I [23m] unknowingly outbid my GF [26] on eBay on a present for her. Should I tell her I was the other bidder or keep hush?

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Imagine a cozy night where two music buffs, lost in their love for a favorite band, hunt for rare vinyls online. For a 23-year-old guy, snagging a steal on eBay for his girlfriend’s birthday felt like a win—until he realized he outbid her in a secret showdown!

Now, he’s torn: tell her he’s the mystery bidder and soothe her disappointment or wait for a birthday surprise that’ll spark laughter and love? This adorable tale of accidental rivalry and sweet intentions is a heartwarming glimpse into a couple’s quirky bond, making you root for their next chapter.

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‘I [23m] unknowingly outbid my GF [26] on eBay on a present for her. Should I tell her I was the other bidder or keep hush?’

Hi Reddit,. Glad to be posting something that isn't cheating or something fucked up. My GF and I really love this particular band, I always keep an eye out for cool/rare merch to get a little 'anytime' gift for each-other. Cue last week. Her birthday is coming up and I found a rare version of a Vinyl on eBay for waaaay under market price.

I instantly bid on it and day later someone bids back, I end up in a little bidding war with this randomer and eventually win. The next day my GF and I are chatting and she begins to tell me that she had found this really cool rare bit of merch but got out bid and she really wanted it for our collection. That's when it hits me, I was bidding against her.

Now, normally I would've just told her it was me and we would've got a good giggle out of it, but considering I was buying it as a surprise (birthday) I kept quiet. However now I'm starting to think I should just tell her as she's pretty bummed out about it (May seem silly to some but its a really important thing to us). Reddit, should I just own up and tell her or wait a week and a half for the big reveal then?. Thanks!

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This eBay bidding blunder is a charming snapshot of a couple’s shared passion, turning a simple gift into a rom-com-worthy moment. The boyfriend’s accidental win over his girlfriend highlights their playful connection, but it also sparks a question about the role of surprises in relationships.

From the girlfriend’s view, losing the vinyl stings, especially since it was for their joint collection. The boyfriend, meanwhile, weighs her temporary sadness against the joy of a surprise reveal. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, emphasizes, “Small, thoughtful gestures that show you understand your partner’s passions build trust and intimacy” (The Gottman Institute). This vinyl isn’t just a gift—it’s proof of how deeply he gets her.

Looking broader, surprises can strengthen relationships when timed well. A 2021 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that thoughtful surprises boost partner satisfaction (JSPR). Here, the boyfriend’s secrecy carries low risk since the reveal is just a week away, and their dynamic suggests she’ll love the surprise. The lighthearted nature of their rivalry keeps the stakes low but the payoff high.

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For advice, stick with the surprise but ease her disappointment subtly—perhaps drop a hint about something special coming. Post-reveal, share a laugh about the bidding war and consider adding a small gift for their shared collection to amplify the joy. This approach honors their bond while keeping the moment memorable.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s hot takes on this eBay escapade are as wholesome as the story itself—full of cheer and a dash of mischief. Here’s what the community had to say, served with a side of humor:

[Reddit User] − Tell her on her birthday

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JemimahWaffles − WAIT FOR THE REVEAL.. YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS ANY MORE PERFECT IF YOU TRIED. She's so let down that she didn't get it, and you're gonna surprise her not only with the exact thing she wanted but a crazy story to go with it. Plus you show how much you really know her.. Well played my friend.

Gumgums66 − Wait till her birthday and then she’ll be super happy! :) You can still have a good giggle about it anyway because you can tell her that you weren’t even aware it was her you were bidding against until after you won.

ItsAlkron − Make it a surprise! My fiancée did basically the same thing but she knew she was stealing it out from under me intentionally to surprise me. Ended up getting my item nice and framed and it's the best gift I've ever recieved. Edit: Wow, unexpected upvotes. To give more details, I love maps and love Disney World. I found a Disney World map from the year I was born and was bidding on it.

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I must have told her about it because I fell asleep that night figuring it was a safe win (no other bids) and she swiped it from me. Got it high quality framed and everything. Surprised me ENTIRELY. I had continued looking for that map and never found another listed of that nice quality! We now have it hanging in a guest room of our first home in a Disney themed room. Thankfully, we both love Disney.

rdizz33 − Wait for her birthday! That’s so cute!

everyting_is_taken − A week and a half isn't that long. You should wait. You can still giggle about it then. It's not like you're hiding something from her, birthday gifts are supposed to be a surprise.. Good job on the find, by the way. You know she's gonna love it!

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ThePracticalDad − Tell her when you present the present. This happened to me years ago where I found a rare set of wheels i wanted for my car. Called the guy a few hours later and he told me they had already sold. Sooooo bummed as I knew it would be years before I found them again.. My wife bought them for me. :D

JudgementOfSibyl − should I just own up and tell her or wait a week and a half for the big reveal then? Depends. Does she enjoy a good surprise? If she loves surprises, keep it for a big reveal. If she doesn't care that much about surprise gifts, let her know now..

Either way, you are good I think.. Side note,. she really wanted it for our collection. I think it's really sweet she was bidding for both of you. Have you considered adding that present to your shared collection and getting her another wee gift? Just a thought.

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[Reddit User] − Don’t tell her until you give it to her and then put her reaction on r/wholesome !

YaYeeeeeeeeeet − Be sure to update us

These Redditors are all in for the big reveal, but do their cheers for surprise hold up in every relationship, or is this couple just uniquely adorable?

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This eBay love story is a reminder that sometimes, the best gifts come with a side of serendipity and a good laugh. Whether you’re Team Tell-Her-Now or Team Big-Reveal, this couple’s shared passion and playful rivalry are downright heartwarming. What would you do if you accidentally outbid your partner for a surprise gift? Share your thoughts, stories, or epic gift-giving wins below—let’s keep the wholesome vibes going!

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