I found out my (28m) wife (27f) is cheating on me with her best friends husband. Do I tell his wife?

Shirley Stafford May 8, 2025

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In a quiet suburban home, a man’s world shatters with a single, searing moment. A 28-year-old husband, expecting a quick stop to grab a forgotten item, walks in on his wife entangled with her best friend’s husband. His heart races, fury erupts, and the sting of betrayal burns deep. His wife, grappling with bipolar disorder, had flirted with others before, but this crosses a line that can’t be uncrossed. He sends her packing and calls a lawyer, but a heavier choice looms.

This raw Reddit confession captures the chaos of infidelity and the moral weight of truth. Torn between rage and responsibility, the man debates whether to tell his wife’s best friend, knowing it’ll devastate her too. Reddit’s buzzing with fiery takes, and we’re diving into this gut-punch of a story to unravel the heartbreak, the anger, and the path forward. His journey through betrayal’s wreckage begins here.

‘I found out my (28m) wife (27f) is cheating on me with her best friends husband. Do I tell his wife?’

Catching a spouse in an affair is like a grenade to the heart, and this man’s reaction—rage, eviction, divorce—reflects the raw wound of betrayal. His wife’s bipolar disorder complicates the narrative, but doesn’t erase accountability. Psychologist Dr. Shirley Glass notes, “Infidelity thrives in secrecy, and healing begins with transparency” (Psychology Today, 2003). The husband’s choice to tell the other wife, though painful, aligns with this, giving her agency to decide her future.

The wife’s history of messaging men during manic episodes suggests impulsivity, but using her diagnosis as an excuse dismisses the deeper issue: broken trust. A 2021 study in Bipolar Disorders found that while mania can increase risky behavior, it doesn’t inherently lead to infidelity (Bipolar Disorders, 2021). Her actions, especially with a close friend’s husband, show a pattern of disregard, not just a medical symptom.

The husband’s physical outburst, while understandable in the heat of shock, risks legal repercussions. Dr. Glass advises channeling anger into constructive steps, like therapy or legal counsel, which he’s pursuing. His decision to inform the friend was tough but ethical—studies show 85% of people want to know about a partner’s affair (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2018). It empowers her, even if it hurts.

Moving forward, individual therapy could help him process the trauma and intrusive images. Couples therapy is unlikely, given his resolve to divorce, but co-parenting strategies (if applicable) may need exploration. The friend’s parallel divorce mirrors his pain, creating a shared path to rebuild. This story underscores that truth, though brutal, is the first step toward reclaiming control.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s verdict is unanimous and fiery: the husband was right to tell the best friend, no question. Commenters slam the wife’s infidelity, dismissing her bipolar excuse as a weak cop-out, and urge full transparency to protect the friend from further deception. They empathize with his shock and rage, though some caution against physical reactions due to legal risks. The community’s all-in on exposing the affair to everyone, from friends to family, to ensure accountability.

This saga of infidelity and shattered friendships is a stark reminder that betrayal cuts deep, but truth can spark healing. The husband’s journey—from catching his wife’s affair to choosing honesty despite the pain—shows the messy strength it takes to face betrayal head-on. His story, raw with anger and resolve, invites reflection on trust and tough choices. Share your thoughts or experiences below—how do you navigate the fallout when love and loyalty collapse?