Man Discovers His Fiancée Stalked Him for Months Before They Met, Now He’s Reconsidering the Wedding

One man thought he had stumbled into the perfect relationship, when a drunken confession revealed his magical meet-cute was actually a calculated, months-long stalking operation. He believed it was beautiful serendipity after repeatedly bumping into a charming neighbor at the grocery store, the local coffee shop, and on his daily running trail. Now, the revelation has him questioning the foundation of their entire three-year romance. Want the juicy details? Dive into the original story below!

Man Discovers His Fiancée Stalked Him for Months Before They Met, Now He's Reconsidering the Wedding

My (28M) girlfriend, who recently became my fiancée (25F), apparently stalked me before we started dating. How do I deal with being creeped out by her now?

A little over three years ago, I moved to a new city for work. About this time three years ago, I moved into a new house in this city. The...

For the first month or so, I had little interaction with the neighbors other than a friendly wave and/or "How are you? " Shortly after coming back from one of...

My fiancée's sister lived across the street with her husband and their two kids. We made casual small talk, which, in retrospect, I think was intended to ascertain if I...

4th of July comes, and I was just planning to stay at the house. Late afternoon, Kim and Lisa stop by and plead with me to come over and have...

What seemed like a string of lucky neighborhood coincidences was actually a carefully executed plan.

After this experience, I start to see Kim regularly when I am out and about. There is a grocery store near the neighborhood, and I would see her there. I...

About six months into living there, I am doing a run on the trail around the neighborhood. I see Kim, and she flags me down. She said that she lost...

We walk for about 15 minutes, and I keep calling. She eventually finds it covered by some leaves a little ways off the trail. Shortly after this experience, she offers...

She seems to have similar interests to me, and we have a good conversation. Shortly after that, we start dating. Our relationship progresses. About a year ago, she moves in...

The illusion of romantic serendipity vanished entirely during a casual afternoon by the pool.

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About a month ago, one of her friends found out that her boyfriend she was living with was cheating. Some days later, she came over to the house. I worked...

Mostly it was the standard, "F*** that dude" for cheating. At one point, Kim asked me to get them more wine, so I did. After bringing it back, they started...

" Kim's response was, "I can give you the stalking to get your man 101 course," and then talked about figuring out a guy's schedule, showing up to the places...

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Her friend stayed over, and we had a pretty chill night. The next morning her friend left. What she said about the stalking really bothered me, so I asked about...

, and would be there. She had been trying to get me to ask her out for months. After things did not work, her and her sister came up with...

When a partner’s meet-cute turns out to be a manufactured event, the sudden loss of agency can be jarring. In psychology, the boundary between romantic pursuit and stalking is frequently blurred by cultural narratives. We are fed a steady diet of Hollywood rom-coms where persistence is framed as ultimate devotion.

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Our primal need for attachment can sometimes make unhealthy obsession look like true love. In this situation, the fiancée’s behavior mimics the classic persistent romantic trope—orchestrating encounters to force a connection. While some view this as harmless courtship, it fundamentally strips the other person of their autonomy.

The primary concern isn’t necessarily the initial crush; it’s the lack of remorse and the casual framing of manipulation as a joke. If the original poster wants to move forward, couples counseling is essential to establish baseline honesty. He needs to know if this manufactured reality extends to other areas of their relationship. Rebuilding trust will require her to acknowledge why her actions violated his boundaries, rather than just brushing it off.

Ultimately, navigating a relationship built on a hidden foundation requires deep reflection and open communication. Do you think her actions were a harmless strategy to find love, or a massive red flag that warrants ending the engagement? And how would you react if you discovered your partner orchestrated your entire courtship? Share your thoughts below!

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Community Opinions

Reddit came in hot—nearly split down the middle between those who found the behavior terrifying and those who thought it was just a harmless, old-school romantic pursuit.

u/tossout7878 Imagine if you had done this to her. Imagine how fast her friends would be telling her to run. Imagine if you found out one of your buddies did...

u/CantaloupeShort7311
She was interested in you, why didn't she ask you out?

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u/Subject-Image7067 Its the precision of timing, the whole losing the phone setup where she hides it, and the fact she NEVER mentions it in your relationship. She knows it was...

u/2cats5legs So this sounds to me like someone who probably watched too many romcoms. She freely admitted it to you and didn't think it was something to be ashamed of....

u/Forward_Patience_854 I find it amazing how many people act shocked. Like in highschool they never figured out their crushes schedule and tried to walk in the same hall to run...

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u/onestonermama I don’t know. I mean, the way you framed it obviously sounds like a stalker. But if it were framed slightly different this would just sound like you met...

u/patty202 Absolutely creepy. She could have been honest and just asked you to lunch or coffee. I don't know that you can get over feeling manipulated. What will she be...

u/Confident_Jacket1043 In all honesty, it's a bit weird, yes. Creepy? Sure. But unless she was literally following you around everywhere, I don't think it's actual stalking. She was really into...

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u/Sypheix I'm on the fence on this one. I'm a believer in if you want something, you go get it. She showed up in places you frequent, which isn't that...

u/srirachacha420 Wow this is SO creepy imo, I'm a woman and the thought of my boyfriend doing this prior to us dating makes my skin crawl. I don't see why...

u/mochajava23 She used the word “stalking” but was it really? Did she lie about activities you supposedly shared (eg. Running, swimming, music) that she actually does not share? If she...

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u/Justtryingtohelp1317 Omg I see it so differently. You seem rather clueless that a woman is interested in you. You’re lucky she pursued or you’d still be spending July 4 alone...

u/No-Consideration-858 Does she love and respect to you? Do you feel happy with her? If so, it seems good. Before dating apps, people created all kinds of scenarios to woo...

u/FaithlessnessTall853 Wow all this time who knew I was a stalker. I saw a girl that was just absolutely beautiful, so after not having gone to church for a couple...

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u/CZFangirl
She’s the female version of Joe Goldberg from You on Netflix. That would creep me out too.

Ultimately, a few commenters reminded everyone that the real issue isn't how they met, but whether she respects his feelings about it now.

Is it romantic persistence, or a massive red flag? Do you think her actions were a harmless way to land a date, or did her orchestrated meet-cutes cross the line into manipulative territory? And if you found out your partner planned your entire courtship, how would you react? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

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