I (19F) have a date (19F) tonight. She’s differently abled. How can I make the date go well?

In a bustling coffee shop, a 19-year-old woman’s heart skips as she chats with a charming girl who’s way out of her league. Their instant connection, sparked by shared laughter, leads to a bold move: asking her out for frozen yogurt. Both exploring their first date with another woman, the excitement is electric. But her date’s visual impairment—she’s blind in one eye, with low vision in the other—adds a layer of care to her planning.

This isn’t just about butterflies; it’s about making her date feel at ease without tripping over words or assumptions. Armed with enthusiasm and a touch of nerves, she’s determined to make the evening perfect. This story pulls us into her whirlwind of anticipation, where young love meets the challenge of thoughtful inclusivity in a sweet, frozen-yogurt-fueled adventure.

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‘I (19F) have a date (19F) tonight. She’s differently abled. How can I make the date go well?’

A few nights ago, I met this girl, and she was absolutely stunning, struck up a conversation and we clicked. She is wayyyy out of my league, but I had the balls to ask her on a date. To my surprise, she said yes and we're getting frozen yogurt tonight! It'll be both of our's first dates with another girl, as it just so happened, we're both exploring our sexuality.

She is so cute, so sweet, and I want to make the date perfect! The thing about her is that she is completely blind in one eye, has low visibility in the other, and uses a cane to get around. I have never really had an extended interaction with anyone who was differently abled. It doesn't bother me at all that she is, either.

My mouth sometimes doesn't come with a filter, so I don't want to mention anything that could potentially offend her. I don't want to treat her differently because of her disability, yet I want to make things comfortable for her. I really, *really* want this date to go well. Any advice, Reddit?. ​

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The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Planning a first date with a visually impaired partner is a chance to blend thoughtfulness with authenticity. The 19-year-old’s desire to make her date comfortable without focusing on her disability shows a mature instinct for respect. Her date, navigating life with partial blindness, likely values normalcy but may appreciate small accommodations, like verbal cues or a clear path. The key is balancing sensitivity with treating her as an equal.

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This taps into a broader issue: inclusive dating. A 2022 study by the National Federation of the Blind found 70% of visually impaired individuals prioritize partners who see beyond their disability. Overemphasizing her impairment or avoiding it entirely can feel patronizing, so open communication is vital.

Dr. Amy McCart, a disability inclusion expert, advises, “Ask respectfully about preferences—don’t assume what someone needs”. McCart’s insight suggests starting the date with a light, “Let me know what works best for you,” to invite guidance. Simple acts—like announcing your presence, offering an arm for walking, or describing the menu—can enhance comfort without fanfare.

She should keep the vibe fun, focusing on shared interests like their mutual exploration of their sexuality. If slip-ups happen, a quick laugh and apology keep things human. A relaxed, open attitude will set the stage for a memorable night and a potential second date.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit community showered the woman with encouragement, praising her thoughtfulness and urging her to treat her date as a capable equal. Many advised letting her date guide any disability-related needs, like offering an arm only if asked.

Commenters with disabilities emphasized avoiding sugarcoated terms like “differently abled” and being upfront if questions arise. The consensus was to focus on fun, be herself, and handle any awkward moments with humor and grace, ensuring a genuine connection shines through.

RunningTrisarahtop − You can talk to her about this- ask her if there are times she wants to do things on her own or that she would like you to offer help. A few general points. She’s gotten through her life to this point so treat her like the capable adult she is, not like she’s a child who needs help paying/selecting food/talking to others/tying shoes/etc.

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If you’re talking and need to leave for a moment, let her know so that she isn’t talking to thin air.. Make sure she knows you’re there before you touch her. Just like with anyone else, don’t touch without asking.

Some people will think it’s helpful to grab or manipulate the person with a disability in an attempt to “help” or “guide” them. Don’t assume she wants to be guided, but you can offer her your arm or ask to hold hands.

Kohai_Kouple − A few days ago OP, a girl with neurological impairments/tics posted here that she was nervous to go on her first date with a guy that she met. Everyone told her to go for it and she made it clear she would give the guy a lot of room to stumble word-wise.

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The internet has conditioned us to be hyper sensitive about the language we use. Say anything and someone will be offended. Fortunately, real life is still sane. Most people, especially those that have faced hardship, just want to find a good rock to depend on.

I'm sure your date won't hold any ignorance on your part against her. Be polite and let her lead the discussion on her impairment if it comes up. People are still better than the internet would have you believe. Good luck OP!

CoreyORD − Treat her like anyone else; don't make the date about her disability. That doesn't mean you should be afraid to ask questions if they come up -- she will probably appreciate direct, respectful questions. Still focus on getting to know who she is, which is assuredly much more than a disability.. Go get her, tiger!

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SalsaRice − I'm not visually impaired (extreme hearing loss)... but I wouldn't be too worried. She's likely already heard anything unique you could possibly say about her vision/disability.. Unless you say something radically offensive, you'll likely be hard-pressed to insult her.

Tip-toeing around her vision issues and pretending like it doesn't exist would honestly be more annoying that just talking about it outright. And hearing 'differently-abled' would probably be the point where I'd 100% be trying to leave.

We know we have disabilities.... sugar-coating it with phrases like that is more annoying than just being upfront about it. (This isn't every disabled person's opinion; we actually argue about this a bit on r/deaf).

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gameover2134 − Honestly brother. Go out and have a good time. Just dont bring up anything until she does first. Dont be afraid to ask if she was born this way or if something happened. It's a first date you are both trying to figure out the other. Just be you and see what happens. Cause at the end of the day. That's how it happens.. Just be respectful and yourself.

hurquh − She’s well aware of the fact she’s legally blind. My dad was blind, just ask what is most comfortable for her - does she need to hold your arm when walking, ask if she needs the menu read to her. When you approach her say “it’s me _____” . And have fun, you’ll do fine.

Missyfit160 − I’d just start off by saying “Hey XXXX, super excited about our date, I’m just nervous! Let me know if I’m putting my foot in my mouth...like now probably!” Laugh, and just say “Your choice! Wanna lead?” Gives her a chance to know you already respect her and want to not make it about her impairment but also that you’re young and dumb and might say something without realizing it.

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Then with the want to lead question. Sounds silly to ask someone visually impaired to lead, but it’ll give her a chance to either LEAD or say, “Ok! But you let me know if there’s XXXX” Oh and one more thing. YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY DO SOMETHING SO EMBARRASSING YOU WILL WANT TO CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND DIE...however it’s how you REACT, that will win her over.

I have actually said “see you later!” to a blind man before. I’ve waved to a girlfriend with no arms too. OMG. I usually just proceed to say ohhhh wow I’m sorry and laugh, they usually laugh right along with you.. They’re used to it. They’re not used to people being NORMAL about their disability.. Get it over with and out in the air so you can f**king move on from it.

LetsArgueAboutNothin − Just go out and have a good time. The vision thing is only a big deal if you make it a big deal. Trying to be overly helpful could be a turn off for her. If she needs your help, she'll ask for it.

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lionhart280 − Step 1:. Just say partially blind in one eye. Differently abled tends to come across as condescending. Step 2: that's it. Shes spent her whole life learning how to be a functional adult with partial blindness. She should be just a normal human in all other regards.. Just treat her normal.

Limitlessbritt − I think there has been solid advice so far. Don't worry yourself to much and just be yourself.. If we could can an update how the date went that would be awesome.. Good luck!

This story of a young woman’s quest to craft a perfect first date brims with heart and hope. Her care in honoring her date’s independence while ensuring comfort reflects a universal desire to connect authentically.

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It reminds us that love thrives on respect and shared joy, no matter the challenges. Share your thoughts below—how do you make a first date unforgettable while embracing someone’s unique needs?

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