How do I (24F) come clean to my (25M) boyfriend of 2 years about a lie I’ve kept going since 8th Grade?

Picture a cozy pizza night, laughter filling the air as a young couple debates Marvel movies. But beneath the warmth, a 24-year-old woman harbors a secret that’s gnawed at her since 8th grade: she’s not colorblind, despite convincing her boyfriend, his family, and her friends for over a decade. What started as a silly school prank spiraled into a lie she’s carried into her adult life, and now, guilt threatens to dim the sparkle of her perfect relationship.

This isn’t just about a fib; it’s a heartfelt wrestle with truth, love, and the courage to own up. Her fear of losing her boyfriend’s trust battles her need to come clean, making every moment with him bittersweet. Readers will feel the weight of her secret and the hope for forgiveness, diving into a story of vulnerability, redemption, and the messy beauty of being honest.

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‘How do I (24F) come clean to my (25M) boyfriend of 2 years about a lie I’ve kept going since 8th Grade?’

I’m aware this is a terrible thing to do and I will live with the guilt of it my whole life and cannot apologize enough to those affected by this. When I was starting 8th grade I went into a completely new school district due to bullying at my old school. I still had one friend from my old school who I texted daily.

I’m aware this is a terrible thing to do and I will live with the guilt of it my whole life and cannot apologize enough to those affected by this. When I was starting 8th grade I went into a completely new school district due to bullying at my old school. I still had one friend from my old school who I texted daily.

We’ll call her Molly. Molly and I had this idea to see how long I could convince the students at this school that I was color blind (I am not) and we decided it would be easiest for me to pretend to see in just black and white (which I’m pretty certain is not a thing) so I wouldn’t get stumped if people “tested” me.

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We’ll call her Molly. Molly and I had this idea to see how long I could convince the students at this school that I was color blind (I am not) and we decided it would be easiest for me to pretend to see in just black and white (which I’m pretty certain is not a thing) so I wouldn’t get stumped if people “tested” me.

Unfortunately for me I was quite convincing and nobody ever called me out if they doubted me. I went on to fall out of contact with Molly because she stabbed me in the back and was then worried everyone would hate me when I came clean alone without her to defend that we had come up with it together.

Unfortunately for me I was quite convincing and nobody ever called me out if they doubted me. I went on to fall out of contact with Molly because she stabbed me in the back and was then worried everyone would hate me when I came clean alone without her to defend that we had come up with it together.

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At this point I had made a whole new friend group who believed me and the entire school that knew me also “knew” that I was colorblind. Fast forward to meeting my now boyfriend, nothing special just lucky on a dating app. He was everything I was looking for and I couldn’t have been more happy and I still am.

At this point I had made a whole new friend group who believed me and the entire school that knew me also “knew” that I was colorblind. Fast forward to meeting my now boyfriend, nothing special just lucky on a dating app. He was everything I was looking for and I couldn’t have been more happy and I still am.

We have never fought in the two years we’ve been together apart from silly debates about SpongeBob plots and what kinds of food is better. I love him more than anything and I want to spend my life with him. However, I don’t believe I deserve to have that. When we started getting serious he met my best friend since high school.

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We have never fought in the two years we’ve been together apart from silly debates about SpongeBob plots and what kinds of food is better. I love him more than anything and I want to spend my life with him. However, I don’t believe I deserve to have that. When we started getting serious he met my best friend since high school.

And in them meeting my color vision came up and rather than come clean to my best friend I decided to lie to my boyfriend and I feel terrible to this day. My issue is I don’t believe I can continue to go forward when there is this low hanging over the whole relationship for no reason.

And in them meeting my color vision came up and rather than come clean to my best friend I decided to lie to my boyfriend and I feel terrible to this day. My issue is I don’t believe I can continue to go forward when there is this low hanging over the whole relationship for no reason.

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I feel I have done the equivalent to cheating on him by lying for our entire relationship. I know I have to come clean and I am going to and hope for the best I suppose I simply would like advice on how to best go about it.. (His family also believes I am color blind)

I feel I have done the equivalent to cheating on him by lying for our entire relationship. I know I have to come clean and I am going to and hope for the best I suppose I simply would like advice on how to best go about it.. (His family also believes I am color blind)

Feel free to rip me a new one in the comments I deserve it for faking a disability and I take full responsibility and will not claim I was a child and didn’t understand. I knew I was wrong I regret it. Edit: those telling me to add to the lie are not helping (I know some are jokes) my issue isn’t I’m scared he’ll figure it out. I want him to know. I simply want a smart way of going about telling him.

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Feel free to rip me a new one in the comments I deserve it for faking a disability and I take full responsibility and will not claim I was a child and didn’t understand. I knew I was wrong I regret it. Edit: those telling me to add to the lie are not helping (I know some are jokes) my issue isn’t I’m scared he’ll figure it out. I want him to know. I simply want a smart way of going about telling him.

UPDATE: I spoke with my boyfriend last night while having pizza, I simply said what I typed above as many people suggested and after a lot of blank stares, silence and a simple “what” he started laughing. I was laughing nervously and I was still unsure if he was going to get up and leave my house but wanted to laugh at me first (dramatic I know but that’s me.

UPDATE: I spoke with my boyfriend last night while having pizza, I simply said what I typed above as many people suggested and after a lot of blank stares, silence and a simple “what” he started laughing. I was laughing nervously and I was still unsure if he was going to get up and leave my house but wanted to laugh at me first (dramatic I know but that’s me.

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He calmed me down (because he’s a saint) and told me I’m stupid, that was weird and he’s still slightly shocked but ultimately he didn’t care. We continued eating our pizza, watched the next Marvel movie in our lineup and had a completely relaxing night.

He calmed me down (because he’s a saint) and told me I’m stupid, that was weird and he’s still slightly shocked but ultimately he didn’t care. We continued eating our pizza, watched the next Marvel movie in our lineup and had a completely relaxing night.

I waited to update still unsure if he was staying with me after a nights rest on it but I’m happy to say it’s as if nothing has changed and I couldn’t be happier. I saw a few comments appalled that I was sorry for lying to my boyfriend but nobody else.

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I waited to update still unsure if he was staying with me after a nights rest on it but I’m happy to say it’s as if nothing has changed and I couldn’t be happier. I saw a few comments appalled that I was sorry for lying to my boyfriend but nobody else.

I will admit my post did make it seem that way and maybe he was the catalyst to make me take the steps towards coming clean but I do deeply regret lying to my friends as well. On that note I told my best friend as well (over the phone because she lives hours away at college right now) and she also thought it was hilarious and shocking I managed to keep it up this long.

I will admit my post did make it seem that way and maybe he was the catalyst to make me take the steps towards coming clean but I do deeply regret lying to my friends as well. On that note I told my best friend as well (over the phone because she lives hours away at college right now) and she also thought it was hilarious and shocking I managed to keep it up this long.

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She also said she wasn’t upset with me and it changed nothing between us apart from the relentless teasing I’m sure is coming my way. I haven’t told my boyfriend’s family yet as I want him and I to decide together how to go about it because he obviously knows them better than me although I have already come to love them as my own family.

She also said she wasn’t upset with me and it changed nothing between us apart from the relentless teasing I’m sure is coming my way. I haven’t told my boyfriend’s family yet as I want him and I to decide together how to go about it because he obviously knows them better than me although I have already come to love them as my own family.

I may update later on when I do tell them all but I’m not sure. Thank you for all the advice even though some of it was hard to hear I accept that and will move on and be better going forward.

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I may update later on when I do tell them all but I’m not sure. Thank you for all the advice even though some of it was hard to hear I accept that and will move on and be better going forward.

Carrying a childhood lie into a serious relationship is like lugging an old backpack full of bricks—exhausting and unnecessary. The woman’s guilt over pretending to be colorblind reflects her deep care for her relationship, but her fear of confession risks undermining the trust she values. Her boyfriend’s laughter upon learning the truth suggests a strong bond, but the lie’s scope, involving his family and her friends, complicates the fallout.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, writes in The Gottman Institute , “Honesty, even when painful, strengthens trust when paired with accountability.” The woman’s lie, though harmless in intent, misrepresented a disability, which could sting those who believed her. A 2020 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships  notes that confessions in close relationships often lead to forgiveness if delivered with genuine remorse and no defensiveness.

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Dr. Gottman advises, “Own the mistake fully and invite dialogue.” The woman’s approach—sharing her story candidly over pizza—was spot-on, and her boyfriend’s lighthearted response bodes well. She should continue this with his family, perhaps in a casual setting, explaining her childhood prank and regret without excuses.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew jumped in like a lively pizza party, tossing out laughs, tough love, and clever quips about her decade-long charade. It’s like a group chat where everyone’s rooting for honesty but can’t resist a chuckle at the absurdity. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

Prudent-Cook-7794 − Hey, so this is insane.. Thank you,

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imnotawitchimyou − Here’s the thing: you’ve been feeling shame about this for so long you’ve lost perspective. So I’ll tell you— this is objectively hilarious. It’s also not that big of a deal. You told a lie AS A KID to get attention. You didn’t hurt anybody with this lie.

You got in too deep and kept it up to avoid embarrassment in hs (probably when the shame started getting tangled into it because you knew by that point that it’s a little cringe to tell an attention seeking lie). Now you can’t separate the reality— that it was a dumb, silly thing to do and nobody is going to hate you or cut you off for it— from the alt

reality you’ve created in your head — that this was a shameful Lie and you’ve betrayed your friends and boyfriend by telling it. The alt. reality is not a thing. It’s not real. Try to get an aerial view of this: imagine your boyfriend claimed to be left handed as a kid because he thought it’d be cooler and somehow managed to learn to write with his left hand and fooled everyone.

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Now imagine him coming to you, (solemn, guilty, almost in tears) and admitting that he’s not actually left handed. He has been right handed all along. You’d laugh your ass off, right? I mean, if my husband told me that, i definitely would. Because it’s funny! And nobody got hurt. And it’s soooo not a big deal.

I’d probably make fun of him for it for a while (not mean, just teasing). And then I’d probably forget all about it. Maybe once in a while I’d remember and chuckle again.. Just come clean to your bf. It’s not that deep. Your brain and shame are tricking you.

pyrocidal − looool. reminds me of how I said I lost my virginity to a nonexistent man named Jack and kept up the lie for an entire seven year relationship with a dude I actually lost it to. idk, tell him you have to tell him something and it's REALLY BAD.

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just keep alluding to how terrible it is, so that he thinks you slept with his dad or drowned litter of puppies for fun. . then when you finally reveal it's just that you're not colorblind, he's relieved 🤡

DISTROpianLife − Listen, I once convinced a priest I was my twin when I was in 7th grade.. Except I don't have a twin. I'm an only child.. That's what kids do. They f**k around. In your case, you're finding out a little too late.

If I can come clean and risk eternal damnation with a man of the cloth (he ended up finding it hilarious but did recommend therapy), I'm sure you can come clean to folks. Because it's f**king funny.

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queen_of_wandsxxx − Hey so I actually did this too. 🤣 not laughing at you just at us being so silly. I eventually was just like yeah I’m not color blind idk what I was thinking.

LostGlimmer − Just say you think the colors are starting to come back to you 😭

ewandrowsky − Just tell him the truth and say how much embarrassing this feels for you and all of that. You'll probably never be in peace as long as you have to sustain this for the remaining 75 years of your life

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Double_Violinist_576 − Idk how you haven’t slipped up over the years. Like “oh can you hand me the green one?” Or something like that. I must say I admire your dedication to the bit. Its impressive. I don’t know how I would get out of this tbh. But I would come clean and see how he take it. It’s not like you’ve done anything terrible or hurt someone, it was just a joke that snow balled out of control.

Maybe set it up like something is eating at you and he deserves the truth and he’ll think you cheated and so when you tell him you’re not actually colorblind it won’t seem that bad??. That doesn’t sound good either but it’s a strange situation. Idk sis but don’t beat yourself up! you’re certainly not a bad person. I wish you the best of luck.

enableconsonant − Just tell him! And your BFF. It’s definitely a harmless lie and hopefully even your childhood friends will find it funny and get over it. By the way, I don’t know a lot about colorblindness, but I don’t think people “suffer” with it. It’s commonly mild and they get two colors mixed up.

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Assaltwaffle − You sit him down, tell him how it happened, yet do not blame it on your friend. Take responsibility and come clean. Where are you go from there it’s up to you and him. Do you really want to have this lie keep on going until someone eventually figures out that you were lying and they call you on it?

These Redditors split between roasting her dedication to the lie and urging her to confess with humor. Some saw it as a harmless prank; others flagged the ethical slip of faking a disability. Do their colorful takes capture the full picture, or are they just enjoying the drama?

This tale of a fake colorblindness confession proves that even old lies can fade with courage and love. The woman’s leap to honesty, met with her boyfriend’s laughter and grace, lights the way for trust to grow stronger. It’s a reminder that owning our mistakes, however silly, can deepen our bonds. Have you ever had to confess a long-held secret? What would you do in her place? Share your stories below.

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