My (26f) best friend (23f) might be in love with my husband (26m). Where do I go from here?

In a cozy home filled with new-parent joys, a shadow looms over a young couple’s love. A 26-year-old woman watches her best friend weave too tightly into her marriage, calling her husband endlessly and crossing lines—like asking to cuddle in their bed. Her husband, well-meaning but socially awkward, brushes it off as loneliness, leaving his wife feeling sidelined in her own life. As family steps in and tensions flare, the woman grapples with a friend’s possible crush and a husband’s blurry boundaries.

This isn’t just about late-night calls—it’s a heart-wrenching clash of loyalty, trust, and respect. With a baby in her arms and divorce looming, the woman stands at a crossroads, torn between her marriage and her peace. Let’s dive into her story and the Reddit voices urging her to act.

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‘My (26f) best friend (23f) might be in love with my husband (26m). Where do I go from here?’

My husband and I have been together since we were young teenagers. We got married last year and have a six month old daughter together. She is the light of both our lives as we both came from broken homes and want a better life than we lived growing up.

My best friend came a few years later. We used to live in the same neighborhood and casually began to hang out. She lives with both her parents and siblings as she is studying to get her bachelor's degree. At first, she didn't like my husband. Said that he was c**ngy and tried to insert himself into our friendship.

(WTF?) She was civil to him because he was my romantic partner. For context, my husband is bipolar type 2, autism and PTSD and it causes him to be a little socially awkward and miss certain social cues and taboos. I love him regardless of it all.

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Over the last few years, we have been hanging out a lot more. She comes over for a few drinks, we go to movies, and even visit local attractions together. We all three have a good time, and my husband does try to make nights for just the two of us often, too.

However, last year my husband and I found out we were expecting a child together in January. I was working and fell ill because at the time, I was working a fast food place. I threw up and went to the doctor. Come to find out, I was eight and half weeks pregnant.

My life changed and I had become more busy to get myself ready for motherhood. My best friend saw me less and less and we couldn't talk as much. My husband I got married almost month and half after discovering we were going to become parents.

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That's when our dynamic changed. Recently I applied to school and am currently in college trying to get a law degree so I can become a paralegal and get to law school. I'm also a stay-at-home mom while doing college, too. I've been super busy.

One day my husband gets a text, and it's from my best friend. She asks if they can talk, as she was upset. He took the phone call with me protesting and a few minutes later said, 'Sandra (fake name), we need to go get Karla (fake name). Her father is picking a fight with her.'

I get upset as we were watching a movie together and I had just gotten the baby down for bed. We go to her house, which is about twenty minutes away and she stays with us for a night. As I get our daughter back down to bed, Karla asks to cuddle with the two of us in our bed.

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I was hesitant. I have issues with claustrophobia due to a traumatic experience as a child. My husband gave the go ahead. We settle in for the night. Karla's dad apologized and she heads back home. Once she was gone, I blew up on my husband. What he did did not only inappropriate, but was disrespectful to my boundaries.

Ever since, when she has an issue with her dad, she calls my husband and vents. One day, while my in-laws were staying with us, my MIL overheard a convo with my hubby and Karla. She was concerned and asked me if I was okay with it. I said, 'No, not really, but every time I bring it up, he gets defensive, saying that she needs help.

That she is going through a hard time. Blah blah blah.' It is important to note that my MIL was cheated on in the past by her ex, my husband's father. We are also extremely close, and she sees me as a daughter. She hates cheaters with a passion, and my husband (who I will refer to as James) was using the same excuses his father did.

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She asked to speak to him privately and walked to our living room. They got into a heated match and James apologized to me. He said he didn't know that it was hurting me and causing issues in our marriage. I asked him, 'How would he feel if I had asked him if another man could sleep in the bed with us?' He kind of deflated and tried to say, 'It's different.

Blah blah blah.' His stepfather, Mark (fake name) spoke up and said, 'It is the same. You're uncomfortable with it. So is she. Quit with the excuses.' James respects Mark quite a lot actually. Mark raised him since he was 8 and his own father was in and out of the picture. Once the dust settles, my husband truly apologized to me for his actions and said that he would do better. I kissed him and that was that.

However, I wouldn't be right here if that was the end of the issues. Lately, Karla has been calling him three to eight times a day. She says it's because she is bored and has no one else to talk to. I snap. I call him out over the nonchalance about the situation, how when she calls, he answers, how it is making me feel like a third wheel in my marriage, etc.

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His response? 'She's just lonely. You're letting it get to you.' That night I slept in the living room. I'm starting to suspect that she is trying to monopolize his time. She calls him for over an hour each time he calls, they talk, she complains about her life, etc.

Almost like she is his girlfriend or something. I am starting to find this relationship troubling. It's getting to the point that it is affecting my marriage. Where do I go from here? Any advice would be appreciated. Edit: Thanks everyone for the feedback. I'm going to have a talk with him, with his mom involved.

He won't listen to me if I don't. I'm tired of fighting him over this. I should have an update with a resolution in a couple days. I'm going to read everyone's responses more thoroughly. Thanks for the advice.

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Edit #2: My husband and I had a sit down talk. His mother and stepfather weren't available. He promised me that he would explain everything in detail. I called Karla and she said that we could talk Friday when she wasn't busy with school. She had something she needed to air out. I will have an update on Friday, hopefully...

Edit #3: I woke up to a text from Karla this morning. She actually wants to talk to me tonight, alone, as her schedule has changed We are going to have a heart to heart. Hopefully I will have some news. Edit #4: I need some time. I will post an update later on. My heart is hurting. Hubby and I are getting a divorce. Thank you for understanding, everybody! 💔.

When a friend’s behavior blurs marital lines, the fallout can shake a relationship’s core. This woman’s struggle—watching her best friend, Karla, monopolize her husband’s time with frequent calls and inappropriate requests like cuddling in their bed—signals a breach of trust. Her husband’s reluctance to set boundaries, despite his apologies, fuels an emotional affair, leaving the woman feeling like an outsider in her marriage. Karla’s actions and the husband’s leniency threaten the couple’s bond.

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Relationship therapist Dr. Shirley Glass explains, “Emotional affairs begin when someone outside the marriage becomes a primary source of intimacy”. The husband’s engagement with Karla’s daily calls, prioritizing her emotional needs, mirrors this dynamic. His conditions—bipolar disorder, autism, and PTSD—may explain social missteps, but don’t excuse dismissing his wife’s discomfort. Karla’s persistence suggests a deeper attachment, exploiting his empathy.

This reflects a broader issue: boundary violations in friendships. A 2023 study by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 60% of couples face strain from overly close friendships, often due to unclear limits. The woman’s claustrophobia and marital expectations were ignored, amplifying her distress. Her husband’s defensiveness and Karla’s reliance on him risk escalating beyond emotional infidelity.

Dr. Glass advises “rebuilding trust through transparency and firm boundaries.” The couple needs counseling to address his enabling behavior and her feelings of betrayal. He must limit or cut contact with Karla, redirecting intimacy to his wife. The woman’s planned talk with Karla is a start, but her husband’s commitment to change is crucial. If he resists, the looming divorce may be her path to peace.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The community pins the blame on the husband for entertaining Karla’s excessive contact, labeling it an emotional affair. They view Karla’s behavior as predatory, but stress the husband’s choice to prioritize her over his wife is the core issue. Many urge cutting Karla off entirely, with some suggesting an ultimatum or divorce if he doesn’t comply, emphasizing the need for firm boundaries to save the marriage.

Aggravating-Owl-8974 − You’ve set your boundaries and he continues to cross them. Is this how you want your marriage to be?. She won’t stop as long as your husband responds to her every time.

[Reddit User] − This is on your husband entertaining her like that. You can be mad at Karla, but it’s on him to say no. Having this situation with a neighbor makes it doubly hard.

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BoudiccasJustice − He needs to cut her off. You both do. He needs to tell her that their contact is hurting his marriage so it’s best they not have contact and then block her. He’s choosing her over you again and again, every single time. Sounds like he is enjoying the attention, he likes being needed by her, by being her hero.

If he doesn’t stop contact, the relationship is going to be over. He’s in an emotional affair with her. Next step is physical. It’s unfortunate, but it’s ultimatum time - it’s either you or her. He can’t have both and maintain a healthy marriage.

[Reddit User] − So I'm with you on her probably having feelings for him. But let's be honest here, your husband is at the very least having an emotionnal affair with that woman.

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Bipolar, autism, PTSD... don't excuse the fact that he was cool with another woman sleeping in your marital bed. This was weird as f**k and I still don't understand how you just didn't say no.

Your husband is CHOOSING to answer her phone calls. He is the one affecting your marriage with his s**tty behaviour. Your MIL saw it. Her husband saw it. Anybody with some sense can see it. I think he can see it, and that he likes the attention he's getting from her and he likes that you're 'jealous' (which you are not being) of this new friendship.

If I were you, I'd sit down with him and I'd be clear about how innapropriate him answering her 3 to 8 calls a day when he has a wife and a child. That they can be friends, but that she's taking way too much space into our lives.

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That if he does not limit his interactions with her and keeps making her a priority, you will be moving out with your kid. That you want couple's counselling, and that if he does not agree than he can find himself a divorce attorney.. Again, she's an issue, but she's not your issue. Your husband is.

l3ex_G − They are having an emotional affair. There “friendship” needs to end. You have him have to start counselling and work on your marriage. Sorry but the stats are most men cheat when their partners are pregnant. I would also involved your MIL and FIL to see if they can get him to see that he is royally f**king up.. That woman is not your friend and she needs to find someone else.

BulkyCaterpillar4240 − Cuddling in bed together? WTF? Give your husband a choice: either he cuts contact for good with her, changed his number or the marriage is over. OP you need to grow a spine and set firm boundaries, block this so call girlfriend permanently. Your husband has a choice: his family or that sleezy so called friend.

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Minute_Box3852 − You BOTH need to block her. No more calls or communication. No closure.. She. Will. Know. Why.

Carolinamama2015 − He needs to cut her off, or it's the end of your marriage, and you need to lay it out to him like that. He only seems to get it for a minute when someone is blunt with him. Like his mother and step-father.

Or really put him on the spot and ask if he'd rather be with Karla than you. Does that sound harsh, yes, but he's already been told multiple times that this is making you uncomfortable and you aren't going about it the petty way by making a close male friend.

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WinterFront1431 − Honey, she not the issue your husband is... And he is already cheating on you , emotionally.. You need to set him straight and say your tired of being a third and he has two choices cuts her off or stops the contact communication

and phone or loses you and this is non negotiable and if he won't answer or says she lonely needs him, what ever... tell him it's over.. He letting another woman trample all over your marriage... But he is already cheating.. whether you see that or not

Impossible-Name6188 − I just got triggered reading this cant imagine how it is having to actually live this. Ask your husband if he wants to divorce you to be with this girl bc it looks to be heading there and see his reaction. Its gonna tell you much more than what his excuse spewing mouth is doing rn

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This tale of a friend’s overreach and a husband’s leniency lays bare the fragility of trust. The woman’s fight to reclaim her marriage, with a baby in her arms and divorce on the horizon, is a gut-punch reminder of how quickly boundaries can blur. Can love survive when a friend gets too close? Share your thoughts, experiences, or advice below—what would you do if a friend’s calls started shaking your relationship?

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