How do I (23M) get my mom (50F) to stop rotting my daughter’s (5) brain?

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In a small apartment buzzing with a 5-year-old’s giggles, a young dad flips through picture books, dreaming of sparking his daughter’s imagination. At 23, he’s a single father juggling multiple jobs, determined to shield her from the mindless whirl of “brainrot” videos like Skibidi Toilet. He’s curated a world of PBS Kids and hands-on play, but his mother, who babysits, has other ideas.

Her tablet blasts YouTube’s kid-targeted slop, ignoring his pleas for educational content. When his daughter comes home singing a Skibidi Toilet tune, his heart sinks—not just from exhaustion, but from feeling unheard. This Reddit saga pulls us into a tug-of-war between a father’s vision and a grandmother’s habits, raising a question: how do you enforce parenting rules when your biggest helper plays by her own?

‘How do I (23M) get my mom (50F) to stop rotting my daughter’s (5) brain?’

How do I (23M) get my mother (50F) to stop showing my kid 'brainrot content' when she baby sits my daughter? Some bad decision making in my teenaged years lead to me being a single father when I was 17. I've been working 2 (sometimes 3) jobs since to take care of her and pay for our apartment, and despite some stuff that happened when she found out I had gotten a girl pregnant, my mom has taken a big part in helping me take care of her.

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When my daughter turned 4, I started showing her educational TV. Mostly classic PBS Kids shows, and some that I grew up with (Between the Lions and Fetch with Ruff Ruffman, if anyone remembers). I have been very careful in avoiding a lot of the stuff that could be considered 'brain rot' (Cocomelon and Skibidi Toilet are the two big ones I'm trying to avoid for now).

I've made it known that I don't want my daughter to have a phone or tablet until she's older, so when I'm watching her, we read, draw, or play with toys. My mother is very different, and is more than happy to let my daughter sit in front of her personal tablet, or put on whatever slop comes up when you search up 'Kids Videos' on YouTube.

I've talked to my mother multiple times about it, and I've made it known that I would prefer if she was more active when it came to playing with my daughter, but she hasn't changed anything. My final straw was when my daughter came home singing the Skibidi Toilet song, and maybe it was because I was frustrated or I had a long day, but I cried a little because I felt so disrespected.

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Anytime I've ever brought it up with my mom, she's said that she's not causing any harm, and that she was perfectly capable raising me to adulthood and I was, 'Only a little bit of a fuckup.' I'm not really sure what to do now.

I know this is a dumb thing to get so pressed over, and ultimately, my mom is right that this is harmless, but I want her to at least step up the type of stuff she's showing my kid. I can't afford to lose her as a babysitter, but I don't know how to talk to her about this.

Parenting is a high-stakes game, and this young dad’s clash with his mother over screen time highlights a generational divide in childcare. His commitment to educational content like PBS Kids contrasts sharply with his mother’s laissez-faire approach, letting YouTube’s algorithm serve up “brainrot” like Cocomelon. Her dismissal—calling him “only a little bit of a fuckup”—undermines his authority, while her reliance on screens risks his daughter’s development.

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He’s caught between needing her free babysitting and wanting control over his child’s media diet. Screen time is a hot-button issue. A 2023 American Academy of Pediatrics report notes that excessive exposure to low-quality media can impair attention and language development in young children, with fast-paced shows like Cocomelon linked to reduced focus (soucre). The dad’s instincts align with this, prioritizing active engagement over passive consumption. His mother, however, may see screens as harmless, a perspective shaped by raising him in a pre-iPad era.

Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a pediatrician and screen time expert, warns: “Not all screen time is equal. Content that encourages interaction and imagination is far better than hyper-stimulating videos that overload young brains” (soucre). Christakis’s insight suggests the dad’s focus on shows like Between the Lions supports cognitive growth, while his mother’s choices could hinder it. Her defensiveness may stem from feeling criticized, but her refusal to adapt disrespects his role as the parent.

To bridge this gap, he could create YouTube playlists of approved shows like Bluey or Sesame Street, as Redditors suggested, and share them with his mother. Framing the request positively—“I’d love for her to enjoy these shows we picked together”—might reduce tension. He could also provide offline alternatives, like a LeapFrog tablet with preloaded educational games, to limit YouTube’s pull. Expressing gratitude for her help while firmly restating his expectations could reinforce his authority without burning bridges. If resistance persists, exploring low-cost daycare options might be a last resort, though his budget is tight.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit jumped in with a mix of practical tips and cheers for this dedicated dad, proving he’s not alone in his screen-time showdown. Here’s what they said:

rapt2right − Sit yourself down and create a couple of YouTube playlists of content you DO think is beneficial, appropriate or at least not painfully stupid . Make sure mom has links to those playlists . Sounds like you will want maybe 3 playlists with 10 or 15 hours of content, each.

Get your daughter involved- she might be excited to have her very own playlists with her name (first name only, of course) on them that she helped create. Also, a lot of great children's books are available in audio versions. Audible has a big selection available for free (even without an account)and some libraries do, too.

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Ask mom if she'll please meet you in the middle & avoid the ones you *really* find a**orrent and stuff rated above Y or Y-7. (I am with you about Skibidi because just yuck and I have read that some of the content is really for an older audience). You're doing great. Hang in there!

notkathy56 − I feel like the people in this comment section have forgotten some of the more disturbing children's YouTube videos that can pop up. Subscribing to safe channels and putting together a playlist might be helpful.

It may be better to frame your worries less as not wanting you let daughter to watch dumb annoying videos (still valid), and more as avoiding dangerous videos. It's not as common of a thing anymore but YouTube has a history of kids content being weirdly s**ual.

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PlanetLibrarian − I can understand your concern - Cocomelon has been proven to negatively affect developing brains - but agree that there are alternatives that are better for your child. Bluey, Wiggles, Yo Gabba Gabba, Sesame St etc are more educational.

Can you create a Youtube profile for your daughter and subscribe to all the good ones so your Mum can just flip to the subscribed channels and scroll through that instead of the suggested rubbish?. It might be a better option for you all with noone getting upset?

lovelystarbuckslover − I'm a teacher and this is a conversation from a point of growth. When you were a child- the media was not as easily accessible- even at 23- iPhones appeared late elementary/middle school but weren't normalized. You made it through toddlerhood where even leaving the home you had no form of 'tv'. You couldn't watch something in a restaurant

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Now- you did have gameboy advance, gameboy xp, nintendo ds- but those are active stimulants- as a teacher I believe strongly video games are 100% better than passively watching tv- neither are perfect but given one or the other- if I wanted quiet time in a restaurant I'd much rather have my child on a game than watching a show.

Nowadays you can watch a show anytime anywhere so its easy and why literacy rates are low- young children are staring at screens just getting visual stimulation- do you think a two year old is processing what happens on paw patrol?

no. and instead their missing out on looking around at a store and seeing the signs and developing concepts of print and knowing which way letters and numbers go.. So when she was a parent- she didn't have that type of dilemma. Now moving forward, again as a teacher- if you can't talk about a show/movie you shouldn't be watching it until an age when you can at least give basic details 'Blue and Steve set up a party'

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misfitx − I'd try a toy computer that has educational content. Offline and with fun activities. Leapfrog or something.

Real-Elysium − I'm a teacher and i'm here to tell you that you are NOT overly concerned/over reacting. The kids who watched all the 'brainrot' or were ipad babies have HORRIBLE attention spans, can't spell, and have worse reading comprehension.

They aren't at grade level for a lot of things. Developing the imagination and brain connections through activities is crucial right now for her and video websites like tiktok, instagram, and youtube kill the imagination stations in our brains.

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BaseClean − U have legit concerns so don’t feel like ur overreacting. U r absolutely not. Just came here to say this cuz there r already plenty of great suggestions. U r a great dad which is super impressive given ur age and the fact that u were a teen dad.

Majestic-General7325 − Okay, so far the advice has been s**t. You can absolutely dictate what your kid does or doesn't watch. It's not like you are a hard-line no-screen parent - you have a list of acceptable things for her to watch and a list of unacceptable things.

ReaRain95 − Maybe just bite the bullet and get a cheaper tablet for grandmas, but load it with educational things. My daughters range from 4-9, and I have one with ABC Mouse/Learning Acadamy, Duolingo (this is mostly my 9 year old, though), and the PBS kids apps.

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You're not in the wrong at all, and I'm very sorry your support system isn't being supportive, but if it's what you have to do, it's what you have to do. If your mom isn't willing to budge, just try to turn it into the least bad situation.

Equal_Audience_3415 − Is your mother watching her for free? If yes, then you need to be a lot more patient with your mother. She IS helping you.. The playlist for your daughter is a good start. Spend some time looking for what you want your daughter to watch. Create a little library of her favorite books. Sit down with your mother and show her what you want for your daughter.

Let her know you appreciate her, but you want to give your daughter. a good base for her future education. She should be on board with that.. Bluey is great. 😊 If you are paying her, you do have the option of sending your daughter elsewhere. I do believe if you explain your goal to your mother and bring things for her to use, she would be happy to do them.

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These suggestions are gold, but do they fully grasp the emotional weight of relying on a stubborn babysitter?

This young father’s story is a testament to the grit of parenting against the odds, balancing love, work, and values. His fight to protect his daughter’s mind from “brainrot” isn’t just about YouTube—it’s about carving out her future. As he navigates his mother’s resistance, his next steps could redefine their dynamic. Will playlists and gentle nudges win her over, or is a tougher stance needed? If you’ve clashed with family over parenting choices, how did you find common ground? Drop your thoughts below—what would you do to keep the peace while standing firm?

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