I (25F) just found out my BF (28M) bet for 5k that he can get me in bed. What should I do?

In a lively bar three years ago, a 25-year-old woman’s college graduation bash sparked a romance that felt like a fairy tale. Her charming 28-year-old boyfriend swept her off her feet with a drink and a smile, leading to a shared home and dreams of forever. But a coworker’s lunchroom confession shattered the magic: he’d won a $5,000 bet to get her into bed, a secret kept even as he plans a grand anniversary surprise, possibly a proposal.

Now, as he’s away on a work trip, she’s left wrestling with betrayal, her heart torn between love and the sting of being a prize. This isn’t just about a crass bet; it’s a vivid tale of trust dangling by a thread, with an anniversary looming. Can she confront the truth without losing herself, or is this the end of their story? It’s a gut-punch of a dilemma.

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‘I (25F) just found out my BF (28M) bet for 5k that he can get me in bed. What should I do?’

Her shock and heartache pour out in a raw Reddit post, capturing the moment her world flipped upside down. Here’s her story, straight from the heart:

I(25f) met my boyfriend(28m) of 3 years in bar. It was literally the best night for me. I was celebrating with friends that I graduated from college. He bought me a drink and then the rest is history. We moved in together 2 years ago. While moving one of his friends made a comment “oh who would’ve thought this will happen after our convo”. I ignored it and just moved on.

Two days ago i was at work and one of his friends works with me. It was weird at first because we never eat together but this day he did come to eat lunch with me. He started saying how gentle I look, how I was the purest person he has ever met. To be honest I was confused. He then said he had to tell me something. He told me my bf is planning on purposing, but he can’t let him do that.

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He said that “when we saw you, you looked innocent enough so we bet who of us will get you in bed first”. The bet was for $5k. Well a one month after we started dating he did get me in bed. And apparently he told them and he got his 5k. Well I feel betrayed and confused. I haven’t told my bf about this conversation. He is on a work trip and coming back tomorrow.

Apparently he has planned something very special for tomorrow night since is our anniversary. I feel used. Does he really love me? If it was just a stupid bet between friends why not tell me after so long?!!! Should I tell him on ft tonight..

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

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This woman’s discovery of her boyfriend’s $5,000 bet to sleep with her is a brutal blow to a three-year romance. The friend’s revelation, framed as protecting her from a potential proposal, unveils a callous start to their love story, making her question if his feelings are genuine. His silence about the bet, even after years, and cryptic friend comments like “who would’ve thought,” amplify her sense of being used.

Betrayals rooted in objectification sting deeply. A 2022 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 50% of relationships involving early deception struggle with long-term trust, often due to withheld truths (source: Journal of Social and Personal Relationships). Her confusion is valid—love can grow from shaky starts, but secrecy breeds doubt.

Dr. Esther Perel, a relationship expert, notes, “Trust hinges on transparency; hiding a betrayal, even an old one, keeps the wound fresh” (source: The State of Affairs). Perel’s insight suggests his omission is as damaging as the bet, blocking true intimacy. A face-to-face talk when he returns, not over FaceTime, could reveal his intent—genuine remorse or deflection.

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She should prepare questions like, “Why didn’t you tell me about the bet?” and gauge his honesty. Individual therapy, via BetterHelp (source: BetterHelp), can help her process betrayal. Couples counseling, through the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (source: AAMFT), might clarify if love outweighs deceit. Waiting until he’s back ensures a clearer read on his sincerity.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s buzzing with fiery takes on this woman’s heart-wrenching discovery—brace for some sassy, straight-talking wisdom!

MediocreFrosting77 − Am I the only one getting sketched out by the friend? Why would he tell her that her bf is planning to propose? Why start the convo telling her how gentle and pure she looks? I feel like this dude has ulterior motives…

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TechnoTofu − This is absolutely absurd lol who’s just giving their friend especially college aged $5,000 for something this dumb.

Wonderful_Rooster865 − Tbh sounds like the friend is jealous and is trying to cause friction.

AttimusMorlandre − Honestly you’re missing the bigger picture here. This “friend“ of his looks like he’s trying to sabotage your relationship. What he did was really smarmy, especially the way he lead into it with “you look so pure” and all of that. What a sleaze. Your boyfriend wanted to surprise you with a marriage proposal, and the friend let the cat out of the bag.

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This guy is big trouble and you should cut ties. Your boyfriend loves you and has been with you for three years. If this were all about a stupid bet, it would be over already. He loves you. He’s apparently going to propose. Focus on that.

alchemyandArsenic − Wow it's totally not like any of the early 2000 rom-com movies we all grew up on from this totally not scripted fake relationship advice.

Future-Abalone − This friend seems like a snake to me… he seems pretty jealous. Regarding your boyfriend…he should have told you this upfront, 100%, when you two were getting serious. I would feel betrayed as well.

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However…. The bet wasn’t “bet you $5k you can sleep with this girl, then move in with her, then propose to her…”. I don’t think there is any reason to question whether he loves you. Obviosuly he does. I don’t know that I would break up over this. You guys love eachother and are happy together otherwise. Talk to him about it and see if you both can put this in the past. Also he definitely owes you $5k.

HauntingReaction6124 − his friend is beyond shady. Why wait all these years to drop this bomb. Especially with her boyfriend being out of town. He sounds so creepy with his comments of how gentle you look and how you were the purest person he ever met. ick. There are two things that come to mind.

A. He wants to sleep with you and that wont happen until he sabotages your relationship. B. Another bet was made. Possibly something to do with his proposal. He and his circle of friends are beyond toxic....they truly have no moral compass when it comes to other people feelings and lives.

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blem4real_ − Seems like he owes you 5k to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

FirmPsychology2243 − Don’t buy into this. Honestly was it immature, yes. Would I make a joke with my bf that the ring better cost $5k, yes. Would I worry about this over 2 years into a loving relationship, no.

flyerjon53 − This the plot of a Christmas movie.

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These Redditors are dishing out bold advice, but are they on point, or just fanning the flames?

This woman’s tale is a rollercoaster of love and betrayal, with a $5,000 bet casting a dark shadow over her three-year romance. From a bar’s magic to a coworker’s bombshell, she’s left questioning her boyfriend’s heart as their anniversary looms. Can a candid confrontation salvage their love, or is this secret the final straw? What would you do when a partner’s past gamble taints your trust? Toss your advice, stories, or reactions in the comments—let’s unpack this!

The author has updated the article below:

UPDATE: Thanks for all the advices. I couldn’t wait anymore so I did call my bf and told him I know about the bet. Well he said there’s much more to it. They did bet for the money but he never took it apparently. I told him that rn I need space and I can’t talk about this over the phone. He said he’ll explain everything and to not fully trust his friend.

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He then texted me that he loves me and to have faith in our relationship. Also I was never friends with “his friend”. He just recently started working in the same hospital I work in. I did throw up after my conversation with him. I’m still disgusted. And I know I’m worried because of his comments that there’s much more I need to know. I’ll try to update after I talk with him.

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