I (f24) feel catfished. Do I still go out tonight with my catfish? (m27)

Swiping through Hinge, she thought she’d struck gold—a charming 27-year-old with slick photos and a rooftop bar reservation. For weeks, their chats sparked excitement, his Instagram oozing style. But last night, a Snapchat snap stopped her cold: a disheveled guy, mid-ice cream bite, sporting wild hair and a scruffy beard—nothing like his profile’s polish. This 24-year-old now stares at her phone, heart sinking, wondering if she should bail on tonight’s date or give him a chance to clean up.

This Reddit tale isn’t just about a dating app fumble; it’s a cheeky dive into the wild world of online expectations versus reality. When a catfish’s true colors show, is it fair to ghost, or does he deserve a shot? Let’s unpack her dilemma and navigate the murky waters of digital romance.

‘I (f24) feel catfished. Do I still go out tonight with my catfish? (m27)’

We’ve been talking on hinge the dating app for weeks and I liked his pictures on there. I also followed him on Instagram. His photos are put together and look nice. He was super excited to take me on a date and made reservations for a rooftop bar for tonight. Last night I added him on Snapchat and he sent me a photo in real time and he looked AWFUL.

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I gasped. Looks much heavier, crazy unkept hair, huge unkept beard (clean shaven in his pics) and he was shirtless mid bite eating a tub of ice cream… I can’t believe he even had the audacity to send such a bad pic of himself. I’m sure he would look a little better on the date but I don’t know what to do I feel bad canceling but I was not attracted to his real time self.

Online dating thrives on first impressions, but this woman’s Hinge match fumbled hard with a jarring Snapchat reveal. His polished profile—clean-shaven, stylish—clashed with a real-time photo of unkempt hair, a scruffy beard, and a shirtless ice cream binge, leaving her unattracted and questioning their date. Her instinct to cancel reflects a natural response to feeling misled, but guilt over bailing shows her empathy. His choice to send such an unflattering snap, whether clueless or bold, raises questions about authenticity.

Deception in online dating is common. A 2023 Pew Research study found 54% of dating app users have encountered profiles with outdated or misleading photos (soucre). Dating coach Logan Ury advises, “Honesty in profiles builds trust. Misrepresentation, even unintentional, can derail attraction before a date begins” (soucre). His drastic appearance shift suggests either outdated photos or a lack of self-awareness, both red flags for a first date. Her reaction isn’t shallow—attraction matters, and trust is fragile when profiles don’t match reality.

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This ties to broader issues of digital authenticity. Young women, like her, often face pressure to be “nice” over asserting boundaries, yet prioritizing comfort is key. Reddit’s blunt call to cancel aligns with protecting her time. Your own experience valuing clear communication (April 24, 2025) mirrors her need for honesty, which this man sidestepped.

Advice: She should cancel politely, citing a scheduling conflict to avoid confrontation, and trust her gut if attraction is gone. If curious, she could message him to clarify the photo discrepancy, but she’s not obligated to meet. Exploring other matches on apps like Bumble or OkCupid can refocus her energy. A journal to process feelings might ease guilt, and friends could offer perspective.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users were merciless, one joking, “Mid-bite ice cream? Hard pass!” Here’s what they said:

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ArchitectNumber7 − Cancelling on a catfish should be normalized.

Meat_licker − I’m pretty blunt so I would’ve asked after the snap “wow, how old are your pics on your dating profile? You look nothing like them”

ZimaGotchi − lost me completely at 'mid bite eating a tub of ice cream' but I probably wasn't going to buy it anyway.

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CautiousHashtag − Call him out. “How come you look nothing like your pictures on Instagram?”

South-Ad-9635 − I hope this is a creative writing exercise...

changerofbits − Like, either this is perhaps his attempt at being funny and having a go with you, and he turns up at the date shaved and polished to the 9s. Or he’s a complete p**cho and he will haunt you for the rest of your life. Or something in between. 😂

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RandomReddit9791 − This is so bizarre. I want you to go on the date just to see how he shows up. 

skibunny1010 − Have gone on dates with catfishes probably 3 times. It never ends well and I just feel icked out for the entire duration of the date. It’s ok to lose interest when someone is deceitful about their looks

GoldenDragon001 − If this is his way of testing you whether you will continue in this pursuit with him, then he has failed. You can just walk away.

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cinnamondimples − Do not go on this date! Don’t waste your time on someone you’re not attracted to. So many other dating apps you can try.

These takes are savage, but do they miss the nuance of her guilt or his intent? Is canceling rude, or righteous?

This woman’s catfishing shock is a hilarious yet poignant reminder that online dating is a gamble of trust and truth. Her Hinge match’s sloppy snap doused her excitement, leaving her to choose between obligation and instinct. As she weighs tonight’s date, her story asks: when a first impression flops, do you roll the dice or walk away? What would you do if your date didn’t match the profile? Drop your thoughts below and keep the conversation sizzling.

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