I had a single mother arrested/suing for ruining my engagement, WITAH?

Planning a proposal is supposed to be exciting, maybe stressful, but ultimately joyful. For one man, months of planning, years of failed reservations, and a significant financial investment were all meant to culminate in a perfect moment with the woman he loved. Instead, that moment collapsed the second he arrived and realized everything had been destroyed.

What followed wasn’t just heartbreak, but a difficult decision that split opinions down the middle. Police were called, a stranger was arrested, and a lawsuit soon followed. As the story spread across social media, readers argued fiercely about responsibility, compassion, and whether being a single parent should ever excuse destructive behavior. The reactions ranged from full support to outright disbelief, turning a ruined engagement into a heated moral debate.

I had a single mother arrested/suing for ruining my engagement, WITAH?

What began as a carefully planned romantic gesture quickly turned into something far more devastating

I did admittedly take it as far as I could. I could have let it go and moved on. But I was so mad at the time and effort ruined...

He explained why this specific location and moment mattered so deeply to him

I had met my SO at a public park. This area isn't a very busy populated area it's more of a nature preserve park with lots of areas to sit...

lots of trails, big share structures and areas you can rent for parties etc with BBQ pits, rental boats and a large lake.

The area I rented is off a trail overlooking the lake, it's sectioned off with when gates and when you rent it there's a sign put up that the area...

Securing the space took years of effort and careful planning

It's usually reserved by weddings, and it's rare to get a date because it fills up the day they begin seasonal renting. I had to BUY my rental off someone...

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Both years had alarms set for the minute they went up, and I had multiple days ready to reserve and every time within minutes I was boxed out.

It was only by chance I was able to find someone that had reserved it for a an event that wasn't happened and I was able to buy it off...

But it was super important to me to do this where we met and I was trying to make it perfect, because my SO never had this kind of thought...

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She was not treated well by her family, she was abandoned by her parents, her first husband was abusive and didn't do any kind of romantic gestures.

The proposal itself was designed to feel like something out of a movie

I planned a fantasy picnic. I bought multiple structures, one for a catered brunch, and one with lots of pillows and blankets and with a set up to watch her...

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I had hired professional for the whole thing to make it perfect. It was luxurious. Billowing gauzy curtains, fresh fruit and cheese, omelettes, champagne, etc. It was supposed to be...

All morning I was in communication with the set up crew. I was barely able to keep it a secret. I got my soon to be fiance to dress up...

and brought her out to the park under the impression we were going to be having a nice chill stroll. But when I got to the area, I was mortified....

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but when we got to the area I saw this lady and 4 kids all jumping around our set up. The were eating the food, tearing down the curtains, there...

They had taken the movie space over and was blasting music through the speakers. The area was trashed. It was but salvageable.

They had a food fight inside the structures too, the lady (the mother) had the bottle if champagne stuffed into her purse and sipping off it.

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Confrontation only escalated the situation further

I confronted her. She had tried saying she thought it was abandoned because it was there all morning and the kids wanted to play in it, and she didn't think...

I told her these are reserved and rented areas. There's weddings here multiple days of the week, you didn't just attend them because it's a park. This was not for...

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She kept acting like I was wrong for not seeing it her way and I was crazy for thinking it wouldn't be taken advantage of my people in the park.

I called the police while he kids were trashing the space. I knew that thered be damages and figured I needed a police report

because the companies I hired for all these things would need to recover the costs for all the damages. The kids were literally hanging off structure poles breaking them while...

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The police took a report and photos. They did cuff her and take her in, but it was because the way she was acting and as far as I'm aware...

because she was physically pushing and yelling at the officers with an open bottle. I am still not totally sure the outcome with all of that but it wasn't specifically...

I decided to press charges when I saw how much the damages would cost me, and also the brilliant business that I had hired. I didn't want to leave them...

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The damage, both emotional and financial, was severe

The damages they did was nearly triple the cost I paid for everything to begin with. All that and I still didn't have the opportunity to ask her to marry...

The entire place just feels wrong to do it now and after all that money and effort I feel like I need time to do something special for her. But...

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My SO and her family think that I'm being totally out of line hiding this single mother accountable for these damages. Her family isn't great to begin with,

but they are the type that would see something nice for her get ruined and convince her that she didn't deserve it to begin with, and that's what she gets...

For instance her first car was hit in a hit and run while parked in front of her house and absolutely totaled she was distraught and her family was basically...

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and she should have gotten something crappy so when it gets ruined it's not a huge loss. They get in her head and convince her that I'm wrong here for...

and that I should eat the cost because they didn't do anything wrong it was left out and they used it and I should have been more careful.

What hurt just as much was the reaction from his partner’s family

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They think I'm a monster for ruining this lady's life by putting her in the position to be arrested in front of her children and taking a single mother's money...

(which I wouldn't have if she didn't refuse accountability in the first place). But I am doing everything the right way, I paid off the small businesses so they didn't...

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and wait and I filed the police report and I'm taking her through Court this is the way any person would do it and I don't think it's m__strous to...

At its core, this situation raises a hard question: where does compassion end and accountability begin? The poster invested significant time, money, and emotional energy into an event meant to celebrate love. The damage wasn’t theoretical, it was physical, documented, and costly. Expecting accountability in that context is a standard response, not an act of cruelty.

From the other side, critics point out that public spaces come with risks. Leaving expensive items unattended, even with signage, opens the door to misuse. While that may explain how the situation occurred, it doesn’t erase responsibility for actively damaging property that clearly did not belong to someone else.

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Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist known for her work on entitlement and accountability, has said, “Empathy doesn’t mean excusing harmful behavior. It means understanding while still allowing consequences.” That distinction matters here. The woman’s status as a single mother may evoke sympathy, but it doesn’t negate the choices she made, especially if alcohol and refusal to cooperate were involved.

Practically speaking, conflicts like this often spiral because emotions override communication. The poster did what many businesses and individuals are advised to do: document damages, pay vendors promptly, and pursue reimbursement through legal channels. A calmer alternative might have involved mediation, but once law enforcement was involved and damages escalated, the path forward narrowed quickly. Accountability isn’t about punishment alone, it’s about repairing harm. Without that principle, responsibility loses meaning altogether.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many users firmly backed the poster, arguing that entitlement has consequences

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Hausmannlife_Schweiz − NTA. She knew.

BeeYehWoo − So if it were a *wed mother with a partner* then it would not be wrong to sue her? You are NTA

Both-Cold3987 − NTAH, my opinion. Status (single mom) irrelevant. Someone that would do this and make excuses (thought it was abandoned)

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generally would have no respect and definitely a sense of entitlement. If SO can’t understand, after the magnitude of effort and $$ you put out, then perhaps they may not...

SO focus should be on the lengths you went to for a romantic, memorable proposal. SO needs therapy for their families n__cissism and trauma it caused.

Hope you stay strong, sounds like they will be trying to sabotage your relationship if SO doesn’t resolve or set boundaries.

user9372889 − Definitely NTA. I’m a single mom. There’s no excuse in the universe that would justify what that AH did. Hold her accountable. Actions have consequences. The end.

Others questioned the logistics and credibility, expressing serious doubts

celticmusebooks − Seeing some "plot holes" here. Multiple structures with food, movie equipment set up but NO ONE watching over it? Not buying it. Not buying that the mom stuck...

Nicholas_Cage_Fan − Lmao yta for making this story up (although it was a decent read). No f__king way multiple companies are just going to set up thousands in equipment in...

"aight, we out" and leave it there for hours. Food prepped that long before you got there, and leaving alcohol on display in a public space where kids frequent? Ok,...

Content-Potential191 − Smells like b__lshit, sir. A big nature park, all that stuff was going to be gone or ruined even without human assistance if you and your "brilliant"

vendors just left it all alone unmonitored for hours and hours. Considering all the expensive equipment that was also left unattended, nothing in this story is remotely credible.

peppermintvalet − INFO: so no one was there from the company before you got there? You just left food out in the open unattended in a park for who knows...

Some commenters mixed criticism with partial support

[Reddit User] − Nta she didn't have a right to do it and she's a s__t mother if she's drinking and letting her kids break stuff show her some consequences

butterfly-garden − NTA. You handled an entitled b__ch who let her children vandalize property they didn't own.

foosbabaganoosh − So who was coordinating this, that they set up this apparently extravagant, complicated setting, and just left?

Was there an attempt to time it where you’d show up right as they finish setting it up? Did they just set it up and leave not giving a s__t...

-YTA for setting up a public thing and not accounting for literally anything happening to it unsupervised. -YTA for this fake-ass post.

HimmelensKonge − NTA - Though really you should have booked off the entire morning and been there from the start, rather than leaving it unattended. ..

Especially with food and alcohol just left there. You think a mere sign is going to stop people? You're honestly lucky some homeless people didn't come in and swipe it...

hierofantissa − NTA I would have had her arrested myself. But please tell us where you are that you thought you could leave a party set up with food! unattended...

Ken-Popcorn − I find it hard to believe that you left this elaborate setup, including food and liquor unattended. Sorry, I’m not buying this

MinistryofTruthAgent − Based on everything you’ve written I think suing her is not an ahole move but what kind of charges are you pressing?

This story sits squarely at the intersection of responsibility, privilege, and expectation. One side sees a ruined milestone and justified accountability, while the other sees preventable risk and a harsh outcome. What’s clear is that good intentions don’t shield anyone from consequences, whether that’s leaving valuables unattended or damaging property that isn’t yours. In moments like these, perspective shapes judgment. If your once-in-a-lifetime moment were destroyed, where would you draw the line?

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