I (27F) proposed to my girlfriend (27F) but she said she didn’t like It. What can I do to fix this?

On a cloudy rooftop, a 27-year-old woman knelt with a sparkling ring, her heart racing as she proposed to her girlfriend of three years, envisioning a lifetime together. The scene was set with a photographer, a musical to follow, and a cozy dinner, but the girlfriend’s frown the next day shattered the magic—she wanted a grander, celebrity-style spectacle. The sting of rejection hung heavy, as love clashed with lofty expectations.

This Reddit tale unfolds like a rom-com with a twist, capturing the raw tension between heartfelt effort and idealized dreams. The proposer, caught off guard by her girlfriend’s disappointment, grapples with hurt and confusion, while readers wonder if love can bridge the gap between a sincere gesture and a craving for Instagram-worthy flair. It’s a story that tugs at the heart, asking what truly matters in a commitment.

‘I (27F) proposed to my girlfriend (27F) but she said she didn’t like It. What can I do to fix this?’

So long story short my girlfriend of 3 years wanted to get married for a lil bit now. She even would send me different proposals of celebrities or other people on the internet. I did the proposal in a different way and I thought she would love It but she didn’t. I didn’t make It as extravagant as the different posts she sent me but I had a photographer, we saw a musical afterwards and then we went out to eat.

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Just a day later she told me she didn’t like It. I’m upset and I’m not sure what to do in this situation because I felt I did the best I could with what I had and I thought the most important thing was us spending our lives together. I couldn’t afford a grand thing and I know I wanted to do It before the end of. the year. She loves the ring though, probably her most favorite thing.. We got into an argument and I want to fix this but Idk how.

A proposal gone awry reveals the delicate dance of expectations in relationships, especially when social media sets an unrealistic bar. The proposer’s effort—complete with a ring, speech, and musical—clashed with her girlfriend’s vision of a viral-worthy moment, exposing a rift in priorities that’s all too common in modern love.

Dr. Esther Perel, a renowned psychotherapist, observes, “Expectations are the silent killers of intimacy, often shaped by cultural scripts we don’t question” (Esther Perel). Here, the girlfriend’s fixation on celebrity proposals reflects a broader trend: social media amplifies pressure for performative romance, sidelining authentic connection.

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This story mirrors a societal shift where curated moments often overshadow genuine bonds. The proposer’s hurt stems from her girlfriend valuing spectacle over substance, a tension many couples face. Empathy and communication are key to aligning visions.

For this couple, an open conversation about values—without judgment—could heal the rift. Acknowledge the girlfriend’s dreams, but clarify budget and intent.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out spicy takes with a side of skepticism about this girlfriend’s priorities! From red flags to witty jabs, the community’s reactions blend humor with hard truths.

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wwcat89 − She wants a wedding not a marriage. Do not walk down that aisle.

DrCraniac2023 − Um… I’m not sure I’d even want to marry someone who could be so ungrateful. Why do you want to fix it exactly?

k12pcb − She’s not in it for you, you deserve better

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gschultz8 − I’m sure she does love the ring, it’s a symbol of what she cares the most about in your relationship which is the shiny package she can post on insta or show people instead of the relationship itself. The wedding will only get worse more than likely, just drawing from cases I’ve seen that are similar. I dunno man.

I’m not saying bounce, let the dust settle and see if she comes to her senses and apologizes but I would definitely feel a type of way about this and have a bit of a guard up until then. The fact that she studied celebrity proposals and had that expectation of you is arguably the most damning. That’s not a flash in the pan response like she gave you post engagement, that’s obsessive and weird.

bee102019 − Yikes. Red flag. She’s not the one. Her priorities are whackadoodle. She cares less about sharing your lives together and more about showing off for others. The proposal is only the beginning. This drama will only continue.

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TheDissolutionist − You fix it by dodging this bullet, my friend. This is the massive, Chinese communist military parade over-sized red flag you will hate yourself for not paying attention to.. Dude, don't marry this woman. Don't keep seeing someone who turns your earnest gesture into a negative.. Gather up your self-respect, and move the f**k on.. Don't say you weren't warned.

DplusLplusKplusM − Marriage is about forging a bond to defend each other against the cold, cruel world. It involves sacrifice, delayed gratification and putting your own desires behind someone else's needs. It isn't easy, it isn't always fun, there'll be many times when you don't get your own way and if you have kids you'll have to be prepared to forsake the right to just leave if you're not happy.

It mean tolerating things you don't like for the other person. It sometimes means putting your own feelings aside for the greater good of the union. It's hard but rewarding work and sometimes it just sucks but you have to keep going because your commitment is more important than your wishes of the moment.

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So the short answer is: Your girlfriend isn't mature enough to be married anyway so maybe tell her you were just joking when you proposed. Any time a photo op is more important than someone you love offering to give you the rest of their life you're just not ready for the big, grownup prospect of marriage.

betty_crocker_ − I suggest proposing to someone else.

Sea_Network7982 − I would like to add that she did say sorry after the argument and then said she loved the proposal but she wanted to know why I chose to do It the way I did It. I gave her a speech and everything at the proposal.

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She always said she wanted a musical aspect to the engagement too. I feel like It was a lot of pressure when she was sending me all the things to do for the proposal. I got the rooftop but It was cloudy so you couldn’t see the sunset. And I couldn’t reschedule my photographer. It was just a lot

markoyolo − I'm gay and confused by this. If she wanted a specific proposal why didn't she propose to YOU?! You're both women! The whole point is to not have gender roles! . She seems immature. Good luck I guess. 

These hot opinions sizzle, but do they fully grasp the nuances of this proposal pickle?

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This rooftop romance reminds us that love’s sweetest moments can stumble under the weight of unspoken expectations. The proposer’s heartfelt gesture, met with critique, sparks a question: is it the ring or the spotlight that seals a bond? How would you handle a partner’s disappointment in your big moment? Dive into the comments and share your stories—let’s unpack the messy, beautiful reality of love!

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