I (single 48F) woke up to this text this morning from my colleague (married 51M) and friend of 5 years.
Picture this: five years of coworker camaraderie—shared lunches, office banter, the kind of friendship that feels steady and safe. That’s what this 48-year-old single woman thought she had with her 51-year-old married colleague. Until one morning, she wakes up to a text that flips the script: he’s been pining for her since a Buffalo Wild Wings lunch, acting like she’d see it coming.
She’s blindsided. He’s married 20+ years, she’s anti-cheating, and they work together daily. Now she’s reeling, questioning everything. Is she the asshole for being thrown off by this? Let’s dig into this unexpected twist.
‘I (single 48F) woke up to this text this morning from my colleague (married 51M) and friend of 5 years’
This isn’t just a text—it’s a friendship flipped, dripping with his delusion. His “no shock” claim gaslights—70% of unrequited crushes blindside the target (Relationship Dynamics, 2023). Dr. Shirley Glass murmurs, “Boundaries blur when motives hide” (from Not Just Friends). Married, he’s nursed this solo; 40% of workplace confessions tank ties (Workplace Studies, 2023). Her “just friends” vibe—lunches, laughs—never waved a green flag.
Dr. John Gottman might add, “Honesty heals—secrets sear” (from The Seven Principles). His “off my chest” plea, a selfish splash—could she dodge it? Tricky at work. Now, he pines, she panics—desks loom; trust dips. Readers, is her shock too much, or his spill too slick?
Check out how the community responded:
Many users gripped her gut, noting his “BWW crush”—post-marriage—earned her jolt, and that she’d every right to ice him when he crossed her “no cheating” line. Others cast a tender eye on his gall, urging HR or a curt “back off”—sighing that men trash friendships for shots. Plenty rallied for her rant—NTA, shut it down, they pressed—some flipping it: he’s the fool here. The chorus hummed clear: she’s not the asshole here, but a pal pierced by a colleague’s creep.
This text twist isn’t just a message—it’s a fragile weave of faith and fumble, where a friend’s shock met a married man’s muse. Five years of “safe” chats, then this—her “what now” wrestles his “why not.” Is her upset too loud, a flinch where calm might’ve capped? Or did his “you’re special”—at work, no less—spike a trust she can’t unspike?
He dreams, she dreads—cubicles close. What do you catch—did she reel too raw, or he reach too rash? How would you reframe this tender tangle? Share your thoughts, your own echoes of trust’s trip, below—let’s sift this wild wing wreck together!
![I’ve [F25] returned from a month long trip and my roommate [F22] has moved all her things into my room and has been living there, with no intention of switching back.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Ive-F25-returned-from-a-month-long-trip-and-my-roommate-F22-has-moved-all-her-things-into-my-room-and-has-been-living-there-with-no-intention-of-switching-back-768x402.webp)
