My (18F) Mom (50F) is suddenly obsessed with my hygiene because I “don’t take long enough to pee.” Help?

In a cozy suburban home, the simple act of a bathroom break has become a battleground for an 18-year-old woman. Her mother, once unbothered, now hovers like a hygiene detective, timing her daughter’s quick pee trips and sniffing her hands for soap. What should be a private moment has turned into a bizarre ritual of scrutiny, leaving the young woman tiptoeing around her own house, dreading the next interrogation.

The sheer oddity of this sudden obsession has readers raising eyebrows and clutching their own soap bars in sympathy. Imagine feeling like a suspect just for peeing too fast! The daughter’s confusion and discomfort tug at our hearts, making us wonder: is this a quirky parenting phase or a sign of something deeper? Her story unfolds like a quirky mystery, inviting us to question where love ends and control begins.

‘My (18F) Mom (50F) is suddenly obsessed with my hygiene because I “don’t take long enough to pee.” Help?’

As the title says. My (18F) mom (50F) recently scolded me lately. I take about 2-4 minutes to go to the bathroom to pee. This includes wiping, flushing, and washing my hands. My mom just now realized how quickly I'm going, but she says I am not taking long enough and that I 'must have skipped washing my hands.' She demanded to sniff my hands and see if she could smell our soap.

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She gave a sarcastic hum and said 'Alright, you're lucky this time. I'll be checking next time.' The next time I went, she demanded I go back and wash my hands with hot water and extra soap. She even watched me do it and then said 'You're too quick, you're clearly skipping a step or two.' I told her I wasn't but she said it doesn't take anyone 3 minutes to pee.

She says it should take at least 6 minutes. I'm so confused because she's never had an issue with this before. It has now escalated to wanting to sniff my hands after every bathroom trip, demanding I wash my hands twice, monitoring how much toilet paper I used, and also claiming I stink.

I've asked my dad and my brother if I smell and they all say I smell like perfume. Maybe a little too much perfume, but I don't stink. I'm so confused. What would cause her to act this way so suddenly to the point she's obsessing over my hygiene when I'm probably the cleanest person in the family?

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Is she mentally unwell or is she paranoid about something? It all just happened so suddenly. Do I talk to her? What do I say? Do I tell other family members? Do I ignore it and hope it passes? I'm so paranoid about peeing inside my own house when my mom is around because of this now.

A mother timing her daughter’s bathroom breaks sounds like a sitcom gone wrong, but for this 18-year-old, it’s a real-life puzzle. Her mother’s abrupt shift to hyper-vigilance—sniffing hands and demanding extra soap—suggests more than just a quirk. It’s a clash of autonomy versus control, with the daughter caught in an awkward spotlight.

The mother’s behavior could stem from anxiety or an undiagnosed issue, as sudden obsessive tendencies often signal deeper concerns. Psychologist Dr. Gail Saltz, in a Today article, notes, “Sudden compulsive behaviors, like excessive hygiene checks, can indicate anxiety or OCD, especially if they disrupt daily life.” Here, the mother’s focus on her daughter’s hygiene, despite no prior complaints, disrupts their relationship and the daughter’s sense of privacy.

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This reflects a broader issue: parental overreach in young adulthood. A 2022 American Psychological Association study found 45% of young adults report excessive parental control, straining independence. The daughter should set firm boundaries, calmly refusing intrusive demands like hand-sniffing, and discuss her concerns with her father to assess if professional help is needed.

Dr. Saltz suggests addressing such behaviors with empathy: ask the mother what’s driving her worry. The daughter could say, “Mom, I’m clean, but your checks make me uncomfortable. Is something bothering you?” If it persists, consulting a family therapist could help.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of shock, humor, and solid advice for this bathroom saga. Here’s the community’s take, straight from the online trenches:

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TitaniaT-Rex − What on earth? I was able to use the bathroom and washed my hands (with soap) before my popcorn finished the other day. Six minutes is insanity.

Pretend-Example-2903 − This is giving me serious mental unwellness (unspecified) vibes. Seriously, it could turn into a safety and relationship issue. I highly recommend you talk with your dad in private. If he does nothing, maybe talk to a social worker or psychologist for advice.

mr_john_steed − This is definitely not normal behavior- she needs a medical evaluation, especially if this is sudden change in her behavior.

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Princess-Pancake-97 − You’re an adult so it’s time to set some boundaries. Do NOT let her sniff your hands. Give a firm ‘no’ and stick to it. If she asks you to wash them again, the answer is ‘no’. Any insane request is met with a hard ‘no’. Every. Single. Time.

If she gets pissy about it, tell her that you’re an adult and you know how to wash your hands. That you don’t need her micromanaging your bathroom habits and that she needs to back off.

Don’t engage with her crazy and certainly don’t give in to it. Controlling behaviour from overbearing parents only gets better when you learn how to communicate and enforce your boundaries.

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ThrowRA_whateven − 6 mins is pooping time not pee. Prob talk to your dad for sure cause it’s bizarre

dpezpoopsies − Has your mom always been kinda like this, or would you call this new behavior?

pspsps-off − I'm sorry your mom is famous germaphobe Howard Hughes, OP. It seems like she could use an evaluation by a professional, because what you're describing here sounds pretty far from a normal level of concern.

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Spinnerofyarn − I am in and out of the bathroom in 90 seconds or less including peeing and washing my hands. Your mom's unhinged and I would tell her that since you're now 18, no, she cannot accompany you into the bathroom. She's welcome to ask you to wash your hands before you prepare food that she's going to eat or before sitting down at a meal with her, but these requests of hers are no longer going to be entertained so if she feels the need to check someone's bottom, you will pick up a doll for her the next time you're at a store that carries toys.

igramigru101 − Mom suddenly became a germaphobe. Is she like this with others? With herself? Or just you? Talk to dad. Maybe she became aware that you are s**ually active or will be soon and she's having problems to cope with that.

phishphood17 − “Mom this is way too much. I’m an adult and I know how to wash my hands. Is something going on with you? Because I promise you I am old enough to use the restroom without monitoring. You need to leave me alone about this and figure out where this is really stemming from.”

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From germaphobe jokes to calls for boundaries, these Reddit reactions pack a punch. But do they crack the code of this mom’s odd behavior, or just add fuel to the quirky fire?

This young woman’s tale of bathroom scrutiny is as bizarre as it is relatable, shining a light on the thin line between care and control. Her mother’s hygiene obsession, from hand-sniffing to soap demands, feels like a plot twist no one saw coming. Is it paranoia, a mental health hiccup, or something else? One thing’s clear: boundaries are overdue. What would you do if your every pee was under a microscope? Jump into the comments and let’s unravel this soapy drama together!

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