I (29F) broke it off with my boyfriend (31M)?

The glow of a family celebration turned dim as a 29-year-old woman stood on the sidelines, watching her boyfriend’s brother slip a ring onto his girlfriend’s finger. For seven years, she had waited for her own moment, clinging to her boyfriend’s promises of a proposal that never came. The stark contrast of another couple’s joy against her own stagnation broke something inside her, prompting a gut-wrenching decision to walk away. Instead of the empowerment she craved, she was left with a heavy heart, questioning if she’d ever find her happy ending.

This poignant story captures the ache of unfulfilled dreams and the courage to choose oneself, even when it hurts. Caught between societal pressures and personal desires, her choice resonates with anyone who’s lingered too long in hope. It’s a raw glimpse into the emotional toll of waiting and the strength it takes to let go.

‘I (29F) broke it off with my boyfriend (31M)?’

After reading all of your comments I feel I should say that YES it was communicated that I wanted to get married. Do you guys really think after being together for more than half a decade it wouldn’t be a discussion?! Worst part is, he was saying he’s going to propose and that was TWO years ago.

How much longer does a girl have to wait? How many times do I have to be a bridesmaid and sit on the sidelines? I was in a relationship for seven years and never got the ring. My boyfriends brother proposed to his girlfriend of two years this weekend and I was broken. I ended my relationship right then.

I thought I would feel empowered but instead I feel devastated and defeated. I couldn’t see myself being around the family and knowing that I still didn’t get my own happy ending after SEVEN YEARS. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you get through it? Does my decision make sense to anyone else?

The woman’s decision to end her seven-year relationship reflects a painful but empowering choice to prioritize her needs. Her boyfriend’s repeated delays, despite knowing her desire for marriage, signal a misalignment in commitment, leaving her feeling undervalued. The brother’s proposal acted as a catalyst, highlighting the gap between her expectations and reality. Her devastation post-breakup is natural, as seven years of emotional investment can’t be erased overnight, yet her courage to act speaks to her self-worth.

This scenario touches on a broader issue: the societal pressure on women to wait for commitment. A 2023 study by the Institute for Family Studies found that 40% of women in long-term relationships feel anxious about delayed proposals, often tied to cultural expectations of marriage as a milestone (https://ifstudies.org). Waiting can erode self-esteem, especially when promises go unfulfilled.

Psychologist Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert, notes, “Commitment is about aligning actions with words over time” (https://www.drterriorbuch.com). The boyfriend’s inaction, despite verbal assurances, suggests a reluctance to fully commit, which the woman rightly recognized. Her grief now is part of healing, not a sign of failure.

To move forward, she might focus on self-care, as Reddit users suggested, like refreshing her space or pursuing personal goals. Therapy or journaling can help process the loss, while reconnecting with friends can rebuild her support network. Embracing this transition as a chance to rediscover herself will pave the way for healthier relationships aligned with her values.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users rallied around the woman, sharing empathy and personal stories of similar heartbreaks. Many praised her for leaving, seeing her boyfriend’s delays as a refusal to commit, and shared their own journeys of ending long-term relationships to find better matches.

Others acknowledged the pain of starting over, urging her to grieve fully but stay open to new possibilities. Some offered practical tips, like redecorating her space or planning a trip, to mark this new chapter with intention. These Reddit perspectives blend compassion with tough love, reflecting a community that cheers for her resilience while validating her emotional struggle.

kgcatlin − I ended an 8 year relationship when my best friend told me she was pregnant and it finally clicked that he was never going to truly commit to me the way I wanted and needed him to. I was very sad for a long time before I started feeling better about the decision.

In rhetorical time we were together, I saw friends meet, start dating, get engaged, get married, and have kids. All the while I was still just a girlfriend. The breakup sucked, but things did get better and I have an amazing husband and kids now.

DachshundMama2 − Happened to me! I was in a seven year relationship and we broke up in 2020. We had a house, dogs and what I thought was a nice life together. Covid really did us in and we broke up. He told me that he never wanted to get married or have kids. He told me that he thought engagement rings were a waste of money.

Flash forward- 8 months after we broke up, he was engaged to his new much younger girlfriend. They got married a year later. She got a huge rock on her finger to. Thinking back, I’m grateful that we never got married. I think our personalities really didn’t click long term. I wish them well, but I was devastated. I still haven’t recovered almost 4 years later.

worriedlady23 − I ended a relationship at 28 after 4 years because I was almost certain I’d be waiting till at least 33 if not longer…and it doesn’t feel good when someone says they love you and keeps you around, but won’t put the words into any action. So no, you did the right thing. He was taking you for granted.

shelizabeth93 − I knew a woman who was engaged for 23 years, he passed suddenly and everything went to his now adult child that she had raised as her own since 3. Her 'son' had her evicted and left her with nothing at 45. I knew another who was with a guy for 9. He refuses to get married, she thought she could change him.

She also had to totally start over at 40. Everything was in his name, she secretly started house hunting, bought a new car in her name, packed her things and left while he was at work.. Get it over with now, good job, good luck. I hope you meet a prince.

fatfemmelez − I think you’re smart for doing it. This is assuming you’ve had a conversation with him that marriage is important to you. If he knew that and still made you wait 7 years, I say good for you! It’ll suck being alone at first, but this is a great chance for you to get to know yourself!

mooseintheleaves − Your decision makes perfect sense to me. I think you did the right thing for you. Live your life. Also just know you are an inspiration of confidence and guts to do what is right for you. I am 37 and considering the same thing (4 years) and frankly terrified.

ruffonferals − Now you are free to live your best life.. All the Best.

Ruthless_Bunny − I will say, take the time to truly heal. Don’t jump into dating right away until you are done grieving this relationship. You have to have NO unfinished business. So feel the hurt, disappointment, the loss. It’s okay to not be okay for awhile.. Call your friends and have them take care of you.

Whatever that looks like.. Be kind to yourself.. At some point you’ll need to get up and get out. What does that look like? 1. Deep clean your place. Re-do your bedroom in YOUR taste. Squishmallows, chintz, minimalism, whatever it is. You need new sheets and a duvet at the VERY least.

2. Refresh your wardrobe. Spring is coming. D**p all the s**t you’ve accumulated over the course of your relationship. Think about who you are NOW! Buy a few new pieces that fit the new you! Rethink your makeup. A mini makeover. Don’t be a cliche and cut your hair. There are limits

3. If you have fitness goals, now would be the time to hit the gym. Don’t pay a fortune. Use the place in your complex or do a $10 per month place. This is what you’re doing either before or after work. Enjoy building yourself up! 4. Plan some travel. Nothing like a trip to look forward to.

Something good. A road trip with friends, a visit to another continent. No spiring break, drunken shenanigans, but places where you meet cool people and see cool stuff. Stay busy. You’ll look back on this time and you won’t remember how you felt, you’ll remember what you did.. Take good care of yourself. You did the right thing

FlyingMamMothMan − I'm literally in the same situation right now! Engaged brother and all!!! Yeah, it's been a mess. I keep telling myself it's his avoident attachment disorder and not me.

but yikes, it is HARD to see happy couples in general right now. I can't even pretend to be happy for my newly engaged/pregnant friends some days. I just have to RSVP 'no' to certain events. I hope it gets easier. 

Imnotfullyawake − I was with someone for 7 years also - he never could pull the trigger with me. It ended up taking him another 9 years before he got married to his next gf.. Some people just really don't want to make a decision and that in itself is an answer.. ​. I got a proposal with my current partner in under 3 years.. I promise you, you will learn and grow from this!

This story of a woman walking away from a seven-year wait for a ring is both heartbreaking and inspiring. It underscores the courage required to choose self-respect over comfort, even when the aftermath feels like defeat.

Her journey reminds us that endings, however painful, can open doors to new beginnings. Share your experiences—how have you navigated unfulfilled expectations in relationships, and what helped you rebuild after letting go?

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