Me [26F] with husband [26M] of 4 years. He sold his truck because of our baby and hasn’t been the same since?

A significant life transition often brings unexpected heartache, even when it is born out of responsibility. The weekend, once filled with the anticipation of welcoming a new life, turned bittersweet as one cherished part of the past—a beloved truck—was sacrificed for a more practical future. The atmosphere at home shifted from carefree laughter to a quiet melancholy, symbolizing the unexpected price of growing up.

In this rapidly changing reality, the husband’s identity, closely intertwined with his truck and his long-standing social circle, has been deeply affected. The loss goes far beyond a simple vehicle sale—it represents a farewell to a pivotal hobby and the early days of freedom. The couple now stands at a crossroads, grappling with the loss while preparing for the challenges of parenthood.

‘Me [26F] with husband [26M] of 4 years. He sold his truck because of our baby and hasn’t been the same since?’

My husband and I have been together for 4 years and married for 2 of the those years. We always planned on having children but 7 months ago we found out it was happening a lot sooner than we imagined. He bought the truck right before we met. He loved it. I guess you could say he was even slightly obsessed with it.

I knew this before we started dating and it didn't change in the 4 years we have been together. He spent a lot of money on it and continued to spend a lot of money on it. Everything he did in his spare time had to due with his truck. All his friends are truck guys like him and he's even in this cute little truck club.

Since we've been together I don't think we have taken my car anywhere we have been together actually. He doesn't make great money but he likes his job and still paid his portion of everything so I never had a problem with him spending his little bit of extra money on his truck.

We found out I was pregnant and we were both scared, shocked and excited. A few months ago he brought up that he doesn't know if he'll be able to afford the truck and the baby. I didn't even know if it would be practical with how big and loud the truck is.

We didn't talk about it for a while and then a few weeks ago he told me as much as he didn't want to he was going to try and sell the truck because the baby was getting so close. He said he couldn't afford the payments and upkeep and maintenance on the truck if we were raising a child.

He was is good spirits about it and found potential buyers very quickly. He sold it a couple days later for what he wanted and bought a car the next day. It's been around 3 weeks since he sold the truck and he has changed completely. We are always laughing and having fun together and I don't think I've seen him smile since.

I've done everything I can think of to make him feel better and to get his mind off it and nothing has worked. He just comes home from work and watches TV until bed. He's mopey and just drains the energy out of the room as mean as that sounds.

I asked him why he hasn't been hanging out with his friends anymore and he told me because he sold his truck. He said everything they did was related to that somehow and it wouldn't be the same.

Last night he told me he feels resentment and bitterness towards me even tho it was 100% his decision to sell the truck and he doesn't know why he feels that way. What can I do to help him get past all this? Is he depressed? I just don't know what to do. I know it was just a truck but it had more of an impact on him than I thought it would.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Letting go of a lifelong passion isn’t just about parting with an object—it can signify a major shift in identity. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman once stated, “What matters is not avoiding change, but how we manage and grow from it,” underscoring that transitions can test even the strongest bonds. His insight reminds us that grief and uncertainty often accompany significant life changes, as old roles and hobbies give way to new responsibilities.

Looking at the husband’s situation, one can see that the truck was more than a vehicle; it was a repository for memories, a symbol of freedom, and a cornerstone of his social life. The gradual shift to homebound isolation suggests that his inner turmoil is not merely about financial adjustments, but a deeper mourning of a part of his identity. The change in his mood underscores a common psychological reaction to perceived loss, even when the decision is rational and necessary.

As relationships evolve, so do personal priorities. With the imminent arrival of their baby, the husband may be wrestling with the fear of losing an essential aspect of who he is, even as he makes the right choice for the family’s future. Dr. Gottman’s perspective encourages couples to openly communicate through such transitions, ensuring that both partners feel heard and supported. His words resonate here, as the husband’s silent grief signals unmet emotional needs amid the hustle of impending parenthood.

In practical terms, couples experiencing similar dilemmas are encouraged to reframe the loss as the beginning of a new chapter. Budgeting for the future doesn’t mean discarding personal passions forever.

Sometimes, channeling the grief into new, manageable projects—like exploring affordable automotive hobbies or planning future upgrades—can pave the way for healing. Establishing a clear dialogue about these sacrifices can transform silent sorrow into shared strength, helping both partners navigate the transition with empathy and optimism.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—raw, candid, and mixed with a dose of humor. Many users empathize with the husband’s emotional struggle and suggest creative solutions, such as finding a project truck or exploring alternative automotive hobbies.

These opinions echo the central concern: while practical decisions may be necessary, the emotional toll is real. Do these insights reflect the broader reality of navigating life’s unexpected sacrifices?

kuranei − You husband sound like someone who is hands on, and really enjoyed tinkering with his truck. Why not have him get a project truck? Older model that needs repair work, maybe an engine rebuild. Plan a budget for it, lets say $100/month, and if he needs an expensive part he can save / look for a sale. This would give him something to work on, and a change of pace from work and soon to be child.

Marzy-d − Having kids is a big change, and with selling his truck, I think your husband is realizing just how big a change it is going to be. For the next 18 years, someone else's needs are going to come before his. Even if you are totally on board and excited, that can be a hard realization.

I think you guys should go over the family budget, and be sure to carve out some money that is just for you guys, for adult fun things like date night, electronics, and all those gadget type things guys seem to love. When your husband sees that it isn't going to be all just diapers and kids clothes, but that his hobbies can be indulged, even if less than he has been used to, it should make him feel better.

Also, sign up for some parenting classes. It will get you both on the same page with child-rearing, and give him something to do in the evenings besides m**e about the truck. As a side note, babies really don't have to be that expensive.

If you are willing to buy used stuff, you can get outfitted for pennies on the dollar. We used a good kids consignment shop to buy and sell baby things (they grow out of stuff faster than you can imagine) and it really cut down on the cost of clothing and equipment.

[Reddit User] − I honestly think this is about more than just the truck - I think he's coming to the hard realization of how different his life is going to be after the baby. Talk to him about it and let him know that you are proud of him for making the right decision for the family, and that you know this is hard.

Be open about how this is affecting you as well - having a kid is scary, even for people that planned for a baby. It's normal to feel really happy about a new baby, but it's also normal to feel depressed and think about the sacrifices he's giving up. At the end of the day you just need to support each other through this

and once the baby arrives and he starts forming a bond with the kid, he will think less about his truck. But having a kid isn't all fun and games, and the first couple months are going to be the hardest thing you ever go through together. Just continue to communicate and support each other, and make sure you let him know how much you appreciate what he did.

[Reddit User] − The truck was a big part of his life and identity and social circle. Maybe he shouldn't have let it build up into such a big part in the first place, but it's not surprising he's feeling unmoored now. He *does* need to get the resentment toward you under control, though.

Reassure him that he can still be a

Then offer to help him work out a savings plan for getting a new truck when things have stabilized more. In the interim, maybe some of his friends have repair projects he could help with?

panic_bread − Sounds like it was a huge mistake to sell that truck. People don't have to give up who they are just because they have children. Maybe he wouldn't have had the money to keep it in tip top shape, but who cares. Encourage him to take some of the money from the sale and buy a less expensive truck.

CraazyMike − Sounds like he not only gave up his truck, but also his social circle. Being cut off from your friends feels incredibly lonely. Maybe reach out to his truck buddies for some ideas on how to re-engage him into their circle. Maybe they can find a project truck they can all work in together. If he's close with them then surely even they don't want him to just disappear.

Cyclonitron − husband of 4 years sold his truck because he knew he wouldn't be able to afford it and the baby. Ever since he has been acting completely different.. There's got to be a country music song somewhere in this...

OminousOmnipotence − All I can offer you husband is empathy. When my first daughter was born, we were living on $35k a year in an expensive part of the country. My motorcycle broke and it was far too expensive to fix. The biggest expense was putting my wife on my insurance.. That was in Nov of 2007. It left a hole but I found new hobbies and things to do that I identified with.

It doesn't replace but it fills the void. AND.... This year, after more than eight years, my youngest daughter is done with daycare and I am going down to buy a new motorcycle. So, he wont be without a truck the rest of his life.. . He prioritized his family and it sucks but he's allowed to grieve losing a part of himself.

CommanderRabbit − The truck was likely the trigger for this whole baby thing sinking in. My husband is a biker (like bicycles not motorcycles) and when I was pregnant we bought a second car because you can't take a newborn on your track bike. He threw a fit about losing his biker status and whined for weeks about how much he was losing something he loved.

Later he told me that was really when it hit how life changing the baby would be. I try to give him time to bike to some random errand a couple times a week and we are having a bakfiet built (the bikes with the cargo box on the front) so we can bike with the baby. Is there something similar you can do with him? Maybe a cheaper truck that doesn't require so much upkeep or even renting a truck every so often.

Other than that, he needs to deal with his resentment towards you. My husband was quite adamant that he was completely not stressed by the impending baby, that is until I forced him into a few sessions of therapy because he was clearly having a hard time with it. My guess is this is much bigger than resentment about a truck, he just hasn't really processed the reality of parenthood.

bad-monkey − I can empathize with your husband. I've given up a lot of the things that I love because I've got three kids now. I was riding motorcycles, surfing, cycling, snowboarding, fishing, playing basketball, and other active lifestyle things before I had my kids, and now I go fishing twice a year and go to the racetrack (to drive my car, not even the mc) once, if i'm lucky.

There are times when I miss the things that made me happy, and while I don't necessarily resent my kids for effectively ending that lifestyle, I do grapple with the feeling of loss because it feels like I'll never do those things again. But, it doesn't take much for me to realize that this is all temporary and what would be even better is for my kids to join me and learn about my passions.

I can't wait to take my kids tuna fishing, or teach them how to take care of tools and change differential oil. I can't wait to take em surfing or skiing or expose them to the many wonderful things that life has to offer and spend time with them doing fun things. It's hard for your husband to realize this because you haven't had the baby. And it's going to get a lot harder before it gets easier.

But as a wife, I think you can reassure him that this is all temporary and that there is joy in teaching and sharing his hobbies down the line, too. And be supportive of his hobby (which it sounds like you are) so long as he's responsible about it. You can tell him that now is the time to make some extra sacrifices and save some money, and pretty soon he can get back into it.

I'm not sure what kind of truck guy he is, but maybe he should look into buying a project truck for cheap and slowly turn it exactly into what he wants to be? There's joy in that too. Case in point, my wife has never liked the motorcycles, but she never said that she would oppose my b**t being back in the saddle for the rest of my life.

When I came to that realization, it was a lot harder to accept (and I still haven't) and it was harder not to feel resentment towards her for it. It would have been easier had she been more upfront about it, and I would probably write it off completely if she wasn't so unsupportive of the things that I do to make up for that loss in life.

In conclusion, this story highlights the delicate interplay between practicality and personal identity. The decision to sell the truck, while necessary for financial reasons and future stability, has left the husband grappling with a profound sense of loss. The couple now faces a challenging yet transformative journey as they adjust to parenthood.

What would you do if you were forced to choose between a cherished hobby and a new future? Share your thoughts and join the discussion—your perspective might resonate with someone facing a similar crossroads.

For those who want to read the sequel: UPDATE: Me [26F] with husband [26M] of 4 years. He sold his truck because of our baby and hasn’t been the same since? 

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