My (20F) boyfriend (20M) said that I was embarrassing him while I was giving birth to our baby.

In a hospital room buzzing with tension, a young woman’s screams filled the air as she labored to bring her son into the world. But instead of support, her boyfriend’s harsh whispers—calling her “embarrassing”—stung like a slap. His words turned a moment of strength into one of shame.

Now, holding her newborn, she grapples with his denial and her pain. Reddit’s outrage echoes her hurt, raising questions about love and respect. Can she rebuild trust, or is it time to walk away?

‘My (20F) boyfriend (20M) said that I was embarrassing him while I was giving birth to our baby.’

We have been in a relationship for 1 year and we had a baby boy last week. I had a natural birth and my bf was there throughout the whole process. I screamed A LOT and each time I did he whispered something like 'can you stop screaming, you're really embarrassing me'. I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame.

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When I held the midwife's hand for comfort he whispered 'let go of her, stop being so embarrassing'. He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names. I'm really upset about his behaviour that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most. When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I'm being silly...

Childbirth is a crucible, testing the strength of partnerships under pressure. For this young mom, her boyfriend’s verbal lashings during labor revealed a troubling dynamic. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce” (Gottman Institute). His words ring true here, as the boyfriend’s insults and gaslighting signal a deeper lack of respect, eroding the foundation of their bond.

The young mom faced a dual betrayal: his cruelty during her vulnerability and his refusal to own it. While she screamed in pain, he prioritized his discomfort, revealing a self-centered streak. Her perspective craves validation, while his denial suggests manipulation—a tactic often tied to emotional abuse. Statistically, 1 in 4 women experience intimate partner abuse, including verbal attacks (CDC, 2020).

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This story mirrors broader issues of emotional support in relationships. Partners must navigate stress as a team, not as adversaries. Gottman’s research emphasizes “turning toward” each other in tough moments, yet this boyfriend turned away, leaving her isolated. His behavior isn’t just immature—it’s a red flag for future conflicts.

For her, moving forward means prioritizing her and her baby’s well-being. Counseling, as her mother suggested, could help, but only if both parties engage. Given his resistance, she’s wise to plan her exit. Resources like local women’s shelters or public health nurses can offer practical support (Domestic Violence Hotline).

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of shock, empathy, and some spicy karma stories. Here’s what the community had to say:

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SquilliamFancySon95 − I'm surprised your midwife didn't tell him to leave the room when he was acting like that. I'd hate to see how he copes with a crying baby. Keep your eye on him, seriously.

Acceptable_Recipe − I'm going to disagree with the people saying he needs to grow up here. Because this isn't an immaturity issue. You don't insult and degrade your partner while they give birth to your child because you're immature. You do it because you're a huge f**king a**hole. And you don't gaslight her about it afterwards because you're immature.

You do it because you're a huge *manipulative* a**hole. He's ensured that one of the biggest things you'll remember about that day is him verbally abusing you. No good person would ever do this. And I can't imagine someone being an angel up until this point either. I would bet there's more to his behavior, even before this, even if you're not aware of it.

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Takeitorleaveit28 − My husband “shooshed” me during contractions (no pain relief). A few months later, he got a kidney stone, and even with pain relief, he was crying out in pain.. Karma is a thing.. EDIT: Thanks for the awards!

princessabeccca − I’m so sorry. My child’s father (who is no longer around much and I am separated from) also acted as though I was embarrassing him. I screamed and screamed. My contractions hurt so horribly like I was being stabbed over and over and he just looked at me so rudely and literally left the room a few times. All I can remember of this day is mostly him making me feel like I was doing something wrong. I deserved better. You deserve better. Please get out now.

InvisibleBookend − I (24F) literally shat myself (a lot 🙃) while having a contraction, then my water broke a minute after. My husband (25M) helped the nurse clean me up. Then he helped hold me up as I delivered our son. Not to mention him holding everything together at home the whole time, and constantly being present and ready to help at any moment.

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That is all said to assure you that your bfs behavior is NOT normal and is NOT acceptable. You're not being silly. This is a huge red flag, and a big indicator of what his future behavior will be like in stressful situations. Please don't feel like you have to stay with him just because you have a baby together. You deserve better than this.

jack_skellington − he denies ever saying it Holy s**t. It's one thing if he fell apart in the hospital room because of stress, but it's a whole other thing to deny his *horrible* behavior days later. This is just flat-out lying to you. You were there! You know it's a lie, and he *still* tries it! His level of disrespect for you knows no bounds. Do you really want this dude filling the mind of your baby with all his s**tty ideas & behaviors?

formerbarracuda6 − Given that he’s not apologizing but instead denying it ever happened, I don’t think this is going to get better. Sounds like the beginnings of an abusive relationship to me.

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[Reddit User] − Oh. My. God. D**p this man. Like, seriously. If he didn’t brush your hair out of your face, tell you you’re doing fantastic, or look at you like he’s madly in love with you, then he isn’t the one, sister. Let. That. Man. Go.

brindey − He had one job during your labor: to support you. He failed at his first task as a father.. He will fail again. He’s an a**hole. D**p him and go concentrate on caring for your baby and yourself.

scorpio6519 − Why are people calling this vicious man immature? Children become very upset and try to help when someone they love is in pain or not well. This guy is a f**king s**iopath. Please OP,

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I know you now have a baby with this guy but it would be great n the best interest of you and the baby not to live with him. Hopefully he would quickly lose interest in the child and disappear. This is harsh but I guarantee this behaviour will progress to physical abuse. Please take care of yourself

These hot takes from Reddit are raw and real, but do they capture the full picture? Is this a one-off lapse or a glimpse into a toxic pattern?

This young mom’s story is a gut-punch, laying bare the sting of betrayal when support was needed most. Her courage to confront the issue and plan a new path for her and her baby speaks volumes. But the question lingers: can trust be rebuilt after such a public shaming, or is walking away the only answer? What would you do if you faced a partner’s cruelty at your most vulnerable? Drop your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep this conversation going.

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