I (31m) found my parent’s (68m&68f) will and I feel betrayed – How do I go about this?

In the quiet of his parents’ rural home, a 31-year-old man pops open their family safe to grab his hunting rifle, expecting nothing more than a routine check. Instead, he stumbles upon a bombshell: an envelope revealing his parents’ will, where he’s slated to inherit just 20% of their $2.1 million estate, while his siblings each get 40%. The discovery hits like a cold wind, stirring feelings of betrayal and confusion in a family that’s always seemed tight-knit.

Why the unequal split? Is it because he’s single and child-free, unlike his married siblings? The questions gnaw at him, threatening to unravel the harmony of holiday gatherings and open family chats. Readers are drawn into this emotional maze, wondering: how do you confront loved ones about a secret that stings so deeply? This tale of trust and fairness sets the stage for a heartfelt reckoning.

‘I (31m) found my parent’s (68m&68f) will and I feel betrayed – How do I go about this?’

This past weekend I was house sitting for my parents(68m & 68f). I keep my hunting rifle in their safe since I live in the city. I haven't used it in a while, so I decided to zero it. While getting it out, I did some treasure hunting in the safe. At the time I really didn't think I was snooping. The whole family has the combination to it, I just never looked before.

It was mostly boring stuff like passports and jewelry, but there was an envelope with the logo of a law firm and in it, their will. As you might have guessed, I was to receive less than my siblings. I have an older sister (38) and an older brother (36). They were getting 40% each, while I got 20%. I read through the whole thing, thinking I was to get some other asset or something, but no, it was after everything was liquidated.

I don't know why they would do this. The only thing I can think of is that my siblings are both married with children and I'm single and child free. But that just feels so stupid. They don't know that I'm child free by choice, and what if I had kids after they died? I doubt my siblings would give me that money retroactively.

It makes even less sense since my brother has 3 kids and my sister only one, yet they get the same amount? It's not like it's going to a trust for the grandkids either, it goes directly to us as lump sums. We have talked openly about inheritance before, like in family meetings. But no one ever said that some would get more or less.

Just things like if someone was interested in the house/farm or if they should sell it etc. They have also been open with how much they have. They are both retired now, but have worked fulltime jobs + been running a farm their entire lives. It's been a few years since I saw the numbers myself, but last time they told us it was 2,1 million USD (don't live in the states, just seemed easiest to convert to).

I'm well aware that 20% of that is a life changing amount, so a small part of me feels greedy, but the rest of me just feel sad and angry. I haven't been able to get it out of my head. We never fight, we all meet on holidays etc etc. I just can't think of anything. And no, I'm not an affair child. My mom's hobby is genology and we all have profiles on Ancestry + I look just like my paternal grandfather.

None of us siblings are rich. If I had to guess, my sister and her husband are probably in the best state financially, having good jobs and only 1 child. I'm probably the worst off right now, since I just bought a house on a single income. Do I tell them what I saw?

Do I just forget it and secretly hope that they change it before they die? My head is like a brick right now. I hate this, it's like I will lose whatever I do. What would you do? Any parents with adult kids out there that can see their side and justify it?.

Edit: thanks all. I have a lot to think about, but at the end of the day I just have to talk to them. No getting around this I guess. Someone pointed out that there is no such thing as one will for two people. This is not their individual wills. I don't think they have those.

They will inherit each other when the other die (as per default as a married couple). This is more of what will happen to their resources once they both are gone. I'm sorry I don't know how to describe it. We have a word for it and google wanted to translate it to 'will'.

Update: I called them yesterday and explained everything I saw. Some of you guessed it. It was the adults they had based it upon, not the kids. My sibling's spouses are great people and my parents love them as their own, so sure I can buy that. The kids was also a factor. I told them I found it a weird way to split it and asked what would happen if I got married.

They told me that they will rewrite the will.. What if I marry a person they don't like as much? No answer.. What if I marry or have kids after they die? No answer. I asked if they had considered that my siblings' spouses would presumably inherit their own parents one day. No answer Probably the most awkward conversation I've ever had with them.

They asked me if I wanted them to rewrite the will to do a 33% split instead. This question actually put me off. So in line what many here told me, I said no and that they are free to do whatever they wanted with their money. But I also said I feel disappointed and what I really want is for them to want to change it. They texted today with an apology and that they will go over their options. I haven't had the energy to reply yet.

Unearthing a parent’s will can feel like peeking behind the curtain of family secrets—especially when the numbers don’t add up. The man’s shock at receiving half the inheritance of his siblings reveals a clash of expectations and unspoken assumptions about fairness.

Dr. Pauline Boss, a family therapist and author, explains, “Ambiguous loss, like discovering unequal treatment in a will, can fracture family trust if not addressed openly” (Psychology Today, 2020). His parents’ logic—treating each adult, including siblings’ spouses, equally—overlooks his perspective as a single son, fueling feelings of rejection. Yet, their silence during past family talks about inheritance set a shaky foundation for trust.

This taps into a broader issue: inheritance disputes often tear families apart. A 2018 survey by Ameriprise Financial found 35% of families face conflicts over estate plans, often due to lack of communication. The man’s awkward confrontation shows how hard it is to bridge that gap.

For solutions, experts urge candid talks. He could propose a family meeting with a neutral mediator to air concerns calmly. Dr. Boss suggests framing questions curiously, like, “Can you help me understand your thinking?” to avoid defensiveness.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out advice with a side of sass. Here’s a taste of their spicy takes:

carolanngollott − Here’s another possibility…. If the parents truly feel that their children’s spouses are like their own children, each adult would equally receive 20%.

NonSpecificRedit − You make an assumption throughout your post that the decision to not split the estate evenly was based on children. If that makes you feel better then fine. Maybe it's true but why just assume that? It's their money and they can set it on fire if they want to. What I'd want to know is why you're being treated differently.

If I were you here's what I'd do. Tell them you snooped and you saw the will. Tell them you're more than grateful as that's a life-changing amount of money for you. I don't want you to change anything because I accept that is what you want in terms of distribution. What I do want is an explanation as to why two siblings are being treated one way and I'm being treated differently?

You see if you both passed and I found out at the reading of the will I would never know why? Did I do something to which you're both still holding a grudge? Is there some problem that we can resolve before you pass? Keep the will the way it is I'm not asking for more but I'd like to know why and if there is a problem I'd like a chance to resolve it. Or at the very least not to wonder what I did.

[Reddit User] − So, on the one hand, the comments you're getting about not being entitled to anything are 100% true. Inheritance isn't a right automatically bestowed. But on the other hand, I think it's s**tty for parents to do this to their kids (give unequally between them) without sitting everyone down and telling them about it long before anyone has passed away.

Stuff like this has a way of breeding real resentment among the siblings and there's no way to reconcile it since of course, the people who caused it are now dead. As for what to do here? I'd talk to your parents privately. Just explain to them how you came across the will and that you understand you're not entitled to an equal share (or anything at all),

but it did take you by surprise to see the difference between what you're getting versus your siblings - and see what they say. Do be prepared to be hurt by their answer, though. There's no real non-hurtful explanation for singling out one child to get so much less than the other two.

MontEcola − My grand parents and millions. My grand father passed away, and Grandmother re-wrote the will. There was my mom, and her sister. The sister, my uncle and cousins got about 80% of the money and things. The other 10% went to other people. Leaving my family of 5 with 10%. My one cousin got $80,000 each.

I got $2,000.. WTF? I was the youngest. What grudge did she have against me? I wish I had the chance to ask her why I was such a disappointment to her. I never knew such a thing until she was gone. It is not the money. It is the not knowing. I do know that my grandfather told us that each grand child would get the same amount when I was around 14.

He promised that. So what changed? And that is why I would ask them directly, with just you and them in the room. I would start with, 'Have I done something to p**s you guys off? I have information that you are not happy with me. I want to know what I did? I wish I could have that conversation with my grandmother.

CuriousTiktaalik − It's their money, and they can do what they want with it. So no one is owed anything, not even fairness. But if you don't ask now, you'll never know. Maybe they have some reasoning that you could understand. Maybe they just like you less than your siblings. If, at the end of the day, it matters to you to know, you could ask them from a place of curiosity.

Fubbalicious − Did your parents provide more financial assistance to you versus your siblings (eg. Gave down payment for a house, paid for your school but not for your siblings)?. In my family, I’m getting a larger share because I paid off my parents debt.

MissMurderpants − Op, I’m the youngest and childfree.. I’m also the responsible sibling. My parents will they have their assets split evenly. They know if my niblings need help I will help *THEM* and not my siblings and that if I pass I plan on distributing my funds to the niblings.. Personally, I’d bring that up to your folks.

memedreams5089 − This is how money ruins families, it sounds like you’re already growing resentful. I also have an older brother and sister who have kids. I on the other hand, got recently engaged but my fiance does not want any kids. But before this I already spoke to my parents and knew they were getting more money when my parents die since my nieces and nephews came into the picture.

I’m happy that my nieces and nephews will be provided for and won’t have to worry about paying for college or future expenses. I trust my brother and sister will do the right thing because the money is also not going into a trust for my nieces and nephews. I’ve learned to just be grateful. Grateful that my nieces and nephews will be taken care of.

Grateful that I will get some money that I don’t direly need which sounds like your situation since you’ve bought a house on a single income, congrats btw. I wouldn’t let this get in the relationship between you, your siblings and your parents. My parents aren’t doing too hot right now too, so I’m just cherishing every last interactions with them. Hope this helps even if just a little.

BriefHorror − I'd bring it up to your parents in private.

ismellboogers − Each adult gets 20%. The other two are married so each of them and partners get 20%. You don’t have a partner so yours is the single 20%.

From urging him to demand answers to preaching gratitude, these opinions are a mixed bag. But do they hit the heart of the matter, or just stir the pot?

This man’s discovery peels back the layers of family bonds, revealing how secrets—even well-intentioned ones—can wound. His parents’ uneven will isn’t just about money; it’s about feeling valued equally. As they mull rewriting it, the real work lies in rebuilding trust through honest talks. Have you ever faced a family secret that shook you? What would you do in his shoes? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this together!

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