My (25f) husband (26m) asked me for a divorce 5 weeks post partum. What do I do?

Five weeks after welcoming her first child into the world, one woman found herself facing a reality she never imagined. Her husband, who once cried as she walked down the aisle and held her hand through labor, suddenly told her he wanted a divorce. The timing alone left her reeling, still healing physically while trying to understand how everything unraveled so quickly.

At the same time, questions began swirling about a female friend, emotional distance, and whether this marriage could be saved at all. As she turned to social media for advice, reactions poured in from people who had lived through similar heartbreaks. Some urged self-preservation, others offered empathy, and many questioned how a relationship could collapse during such a fragile chapter of life.

 

 

 

‘My (25f) husband (26m) asked me for a divorce 5 weeks post partum. What do I do?’

For years, the relationship looked stable, loving, and full of shared milestones.

Hello all, I’ve been a two hot takes listener for years and even listened with my husband before all this. For background, I have been married to my husband, let’s...

We got married on our five year anniversary just last year. He cried as I walked down the aisle. Truly a magical day.

Everything was good, we got married, got pregnant and managed to buy a house together this year.

The early days of parenthood seemed to bring them even closer together.

During the birth of our son, he was so supportive, holding my hand, holding my leg while I pushed, smiling the whole time.

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Even after our son was born, those first few weeks he was so sweet, helping take care of our son, take care of me even.

Then, subtle changes began that left her uneasy.

Well, suddenly my husband started hanging out with this female friend. He told me there was nothing to worry about and that they just talked.

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Fast forward, I leave to head back to visit family in another state. I call the first night, same lovey T.

What happened during a family visit changed everything.

The night before he flies out however, I go to call him and he’s at her house. I call and SHE answers the phone. I was polite until our son...

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T keeps calling me back while at her house and I sent some not so nice texts that I wish I hadn’t. When T arrives to visit my family, he’s...

The emotional fallout was immediate and devastating.

Eventually, he asks for a divorce. I was devestated. I’ve been in love with this man for YEARS and we have a 5 week old son.

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He tells me he’s not in love with me anymore and he “let my past actions build up rather than communicate that they bothered him but it’s too late for...

Fast forward 2 weeks and he admits that he had a minor crush on this female friend after I caught him at her house, when he was supposed to be...

He says that nothing physical has happened, that it was only one sided feelings on his part and remains adamant it wasn’t cheating.

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I did reach out to her and she says she has no feelings for him and even blocked him on everything. We even went to counseling two days after this...

In counseling, he admits divorce is on the table. I’m crushed. I sobbed in my car after. When we got back to our house, I freaked out, saying I don’t...

Even after counseling, clarity never came.

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The next day after counseling, he says there is no trying, that he truly wants a divorce. I’m truly lost now. This man, the love of my life, is now...

I don’t want our marriage to end, I want to try and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want just advice saying I need to leave and lawyer...

though I appreciate comments that give tips when it comes to getting custody of our son (AZ), I just want to fix things.

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They don’t need to go back to the way they were but I do want to be with him. I still love him. So Reddit, what do I do?

Postpartum is widely recognized as one of the most emotionally intense periods in a couple’s life. Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, and identity changes can strain even strong relationships. In this case, the sudden withdrawal by the husband compounded the emotional shock, leaving his wife searching for stability while still recovering physically.

From a relationship psychology standpoint, emotional infidelity often precedes physical betrayal. Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute has stated, “Betrayal doesn’t start with sex, it starts with secrecy.” Spending time privately with another person, especially during a vulnerable phase, can erode trust even without physical contact.

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Many experts caution against making permanent decisions during periods of acute stress. That said, commitment requires willingness from both partners. When one spouse states clearly that they are no longer invested, the other cannot repair the relationship alone, no matter how deeply they love them.

For new parents in similar situations, professionals often recommend prioritizing personal mental health and creating predictable routines for the child. Legal clarity, emotional support, and therapy can coexist. Healing does not require abandoning hope immediately, but it does require accepting reality as it unfolds rather than clinging to what once was.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many users reacted strongly, expressing outrage at the husband’s timing and behavior.

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BookishBitching − My guess is that she told him she's not fcking around with a married man, so he wants a quick divorce to see if the grass is greener...

ake the house, do NOT move out of it. Stake your claim. Get all the child support you can from him.

Anyone who would do this to you, especially 5 weeks post-partum, is a dirt bag who can't be trusted.

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GlidingToLife − Get divorced. He might be the love of your life but he is terrible husband and father material. Good husbands and fathers don’t immediately divorce their wives.

accounting_student13 − GIRL! !!! He's not gonna change. He's doing you a favor by divorcing you and setting you free to find yourself and eventually a man who truly truly...

Divorcing my cheating, emotionally involved with other women, husband was the best thing I could've ever done. That was 14 years ago. It was so painful going through it. We...

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But he was cheating multiple times, with different women. I was not gonna take it anymore so I took the kids and divorced him.

Ive been happily married to the love of my life for 10 years now. GIRL! !! Your husband is giving you a way out. Staying where you and your baby...

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GellyG42 − Unfortunately the odds on a spouse cheating/leaving are high during pregnancy and post partum - seriously some men just suck,

poor me can’t get any for a few weeks I’m guessing he was hoping to monkey branch straight over to this ‘friend’

and now she knows she’s potentially a home wrecker she’s backtracking quickly and cut him off.

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If you insist on staying you need some therapy, otherwise what is to stop him thinking he can just do this and you’ll put up with anything to keep him.

Get yourself a good lawyer, keep records of everything including his abandonment at 5 weeks post partum and get everything you can from the douchebag. You and your kid deserve...

Mars4EvrLuv − Any man who would leave his wife who literally JUST HAD HIS BABY over a crush that doesn't want him. . Girl, he wanted to cheat.

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Get a lawyer. .. get primary custody and child support. .. and get him to pay for your therapy so a good therapist can tell you how much better off...

Let him lose his wife, his kid, his reputation. .. AND the crush who doesn't want him. It's what he deserves.

Others offered more measured, empathetic responses.

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Complex_Hunter35 − Ouch what an ordeal. I want to be gentle in my wording. I don't know if he had the affair but he has begun the moving on process.

You are going through so much mental anguish that having him back would feel like a security blanket and that's ok . It takes a lot to walk through those...

Focus on creating a routine for you and your kid, go for therapy, be kind to yourself and lean on friends.

You should come to a financial arrangement with him that he provides for his child. Alongside healing do the pragmatic stuff too . Keep going . My heart goes out...

one_night_on_mars − With time, your going to realise what a s__tty thing your husband has done to you in an incredible sensitive time of your life.

But right now, you can't fall apart, you need to focus on your son, focus on healing your body, and you esp need to surround yourself by supportive people. Take...

Clear your head, and let him think through his actions. The fact that the "friend" doesn't return his feelings leads me to think he's going to try to come back...

and the life that he used to have, with excuses about being scared /o__rwhelmed / etc and you need to have a rational mind to decide what you want to...

ItIsWhatItIsmeh-_- − I feel crushed reading this so I can’t imagine how you feel, but I fear it’s over. If you already did counseling, there’s nothing you can do but...

Outside-Ad5360 − Don't think there's anything to fix. The more you chase and all, the less he will want you. Best to just accept things and keep your dignity and...

s0meb0dyElsesProblem − Not able to make sense of the time line after the birth of the child. All that happened in the last 5 weeks?

If this is real, talk to or get a lawyer ASAP. Talk to your OB or MH provider to make sure you stay level postpartum

A few comments focused on long-term perspective and self-worth.

EdtraordinaryLi − I believe he already has another person. Could not be that female maybe he wants to BE single again. But come on i know its hard but do...

Professional-Cap5085 − I’ve gotten a few repetitive comments so I wanted to come here and clarify things so the advice is more tailored to what I will need to handle...

1. I am already in individual counseling every week for 2 hours. I started after we returned home and he brought up divorce. 2. We’ve only attended 1 counseling session.

3. This girl friend, let’s call her C, has known of me since I was pregnant. My husband is a firefighter and she’s a nurse at the hospital he drops...

4. The incident with her answering the phone: I was in another state with our son. He was at her house when I went to call and say goodnight (time...

She picked up the phone but they were playing a game at the table (we were on FaceTime so I saw them fully clothed and the game on the table).

It’s suspicious because in the past my husband would ask for permission to hang out with her and it was always in a public place.

He swears they’ve only ever talked and he goes to her for advice and he developed feelings cause she’s easy to talk to (no, I’m not stupid I don’t believe...

5. When I said I don’t want divorce advice, I meant I don’t want to just be told to get a divorce. I know I’m trying to delay the inevitable.

I want real advice from people who have gotten divorced with kids and what steps I should take. I know I won’t be able to get sole custody but want...

especially considering he lets his mom take care of our son and doesn’t spend much time with him, as well as saying in the past he can’t do this or...

Right now, he only takes him when I’m at work (8 hours a day) when he’s off. Other than that, I have him. I am back at work so this...

but even yesterday he only had him for 5 hours and his mom had our son for 3 as he was out with friends (can’t say the activity for privacies...

I have been documenting conversations and actions and have screenshots but I need more advice on how to ensure I can get my son.

6. He is the one who asked for a divorce but has no idea when he’s filing and has left most of his clothes and things at our house.

That’s why I think I’ve been so confused because he’s not moving towards divorce just saying it. Thank you everybody for the advice and cold hard truth.

I will update when a little more time passes as I am kind of in l__bo right now

Buchly_art − Why would you want to stay with someone who told you that he is not in love with you anymore?

Elfynnn84 − Oh honey, this breaks my heart. I am so sorry this is happening to you. The post-partum period can place a huge strain on a relationship and sadly

instead of working through the bad times with you, he has started to wander and look elsewhere instead. He has already committed an emotional infidelity and told you he’s not...

I am so sorry to have to say this to you so directly when you are so hormonal and hurting so much but… you cannot fix this. You cannot be...

I know that’s not what you want to hear and it’s a horrible thing for me to have to tell you, because you are in a state of desperation and...

and preparing yourself to pour your heart out into accepting s__tty behaviour, even a husband who cheats because you just love him so much… but you cannot make him love...

You cannot make him stay. You need to accept that this is happening. You need to accept that he has ended this relationship, move through the grief,

heal, and find someone more deserving of you. I know this is your darkest hour, but I promise the skies will brighten again. Stay strong, for your baby.

Independent-Win9088 − Grant the divorce and live YOUR life! It's 2025, it's time to stop begging emotionally unavailable, trash men to love you. Love yourself, let him go off into...

This story struck a nerve because it touches on betrayal during one of life’s most vulnerable moments. A new mother, still healing and deeply in love, was forced to confront a future she never planned for. While emotions run high on all sides, the situation raises difficult questions about commitment, timing, and self-respect. Should love mean fighting no matter the cost, or knowing when to let go? What would you do in her place?

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