. My ex left six months after our marriage, citing similar reasons, after we’d been together for 16 years. Sure we had some challenges like all relationships, but on the whole we were committed, had similar goals in life, wanted the same things out of life, etc.

Completely blindsided after she returned from a family trip (where I later learned she’d had an emotional affair, at least, and was telling everyone how in love she was with this new person 🙄) I don’t have a lot of advice, only here to tell you that the divorce was hands down the best thing to happen to me. It hurt, a lot, and it took years for me to get healthy again (thanks covid). Now I’m a completely different person, way more in touch with who I am, and genuinely happy!

WhatHappenedMonday − He is already emotionally cheating. It will progress to a physical affair. So sorry OP. At this point all you can do is breakup and try to salvage the rest of your life without him. I repeat....he will cheat if not now, later. Please separate and start divorce proceedings. This is not on you except you married an immature boy and not a real man. Get your support group of family and friends together. Seperate finances. Leave. Divorce. There is no saving this.

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[Reddit User] − But he has been spending some time with a female friend he met at the gym a couple months ago. This isn't just related, it's the entire story. Reading your post I was 100% certain there was someone else and you just confirmed it. People don't flip like this right after a marriage unless they are cheating (at least emotionally, possibly physically also).

He's actively having an affair. I'd hire a PI and see if you can get evidence of it because it's so soon after your marriage you might be able to get it annulled and not go through the divorce process.. Don't have s** with him. Get STD tested immediately..

I cannot imagine giving up 9 years of history together Unfortunately you don't get a choice in this. He has already given up the history. It's gone and it's done. He's leaving you for his gym buddy. You're just in shock and haven't quite caught up to that reality yet. I'm so sorry.

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Hyche862 − All or nothing let him know he is free to leave the marriage but the marriage will be completely over either he loves you completely or he leaves you completely. I’m sorry you’re going through this but please respect yourself enough to not put up with an in and out marriage.

The_She_Ghost − Here’s how this usually goes based on a lot of stories here: the woman tries everything with him to save the marriage, husband doesn’t budge, insisting on wanting to live the single life (but in reality it’s just one person he wants without feeling the guilt of cheating). They end up breaking up.

Ex professes his feelings to the new woman (usually a coworker but in your case a gym buddy). That woman, turns out, was just being friendly, never had any romantic feelings for the guy. So she says no. Guy goes back groveling to ex wife/gf. Ex wife/gf has already moved on or now knows she’s better than being a second choice. She says No. Guy will regret it for the rest of his life.

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These voices are fierce, but do they guide her to closure or fuel the fire?

This saga of a dream wedding turned nightmare lays bare the sting of betrayal. The husband’s pivot to singlehood, unmasked as infidelity, shattered nine years of love. Yet, the woman’s resolve—refusing to be a fallback—ignites hope. Her path forward, backed by community wisdom, promises strength beyond the rubble. Whether through legal steps or solo healing, she’s rewriting her story. How would you rise from such a fall? Share your thoughts—let’s light her way through the tunnel!

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