I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having.

In a quiet morning glow, with coffee brewing and birds chirping outside, a 32-year-old man sips his routine calm, unaware that his world is about to tilt. An email from an unknown sender lands in his inbox, its words slicing through seven years of love like a paper cut—sharp, unexpected, and stinging. It claims his wife, his partner of laughter and late-night talks, is entangled in an affair. The sender? The wife of the other man, wielding texts and emails as proof. Shock paints his face as he stares at the screen, the warmth of his home suddenly feeling like a stage for betrayal.

This isn’t just a personal earthquake; it’s a story that hooks us all, tugging at questions of trust and loyalty. How does a seemingly perfect marriage hide such a secret? Readers lean in, hearts racing, wondering how they’d navigate this gut-punch. The man’s confusion mirrors our own—what happens when love’s foundation cracks without warning?

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‘I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having.’

Throwaway because duh. My wife and I have been together for 7 years, married for 2. Everything in our relationship is great. We rarely fight or have any arguments. This morning I checked my e-mail (as I do every morning) and saw an e-mail from someone I didn't know.

I open it up and the e-mail basically stated that my wife was having an affair. The woman went into pretty good detail, showing the texts and e-mails between her and the other man. I didn't believe it until I logged into my Facebook and saw the message from that same woman which said 'Hey. I'm sorry but I have some bad news for you. Please check your e-mail.'

As it turns out, this woman who e-mailed me was the wife of the guy my wife is cheating on me with. I can't believe this. This came out of left field. Our relationship was never in a rough spot, I have no clue what led to this. I'm really not sure what to do at this moment.. **tl;dr**: Got an e-mail from a woman which shows my wife is cheating on me.

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The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Discovering a partner’s infidelity can feel like stepping on a landmine in your own home. The husband’s story, drenched in shock, highlights a painful truth: affairs often lurk in the shadows of even the happiest relationships. The opposing perspectives are clear—his trust in a solid marriage versus the stranger’s damning evidence. While he grapples with disbelief, the other woman’s detailed proof suggests a calculated deception, possibly driven by his wife’s unmet needs or thrill-seeking.

This isn’t just one man’s crisis; infidelity is a societal pulse point. According to a 2018 study by the Institute for Family Studies, about 20% of men and 13% of women report having cheated on their spouse, often citing emotional or physical dissatisfaction. The anonymity of digital communication, like texts, makes secrecy easier, amplifying betrayal’s sting.

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Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned relationship therapist, notes in her book The State of Affairs, “Infidelity doesn’t always mean a relationship is doomed; it’s often a symptom of deeper disconnection.” Applying this to the husband’s plight, his wife’s actions might stem from unspoken gaps, not a lack of love. Yet, the breach of trust demands accountability.

Advice: He should gather evidence discreetly, as Reddit suggests, to confirm the claims before confronting his wife. A calm, question-driven conversation—“Is there something you need to share?”—could reveal her side. Couples therapy, if both are willing, might unpack the affair’s roots (estherperel.com ). An STD test is wise, given health risks.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, dishing out advice with a side of sass and empathy. Here’s a peek at the community’s hot takes—raw, candid, and occasionally spicy:

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kabfab − trust, but verify

Falxen − I didn't find the advice I was looking for in here so I'll add my own. You received some information. You need to cross check it now. Hopefully the record has date and time stamps. If they were text messages, check her phone. If it looks like messages were deleted, check the text records through the carrier to match up messages to that particular number.

Look for some evidence to back up the information you received. Do this *before* confronting her. You don't want to go to her with just a he said she said in your pocket. You also don't want to accuse her of this if it's just some k**k f**king with you. Put some effort in yourself here. With regard to the lawyer... in most states and unless you're particularly wealthy, it probably won't do a ton for you.

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Infidelity isn't generally a factor in most divorces. Google around to see whether it is or not for your state. Do get an STD test done though.. If you find corroborating evidence, when you approach her about it I'd recommend just asking questions. *'Hey, we need to talk. Is there anything important that you need to tell me? No? Is there some one else in your life right now?'*

Etc. Idealy she does most of the talking. Rather than telling her the extent of what you know, getting her to confess will tell you whether she's hiding some facts still and might net you more information than you currently have. Better information means better decisions with less regrets based on unknowns.. Good luck.

SirKnightOfNew − Confront the wife. Get the truth. Ask yourself if this is something you want to forgive and try to work through to save your marriage, or if you would prefer to get divorced. Many people will just say, 'lol, divorce the b**ch, delete facebook, lawyer up, hit the gym,' but only you can decide what's right for you.

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I know of at least 2 married couples in their 60's where one of them had an affair in their younger days, and they decided to work through it, going on to be happy and loving for decades.. You must decide what you want. From your side of the story, you didn't ask for this, you didn't mistreat her, and you don't deserve this. Sorry to hear it, but keep your chin up.

[Reddit User] − lawyer up and stay strong. good luck to you.

Mcsmack − The woman went into pretty good detail, showing the texts and e-mails between her and the other man. That's a pretty big smoking gun. You need to confront your wife about this, you should ask to see her phone, and if she refuses, then you'll have your answer. Caught my wife cheating too. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced.

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I know what you're going through. Ima give you some practical advice and some emotional advice.. Practical: * Immediately change all the passwords on all the accounts and move your money from a joint account to a personal one. Having some cash squirreled away is going to make things go a lot smoother.. * Get a lawyer. I ain't even playing.

Do it yesterday. * If you're sharing a lease you're going to have to get out of it - talk to your landlord and see what your options are. * Establish a support structure. Find out which friends you can lean on right now. Enlist their help. That's what friends are for - to help each other.. * Control your anger. Losing your temper will only hurt your case.

Stay f**king frosty.. Emotional advice: * I'm not going to sugarcoat it. You're going to be a f**king mess for a while. Just focus on what needs doing and try not to dwell on the pain. In the words of Freddie Mercury 'The show must go on.' * Stay off the booze. Booze makes you sloppy and likely to do something stupid that will give her an edge in the divorce.

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If you do get hammered do it with people who will keep you in line. * Hit the gym. Seriously. Your life is going to seem unanchored for a long damned time. Physical activity will wear your body out, help relieve stress, and keep your emotions from overwhelming you. * Keep the social media chatter to a minimum.

The more often you open your mouth, the more likely hurtful words will come out. Don't give her screenshots of you losing your s**t. * Communicate with her politely and professionally and only through a medium that's easy to record - aka text and email.

You avoid all that 'he said, she said' s**t.. * Give yourself plenty of time before getting into another relationship. * It's gonna take time to heal. You're going to be sad, lonely, angry, jittery, paranoid, restless, and about a thousand other emotions all at once.. * Finally, remember to take it one day at a time. Trust me, things will get better.

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oodlynoodles − Screenshot and save everything, make sure the things/accounts you care about are secured away, and lawyer up after talking to your wife. Prepare for the worst but understand that (as unlikely as it may be) without talking to her there may be an explanation you've missed.. Get as much information as you can. But it sounds like it should be over.

luigisravioli − People who are having affairs work hard at being good liars. You didn't necessarily need to suspect anything for it to be happening.

thosetwo − A lot of people in these situations tell you to lawyer up, but rarely do they give you the other piece of advice you need...get tested for STDs. Edit: Also...check your state laws, but in some states (that have at fault divorce) if you 'accept her back into the marriage bed' after being made aware of her a**ltery it can nullify her fault status...

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funfor6 − try to make sure it isn't someone trying to break up your marriage by making stuff up before you call your wife a cheatin ho.

n2tattoos_lol − hit the lawyer, delete the gym and Facebook up.

These Reddit gems range from practical to punchy, but do they nail the reality of navigating betrayal? Or are they just armchair quarterbacking?

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This husband’s story is a rollercoaster of trust shattered and tough choices looming. Whether he seeks truth, forgiveness, or a fresh start, his path forward is a maze of emotions we can all relate to. Infidelity stings, but it also sparks questions about love’s resilience. What would you do if an email flipped your world upside down? Could you rebuild trust, or would you walk away? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unpack this together!

For those who want to read the sequel: [UPDATE] I [32M] got an e-mail from some woman about an affair my wife [31F] is having.

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